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Author Topic: Ferengi, Rules of Acquisition  (Read 1147 times)
Tasty Champa
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June 19, 2011, 05:37:10 PM
 #1

http://memory-alpha.org/wiki/Rules_of_Acquisition

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Rule 001    »    Once you have their money, you never give it back.
Rule 002    »    The best deal is the one that brings the most profit.
Rule 003    »    Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to.
Rule 004    »    A woman wearing clothes is like a man in the kitchen.
Rule 005    »    If you can't break a contract, bend it.
Rule 006    »    Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
Rule 007    »    Keep your ears open.
Rule 008    »    Small print leads to large risk.
Rule 009    »    Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
Rule 010    »    Greed is eternal.
Rule 011    »    Even if it's free, you can always buy it cheaper.
Rule 012    »    Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
Rule 013    »    Anything worth doing is worth doing twice.
Rule 014    »    Keep your family close, keep your Latinum closer.
Rule 015    »    Acting stupid is often smart.
Rule 016    »    A deal is a deal. (until a better one comes along).
Rule 017    »    A contract is a contract is a contract - but only between Ferengi.
Rule 018    »    A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.
Rule 019    »    Satisfaction is not guaranteed.
Rule 020    »    Only give money to people you know you can steal from.
Rule 021    »    Never place friendship before profit.
Rule 022    »    A wise man can hear profit in the wind.
Rule 024    »    Latinum can't buy happiness, but you can sure have a blast renting it.
Rule 025    »    There's always a way out.
Rule 026    »    As the customers go, so goes the wise profiteer.
Rule 027    »    There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.
Rule 028    »    Whisper your way to success.
Rule 029    »    What's in it for me?
Rule 030    »    Talk is cheap; synthehol costs money.
Rule 031    »    Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother. (insult something he cares about, instead).
Rule 032    »    Be careful what you sell. It may do exactly what the customer expects.
Rule 033    »    It never hurts to suck up to the boss.
Rule 034    »    War is good for business.
Rule 035    »    Peace is good for business.
Rule 036    »    Too many Ferengi can't laugh at themselves anymore.
Rule 037    »    If it's free, take it and worry about hidden costs later.
Rule 039    »    Friendship is temporary; profit is forever.
Rule 040    »    She can touch your lobes, but never your Latinum.
Rule 041    »    Profit is its own reward.
Rule 042    »    What's mine is mine, and what's yours is mine too.
Rule 043    »    Caressing an ear is often more forceful than pointing a weapon.
Rule 044    »    Never confuse wisdom with luck.
Rule 045    »    Ambition knows no family.
Rule 046    »    Make your shop easy to find.
Rule 047    »    Don't trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.
Rule 048    »    The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.
Rule 049    »    Everything is worth something to somebody.
Rule 050    »    Gratitude can bring on generosity.
Rule 051    »    Reward anyone who adds to your profits so they will continue to do so.
Rule 052    »    Never ask when you can take.
Rule 057    »    Good customers are as rare as Latinum, Treasure them.
Rule 058    »    There is no substitute for success.
Rule 059    »    Free advice is seldom cheap.
Rule 060    »    Keep your lies consistent.
Rule 061    »    Never buy what can be stolen.
Rule 062    »    The riskier the road, the greater the profit.
Rule 065    »    Win or lose, there's always Huyperian beetle snuff.
Rule 068    »    Ear stroking will get you anything.
Rule 069    »    Ferengi are not responsible for the stupidity of other races.
Rule 070    »    Get the money first, then let the buyers worry about collecting the merchandise.
Rule 071    »    There's a customer born every minute.
Rule 072    »    Never trust your customers.
Rule 073    »    If it gets you profit, sell your own mother.
Rule 075    »    Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of Latinum.
Rule 076    »    Every once in a while, declare peace. "It confuses the hell out of your enemies".
Rule 077    »    It's better to swallow your pride than to lose your profit.
Rule 078    »    When the going gets tough, the tough change the Rules.
Rule 079    »    Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge.
Rule 082    »    The flimsier the product, the higher the price.
Rule 084    »    A friend is not a friend if he asks for a discount.
Rule 085    »    Never let the competition know what you're thinking.
Rule 087    »    A friend in need means three times the profit.
Rule 089    »    Ask not what your profits can do for you, ask what you can do for your profits.
Rule 092    »    There are many paths to profit.
Rule 093    »    Act without delay! The sharp knife cuts quickly.
Rule 094    »    Females and finances don't mix.
Rule 095    »    Expand or die.
Rule 096    »    For every Rule, there is an equal and opposite Rule, (except when there's not).
Rule 097    »    Enough... is never enough.
Rule 098    »    Every man has his price.
Rule 099    »    Trust is the biggest liability of all.
Rule 100    »    If they take your first offer, you either asked too little or offered too much.
Rule 101    »    The only value of a collectible is what you can get somebody else to pay for it.
Rule 102    »    Nature decays, but Latinum lasts forever.
