cybersofts
Copper Member
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Activity: 658
Merit: 284
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May 03, 2017, 02:19:25 PM |
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Heres one.
3 men are on a plane. They decide to find out what objects fall the fastest.
The first man threw an apple. The second man threw a TV. The third man threw a bomb.
They land the plane to go see how their objects fair. They found a boy crying. They asked why he was crying.
"An apple fell from the sky and hit me on the head!"
They continued walking and saw a woman crying. They asked why she was crying.
"A TV fell from the sky and hit me on the head!"
They continued walking and found a girl laughing so hard she could barely breathe. They asked her why she was laughing.
"My grandpa farted and my house blew up!"
Like that, but the woman and the boy should be dead i think.  The apple, TV and Bomb falls on different locations as the plane moving  the guys dropped them one by one and not on same spot  |
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The grue lurks in the darkest places of the earth. Its favorite diet is adventurers, but its insatiable appetite is tempered by its fear of light. No grue has ever been seen by the light of day, and few have survived its fearsome jaws to tell the tale.
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lockept93 (OP)
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May 03, 2017, 10:20:31 PM |
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Heres one.
3 men are on a plane. They decide to find out what objects fall the fastest.
The first man threw an apple. The second man threw a TV. The third man threw a bomb.
They land the plane to go see how their objects fair. They found a boy crying. They asked why he was crying.
"An apple fell from the sky and hit me on the head!"
They continued walking and saw a woman crying. They asked why she was crying.
"A TV fell from the sky and hit me on the head!"
They continued walking and found a girl laughing so hard she could barely breathe. They asked her why she was laughing.
"My grandpa farted and my house blew up!"
Like that, but the woman and the boy should be dead i think. The apple, TV and Bomb falls on different locations as the plane moving the guys dropped them one by one and not on same spot Maybe they turn after each drop and fly over and over again the same spot. Anywere - this joke has so much logical fails that its even funny again... |
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marlboroza
Legendary
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Activity: 1932
Merit: 2270
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May 03, 2017, 10:34:05 PM |
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Zloren
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Activity: 39
Merit: 0
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May 04, 2017, 12:02:38 AM |
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A:Hello bro, have a job? B:There, his salary is great A:What is his job? B:Teach crocodiles to swim A: LOL |
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nomad13666
Legendary
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Activity: 854
Merit: 1000
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May 05, 2017, 12:33:05 AM |
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nomad13666.
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superhelper
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May 05, 2017, 12:49:07 AM |
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SCENE: My teenage daughter and me in the car.
F : Dad, do you know what the most commonly used letter in a girl’s name is?
Me: Hmm, is it a consonant or a vowel? (Silence.) Please tell me you know what consonants and vowels are.
F : You’re no fun, Dad. Forget it.
Me: What is a vowel?
F : OK, OK. A vowel is … ahh … eh … well, oh … uh …
Me: Close enough.
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Instamined
Member
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Activity: 70
Merit: 10
woah that's a lot of money
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May 05, 2017, 12:57:36 AM |
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Dash
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BTC: 1HmTtysbeo9EsbotzcpL8QEx8PRcB5EzgW
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8rch7
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May 05, 2017, 01:12:32 AM |
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what is mean? i am still childhood, not understand about it |
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nomad13666
Legendary
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Activity: 854
Merit: 1000
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May 05, 2017, 01:25:07 AM |
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what is mean? i am still childhood, not understand about it  Little Miss BobLawblaw has herself a wiener-peach. HER-M-AFRO-DITE. Understand now? |
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ThomasV80
Member
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Activity: 133
Merit: 10
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May 05, 2017, 02:10:26 AM |
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i found it: - if a BARBER make mistakes, its a NEW STYLE. - if a POLITICIAN make mistakes, its a NEW LAW. - if a SCIENTIST make mistakes, its a NEW INVENTION. - if a TAILOR make mistakes, its a NEW FASHION. - if a TEACHER make mistakes, its a NEW THEORY. best alibi  |
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nomad13666
Legendary
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Activity: 854
Merit: 1000
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May 05, 2017, 02:59:49 AM |
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Little Miss BobLawblaw has herself a wiener-peach.
HER-M-AFRO-DITE.
