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佛祖啊,求你收了这些放生鱼子的信众吧
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Topic: 佛祖啊,求你收了这些放生鱼子的信众吧 (Read 216 times)
laughercoin
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佛祖啊,求你收了这些放生鱼子的信众吧
July 23, 2017, 02:22:16 AM
#1
你永远不知道何时碰到下一个傻屌,并且他们的智商必然小于等于正常人智商除以4π,重要的是,下限未知——这就是小小琪提出的傻屌测不准原理。
在一个酷暑的夏夜,小小琪又与刚火起来的一位老兄不期而遇:@i56639,一名放生党。
7月4日,他跑到陕西宝鸡,放生了16斤鱼子。
图我就不多上了,毕竟除了卖鱼子的老板,没人会觉得这件事很愉快。
鱼子,就是鱼卵。鱼类是在水中体外受精的,光有卵子无法繁殖。难不成诞生党们还要提供精子不成?
况且鱼子放生,一般只是给别的鱼提供食物而已。
所以鱼子最好的归宿不是放入河里,而是端到桌上。
小小琪观察,这位老兄已多次放生。他自称,准备用三到五年时间,采取三步一叩的方式,从黑龙江北极村走到海南三亚。
放生鱼子的传说据说是这样的:
宋代有个富商杨序,28岁时梦见一位神人告诉他:你再过十天,就要死了。但是你能够救活一万条生命,可以免死。
杨序打电话给助理:马上联系我的朋友多斯桑托斯·达·利马,上次的巴西大鳄龟给我订一万只!对!一万只!我不管,捞光他们县的也得给我凑出来!明天空运到开封。
神人说:鱼卵其实也算。
“我X你娘你不早说!”杨序又举起电话:马上停!把那一万只巴西大鳄龟的订单退了!吓死老子了……改到你家附近的自由市场买鱼子……废话!有多少买多少!
鱼市场的鱼贩提前完成了这个季度的KPI,而远在地球另一端的多斯桑托斯同志因为收了几千只龟付不出钱来,被附近几个村的养龟大户吊起来打了三天。
富商杨序安全度过了10天死限,并开始名声大噪。他为自己公司找到了新的增长点:批发鱼子卖给穷人放生。
老杨靠这个挣了大钱,并且得到了较好的医疗保障,终年90岁。
当然,放生党嘴里的版本与小小琪的版本略有不同,但核心都是一句话:放生行善,终获高寿。放生党发现,这是一种相当便宜、便捷、高效的积德方式,积德五分钟,多活两小时。
一万颗鱼子可以续十天,一只雌草鱼一次就能产几十万颗卵,大家算吧,多少钱能保自己活到一百岁。如果诚心自己建个鱼塘,一千岁都打不住。
除了鱼子,放生党手里的工具很多,常见的有小鸟,乌龟,鱼类,泥鳅,然而近几年出现了十分恶劣的放生行为,比如鳄龟,狐狸,甚至毒蛇。
这些物种不仅会伤人,而且因为攻击力高、掠夺力强(像鳄龟、黑鱼等),会严重破坏生态平衡,放生等于杀生。
可是放生党很少顾及这些知识,他们总是在自己的小圈子内部循环,自得其乐,因为一接触外界,他们就被骂得狗血喷头。
比如他们很得意的案例:放生鱼时法师颂佛经,鱼儿抬头。
他们认为这是鱼们受到佛法感召的结果。然而一名鱼贩子前来分析,核心结果就是:鱼缺氧了。
佛祖求求你,把这些放生党收了吧。
不过换个角度,放生党也对增加我国GDP,促进经济流动性有所帮助。
并且,可能真的会有佛呢。
free520
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Merit: 10
Re: 佛祖啊,求你收了这些放生鱼子的信众吧
July 23, 2017, 02:46:47 AM
#2
作恶了,能用这洗脱罪责。做梦吧。
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