they are only irreversible after a certain amount of confirmations, i think its about 6
technically its more.. thats why block rewards are unspendable for 100 confirms.
but the chance of a orphan block is 1-2% (atmost risk is 3blocks a day)
in a period where upgrades and consensus changes are happening where pools wont do anything to the blocks unless >95% compliance, means a <5% risk = ~6-7 blocks might orphan
so in a time when there is a bug or a time of consensual feature upgrade where risks are higher, some services may request upto 10-20 confirms, until the risk level subsides.
as for the "trust" / honourability between buyer and seller of zero confirms.. its still not good
some people say its ok to risk $1-2 without confirming.. but.
people buying something for $1-$2 may only see it as value of a loaf of bread in western countries so no big deal.
but people making $1-$2 transaction is not going to pay 7cents-14cents to make such a purchase (7% cost)
so chances are the tx wont even have a fee and it WILL get dropped by the network rather than accepted into a block.
also in the third world. that $1-$2 is a weeks wages. and the tx fee is 1-3 hours minimum wage labour. again chances are no fee added
again dont trust it, if you are transacting with someone from a developing country. treat $2 spend as if they were trying to spend $400 U.S.
you may think its just a loaf of bread. but they think of it as a weeks wage so would be happy to put the effort in to double spend and keep the weeks wage.
its not about how much you spend. its about WHO you are transacting with and the tell tell signs that the transaction may or may not get into a block EG low fee, or opted in for RBF or spot the same inputs being used elsewhere