Ok there, Flat Earther. Like I said, I'm all man, and will happily pump your ass full of my hot, sticky load, but I reckon you're not all that right in the head, and I don't stick my dick in crazy. That's right; move along, you hermaphroditic ham.  |
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Instamined
Member
Offline
Activity: 70
Merit: 10
woah that's a lot of money
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May 05, 2017, 03:15:58 AM |
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you hermaphroditic ham.
Don't fantasize about me having tits, you degenerate. Take your sick predilections elsewhere. I don't know whether or not you are a hermaphrodite but if you're mentally deranged enough to think the earth is a sphere you are probably insane enough to think you are a woman. |
BTC: 1HmTtysbeo9EsbotzcpL8QEx8PRcB5EzgW
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nomad13666
Legendary
Offline
Activity: 854
Merit: 1000
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May 05, 2017, 03:29:29 AM |
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you hermaphroditic ham.
Don't fantasize about me having tits, you degenerate. Take your sick predilections elsewhere. I don't know whether or not you are a hermaphrodite but if you're mentally deranged enough to think the earth is a sphere you are probably insane enough to think you are a woman. Flat Earthers, folks. Actively deny science ! SO FUCKING FUNNY !!!Hermaphrodites, folks. Actively deny nature ! SO FUCKING FUNNY !!! |
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nomad13666
Legendary
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Activity: 854
Merit: 1000
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May 05, 2017, 03:42:56 AM |
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Checlets
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May 05, 2017, 09:14:50 PM |
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Little Miss BobLawblaw has herself a wiener-peach.
HER-M-AFRO-DITE.
Ok there, Flat Earther. Like I said, I'm all man, and will happily pump your ass full of my hot, sticky load, but I reckon you're not all that right in the head, and I don't stick my dick in crazy. Omfg didn't expect boblawblaw to be real... What the fuck yo!!! Lmao |
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nomad13666
Legendary
Offline
Activity: 854
Merit: 1000
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May 05, 2017, 09:32:53 PM |
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Little Miss BobLawblaw has herself a wiener-peach.
HER-M-AFRO-DITE.
Ok there, Flat Earther. Like I said, I'm all man, and will happily pump your ass full of my hot, sticky load, but I reckon you're not all that right in the head, and I don't stick my dick in crazy. Omfg didn't expect boblawblaw to be real... What the fuck yo!!! Lmao Ya, most people are shocked when they find out that BobLawblaw is actually a real thing. Pretty fucked up. |
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FerrisBeuller
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Activity: 11
Merit: 0
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May 06, 2017, 05:46:58 AM |
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A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.
“You’ll get your chance in court.” said the Desk Sergeant.
“No, no no!” said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife.
I’ve been trying to do that for years!”
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Fruitadventure
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Activity: 18
Merit: 0
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May 06, 2017, 06:32:19 AM |
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Haha its about us, old farts!
A few old couples used to get together to talk about life and to have a good time. One day one of the men, Harry, started talking about this fantastic restaurant he went to the other night with his wife. “Really?”, one of the men said, what’s it called? After thinking for a few seconds the Harry said, “what are those good smelling flowers called again?” “Do you mean a rose? the first man questioned. “Yes that’s it,” he exclaimed. Looking over at his wife he said, “Rose what’s that restaurant we went to the other night?”
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YuTü.Co.in
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May 06, 2017, 04:14:48 PM |
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lockept93 walks into a bar: Bartender: What'll be, partner? lockept93: I wanna read the labels of your best spirits. Bartender: Thread! lockept93: Awesome and funny stuff---> IFoundThis *Leave a Like!* |
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Andrew1337
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May 06, 2017, 07:53:17 PM |
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Q: There are 500 bricks on a plane. One falls off. How many are left?
A: 499
Q: What are the three steps to putting an elephant in the fridge?
A: Open door, put elephant in, close door.
Q: What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in the fridge?
A: Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door.
Q: The Lion King is having a birthday party. All the animals attend but one. Which animal is it, and why?
A: Giraffe. He's stuck in a fridge.
Q: Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There's no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across and makes it to the other side safely. Why?
A: The alligators are all at a birthday party.
Q: Sally dies anyways. Why?
A: She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
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