Are your passwords impeccably long and random? Is your wallet on a heavily encrypted drive, sitting in a safe?
Maybe you're an early adopter who misses the days of throwing bitcoins around by the thousands. Maybe you're too cautious to try one of the doubling games.
Whoever you are, your bitcoins are safe.
And you hate it.
Do you want to feel that horrible sinking feeling of watching your money vanish irrevocably? Do you love the idea of being a victim?
Come on; you know you want to.