Oh No! Not an unregulated digital currency! The thing is no one is forcing people to use Bitcoins.
The absurdity of the article is not in being distrustful of bitcoin, but in the author talking about bitcoin like a corporation (when in fact it is a network protocol), which leads to humorous gems like "One cannot possibly imagine that Bitcoin is paying for all of its servers and IT systems with its own product." or "The only thing keeping Bitcoin from flooding the market with a bunch of Bitcoins to meet demand is its word.".