Bitcoin Bible: Blockchain Testament

[Markoskurpeleus]

1. Before the beginning thare thare was a Bit and the clone itself by fumigation. A Coincame out of the Bit. Then the Bit enter inside the Bit by C++ logic and hide itself with cryptographic encryption. Thus it become known as Bit+Coin=Bitcoin. 

2. Then Satoshi said, Abra ka Dabra ! The Bitcoin burst out and created the Bitcoin Big Bang. Then Satoshi said,  let there be many Bitcoins and the Bitcoin begin multiplying with a process called mining.

3. So according to the wish of Satoshi there are 21 million 6 hundreds and 44 Bitcoin were formed in the Eternal Cosmos. Then Satoshi created the Coinbase and begin to store Bitcoin one by one but before do that he had to invent the Blockchain to register all the Bitcoins with a sacred algorithm.

4. Then Satoshi mined the first Bitcoin Block and called it Genesis Block that becomes the base unit of all the Bitcoins. Then Satoshi rested for Seven days before he run the Bitcoin Blockchain Network in his super computer.

[AgentofCoin]

Bitcoin blasphemy!
You lead Satoshi's children astray with false doctrine.

1. Satoshi never said "Abra ka Dabra!", he said "Let there be trust in trustlessness!".
2. Satoshi divided the dark from the light and assigned 21 million coins, until the judgement.
3. Satoshi didn't mine the Genesis block, it came into being from the Word, and so it was and is.
4. Satoshi rested for five days after creation, and on the sixth, he tilled the garden with his disciples.

[Kprawn]

Then came BU vs BTC Core and it was brother vs brother and BU wanted to kill BTC Core. {Kane & Abel} .... Thou shall not steal echoed through

the Blockchain and fire and brimstone came through Satoshi's experiment... stabbing BU with one blow. Satoshi came back on the Blockchain

cloud and took back his experiment from the greedy Roger Ver and he turned into a salt pillar. 

[AgentofCoin]

... Roger Ver ... turned into a salt pillar.  

Lol! That's a good twist at the end.
One of the few times I've actually laughed out loud.


Edit: Here is the passage Kprawn is referring to from the Bitcoin Bible:

24. Then decentralization rained brimstone upon Bitcoin Unlimited and fire from Satoshi out of cypherpunk heaven;
25. And by consensus overthrew that client type, and all it's features, and all the inhabitants of that client, and that which grew in their hearts.
26. And Roger Ver fled the devastation but looked back longingly and was turned into a pillar of salt.