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马上评丨幼儿园“告别party”花3万,谁在物化童真
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etiewytied
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马上评丨幼儿园“告别party”花3万,谁在物化童真
June 27, 2017, 02:53:55 PM
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拍毕业艺术照480元,参加小朋友告别聚会280元,互换荧光笔等小礼品120元……上周日杨女士给孩子认真记录着这个月“多出”的开销,一共880元。如今幼儿园的小朋友,大班毕业照要穿着小博士服、小西服照艺术照,和好朋友在亲子餐厅、小游乐园、儿童乐园一起举办告别派对,去租礼堂或场地来场毕业典礼等,五花八门的毕业消费,从场面到精细度都丝毫不亚于大学生。北京市一幼儿园办“告别party”, 包场花3万元,人均500元。(6月27日《北京晚报》)
俗话说:过于溺爱,也就成了害。幼儿园办告别派对,包场花3万元,人均500元,有必要吗?小朋友幼儿园毕业要花多少钱都俨然成了一个问题。
其实,幼儿园大班孩子才6、7岁,并无独立的思考、判断能力。毕业派对再庄重,奢华,所有意义也都是成年人赋加给孩子的。一则,他们多半对之无感;二则,派对讲排场,搞奢华,也只会激发孩子的虚荣心、攀比心,反而不利于孩子的健康成长。但家长总该是有独立思考判断能力的,得有点理性、自制力,而不能在从众心理影响下,被无知孩子的虚荣、攀比欲望牵了鼻子走。否则,家长若“明知故犯”,那孩子也就不过成了他们手中精致的提线玩偶。这就成了是在以孩子为道具,家长、家庭相互攀比了。
也有家长给孩子过奢华毕业派对,是出于补偿心理,称“孩子过得精细点儿是好事儿……自己小时候都是随随便便毕业啊升学的,都没那么隆重的仪式感……不能委屈了孩子。”也许这样的家长是从物质匮乏童年走过来的。可回头想想,那样的童年不也照样过了吗?大多数人回忆里,童年总是没什么心思,玩乐为主,无忧无虑的,经济因素从来不是重点。经济匮乏的童年,当然未必能留给人美好回忆;但现在物质丰裕了,却也没必要从一个极端走向另一个极端。
教育是什么?美国哲学家杜威曾说:“教育即生长,在生长外别无目的。”即在于充分发展孩子的天性和能力。而孩子童年期天性,总是以玩为主的。孩子有孩子的心理特征;过于奢华、讲究排场的种种仪式感浓重的毕业活动,与其心智发展阶段、水平并不相符合。那又何必要去揠苗助长呢?大班毕业照要穿小博士服、小西服照艺术照,去租礼堂或场地来场庄重的毕业典礼,那么孩子就给整成“小大人”了。当他们长大之后回忆过往,失却童真、繁文琐节的童年,岂不令人遗憾?
美国传媒学者波兹曼曾在《童年的消逝》中预警:“电视时代,一切信息都能够在成人和儿童之间共享,成人和儿童之间的界限逐渐模糊,儿童几乎都被迫提早进入充满冲突、战争、性爱、暴力的成人世界,‘童年’逐渐消逝”。而包场花3万,人均500元,商家的广告营销狂轰滥炸,眼睛里只有利润,是没有孩子和成人的分野的;孩子正在被成人世界“小大人化”,家长们应由所警惕。若是顺水推舟,乃至积极迎合,只会加速孩子童年的消逝。那是一件多么无趣的事。
童年谁都贪玩,没什么心思,无忧无虑。孩子不应该成为家长手中的提线木偶、“小大人”。给孩子过一场什么样的幼儿园毕业派对,平心而论,其实与钱无关,无需排场,不必奢华,只要孩子聚玩的开心,就可以了。
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