What you don't know about bitcoin...

[deepceleron]

Bitcoin is actually the biggest password-cracking operation in the world. Project "satoshi" is it's NSA name. For just a few million dollars offered in "reward" to keep the "market value" up, the government can now crack just about any password in minutes, thanks to your help in creating a 125,000 teraFLOP-equivalent distributed machine!

Don't believe me? Current SHA password hashing takes about 1400 instruction cycles, significantly more complex than md5.

There are 92 characters that can be typed on the American keyboard, of those about 70 are common (26+26+10+about 8 punctuations). That's 70^11 combos for an 11 digit long password, and we generally solve it hashing less than 50% of the key space even if you make it complete gibberish. That's around 100,000,000,000,000,000,000 hashes we have to calculate to solve 11 digit long passwords. 140,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 compute cycles on average for the most complex non-dictionary attackable passwords.

Bitcoin offers 125 exaflops processing power, specifically optimized for solving hashes. That makes the maximum-complexity non-dictionary random-character 11 digit password crackable in 14 days, 10 digit passwords in four hours. Attacking first with limited character set rules and dictionary words makes most passwords about 0.001% that complex. 13 digit passwords are also solvable 50% of the time by adding "69" to the end, you perverts. BTW each of you are assigned a few dictionary words the mining software randomly scrapes from your hard drive's documents or clear text in binaries. The hash of that is called your 'wallet'.

Please keep doubling the processing power every month for the government. Setec Astronomy.

edit: duh, of course this is a joke, notice the last paragraph gets more silly, but it is also interesting philosophically how money makes so many people come together and dedicate computing resources to solving a non-problem.

[CAFxX]

...

[PseudoCode]

Bitcoin is awesome !

I have not seen such a concentrated collection of idiots, cranks, nutters and paranoid conspiracy theory-ists in one spot since the last time I picked up a survivalist magazine.

The fact that it offers such a powerful magnet for these types of brain-farters to oppose gives me great confidence that it really does have the possibility of making a big improvement in the world -

That is, as long as the Illuminati don't secretly abduct the development team, Genetically alter their DNA turning them into Zombie Lizard Slaves so they can activate the hidden backdoors, and then use the carrier frequency of the synchronised hashing network to transmit a signal to their alien masters signalling that the world is ripe for Xenu to come and raise the faithful to another dimension with free virgins whilst the Infidels burn in a world full of Flaming ATI Heatsinks !!

OP:   Find out what "Open source" means...  Learn to read the code, and then come back with your stupid troll theories.. until then, put your diaper back on your head.. your mouth is leaking..

 

[Gabi]

Posting in an epic thread

[Sannyasi]

just posting

[Stupidpal]

Wow.

[dykast]

Selling Tinfoil Hats for 1BTC!

[davout]

Bitcoin is actually the biggest password-cracking operation in the world. Project "satoshi" is it's NSA name. For just a few million dollars offered in "reward" to keep the "market value" up, the government can now crack just about any password in minutes, thanks to your help in creating a 125,000 teraFLOP-equivalent distributed machine!

[...]

Please keep doubling the processing power every month for the government. Setec Astronomy.

Who whitelisted you ? xD

[jdebunt]

just...wow....amazing conspiracy theory, it's always a possibility but i wouldn't count on it

even if it is....none of my pw's is worth cracking atm....and atleast we're earning some small cash

[aggietallboy]

Bitcoin is actually the biggest password-cracking operation in the world. Project "satoshi" is it's NSA name. For just a few million dollars offered in "reward" to keep the "market value" up, the government can now crack just about any password in minutes, thanks to your help in creating a 125,000 teraFLOP-equivalent distributed machine!

[...]

Please keep doubling the processing power every month for the government. Setec Astronomy.

Meh... as long as we keep getting paid I can live with that

[chungy]

just...wow....amazing conspiracy theory, it's always a possibility but i wouldn't count on it

Not a possibility when we know well exactly what's being hashed

Still, I had a good laugh.

[Opsamk]

So we are also helping decrypt Osama's harddrives? COOL.

[Grouver (BtcBalance)]

Vote:
1) CERN had extra money to set this up to get more computing power to find the Higgs Boson particle.
2) We are calculating Elvis Presley  back into the world.
3) Bitcoin is a giant Botnet.
4) Bitcoin is a evil plan from some funds. In a few months all wallets get emptied and donated to charity.
5) Skynet is taking over our money supply.

[bitfreak!]

Being open source, I think someone would have noticed if the Bitcoin software was programmed to scrape our HDD's for info.

I always did wonder about the enormity of the hashing power generated by Bitcoin though. It could be used to achieve awesome feats even if only a portion of the total hashing power could be periodically siphoned off.

[Veonik]

This would actually be pretty cool and is something I've talked with some friends about. They're usually pretty tinfoil about this kind of stuff.

Also, per Grouver's vote. I am going with #5. Skynet is online 

[mattboston]

Selling Tinfoil Hats for 1BTC!

Oooh I'll buy two.  One for me and one for my wallet 

[Vam]

Amazing. So when bitcoin topples the government's currencies then what?

Btw, we never went to the moon.

[Shonuff]

No More Secrets. 

[BkkCoins]

Actually I was on the marketing team at ATI when they came up with this idea. We gave Satoshi heaps of free options for allowing changes to his white paper and then we pushed into the right hands. Every time the difficulty doubles we're ready with the next GPU gen. It's been wicked fun.

[BombaUcigasa]