Rule 103    »    Sleep can interfere with...
Rule 104    »    Faith moves mountains... (of inventory).
Rule 105    »    Don't trust anyone who trusts you.
Rule 106    »    There is no honor in poverty.
Rule 107    »    A warranty is valid only if they can find you.
Rule 109    »    Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.
Rule 111    »    Treat people in your debt like family, exploit them [ruthlessly].
Rule 112    »    Never have sex with the boss' sister.
Rule 113    »    Always have sex with the boss.
Rule 115    »    The best contract always has a lot of fine print.
Rule 116    »    There's always a catch.
Rule 117    »    Everything is for sale, including friendship.
Rule 119    »    Never judge a customer by the size of his wallet, (...sometimes, good things come in small packages).
Rule 121    »    Everything is for sale, including friendship.
Rule 123    »    Even a blind man can recognize the glow of Latinum.
Rule 125    »    You can't make a deal if you're dead.
Rule 126    »    Count it.
Rule 127    »    Stay neutral in conflict so that you can sell supplies to both sides.
Rule 135    »    Never trust a beneficiary.
Rule 139    »    Wives serve, brothers inherit.
Rule 141    »    Only fools pay retail.
Rule 142    »    There's no such thing as an unfair advantage.
Rule 143    »    Risk is part of the game... play it for all it's worth.
Rule 144    »    There's nothing wrong with charity...as long as it winds up in your pocket.
Rule 146    »    Necessity, n. The mother of invention. Profit is the father.
Rule 152    »    A lie is a way to tell the truth to someone who doesn't know.
Rule 153    »    Sell the sizzle, not the steak.
Rule 162    »    Even in the worst of times, someone turns a profit.
Rule 168    »    Whisper your way to success.
Rule 169    »    Competition and fair play are mutually exclusive.
Rule 171    »    Blood is thicker than water, and Latinum is thicker than both.
Rule 172    »    Chances aren't what they used to be.
Rule 177    »    Know your enemies... but do business with them always.
Rule 181    »    Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.
Rule 188    »    A fool and his money is the best customer.
Rule 189    »    Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money.
Rule 190    »    Hear all, trust nothing.
Rule 191    »    A Ferengi waits to bid until his opponents have exhausted themselves.
Rule 192    »    Never cheat a Klingon... unless you're sure you can get away with it.
Rule 194    »    It's always good business to know about new customers before they walk in your door.
Rule 200    »    If you're going to have to endure, make yourself comfortable.
Rule 202    »    The justification of profit is profit.
Rule 203    »    New customers are like razor-backed Gree worms... They can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back!
Rule 204    »    It takes a Ferengi to cheat a Ferengi.
Rule 208    »    Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer.
Rule 211    »    Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success... don't hesitate to step on them.
Rule 212    »    Never give away for free what can be sold.
Rule 214    »    Never begin a business negotiation on an empty stomach.
Rule 216    »    Never gamble with an empath.
Rule 217    »    You can't free a fish from water.
Rule 218    »    Always know what you're buying
Rule 219    »    Possession is 11/10 of the law.
Rule 223    »    Beware the man who doesn't make time for oo-mox.
Rule 229    »    Latinum lasts longer than lust.
Rule 231    »    There's a sucker born every minute; be sure you're the first to find each one.
Rule 236    »    You can't buy fate.
Rule 239    »    Never be afraid to mislabel a product.
Rule 241    »    Never trust a hardworking employee.
Rule 242    »    More is good... all is better.
Rule 253    »    Synthehol is the lubricant of choice for a customer's stuck purse.
Rule 255    »    A wife is a luxury... a smart accountant, a necessity.
Rule 256    »    Accountants do not play the game; they only keep the score.
Rule 260    »    Life's not fair. How else would you turn a profit?
Rule 261    »    A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.
Rule 262    »    A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.
Rule 263    »    Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for Latinum.
Rule 265    »    The customer is always right, (...until you get their cash).
Rule 266    »    When in doubt, lie.
Rule 267    »    If you believe it, they believe it.
Rule 270    »    In business deals, a disruptor can be almost as important as a calculator.
Rule 277    »    Anything worth fighting for is worth hiding from.
Rule 284    »    Deep down, everyone's a Ferengi.
Rule 285    »    No good deed ever goes unpunished.
Rule 286    »    When Morn leaves, it's all over. (Quark made this rule up)
Rule 299    »    Whenever you exploit someone, it never hurts to thank them. That way, it's easier to exploit them the next time. (Neelix made this rule up)

The Unwritten Rule   »    When no appropriate Rule applies, make one up!
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June 19, 2011, 05:45:53 PM
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Thats Hillarious, My Girlfriend has the Book, Yes She's a Trekkie... At Current I only have Quartz for Trade, No "DiLithium" !!!

Hey.. Skype Me.. Beffjaker
see my website, PM if Interested, Thanks !
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June 19, 2011, 05:52:51 PM
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I hear you guys like spam.  Undecided

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