Bitmit promotion: FREE potato

[Global BTC]

OK, I'm joking. There's no such thing as a free potato in this thread. However, as I just listed this awesome Potato clock kit on Bitmit, I'm giving one away for FREE!

If you want the kit, here's what you gotta do: Make up a joke about potatoes. Post it in this thread. I will select the winner from all submitted jokes.

Rules:

• You can enter as many jokes as you like, but please be original and come up with your own joke.
• Jokes are limited to a maximum of 16384 characters per joke.
• There will only be one winner.
• I select the winner.
• The winner is selected when 24 hours has passed since the last joke was posted.
• The kit is shipped to the winner free of charge (within reasonable limits, don't be a jerk and request to have the prize shipped to some weird location).
• I have the right to disqualify contestants for any reason. I don't even have to specify a reason.
• I reserve the right to use any of the posted jokes in my promotional material.

By the way, if you wanted to power a Block Erupter USB ASIC miner like this, you would need approximately 7000 large potatoes.

[mc_lovin]

By the way, if you wanted to power a Block Erupter USB ASIC miner like this, you would need approximately 7000 large potatoes.

Talk about HASH browns!

</ba dum tss>

[ironcross360]

Load up all em black taters into the back of the truck!

[danieldaniel]

Bitmit is Conductive to success.

Get it?  Like conducive, except conductive! 

[Xqisit]

By the way, if you wanted to power a Block Erupter USB ASIC miner like this, you would need approximately 7000 large potatoes.

Talk about HASH browns!

</ba dum tss>

Winner 

[bennett616]

Q: Why do potatoes make good detectives? A: Because they keep their eyes peeled.

Q: What do you call a stolen yam? A: A hot potato.

Q: What do you call a person who spends a lot of time sitting and peering into their garden? A: "Medi Tators."

Q: What do you call a potato that is never motivated, but are content to watch others? A: "Speck Tators"!

Q: Why shouldn't you tell a secret on a farm? A: Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.

Q: How do you describe an angry potato? A: Boiling Mad.

Q: What do you call a baby potato? A: A small fry!

Q: What do you say to an angry baked potato? A: Anything, just butter him up.

Q: What does a British potato say about a sunny day? A: It’s mashing!

Q: Why did the potato cross the road? A: He saw a fork up ahead.

Two potatos;
One day two potatos, who were best friends, were walking together down the street. They stepped off the curb and a speeding car came around the corner and ran one of them over. The uninjured potato called 911 and helped his injured friend as best he was able. The injured potato was taken to emergency at the hospital and rushed into surgery. After a long and agonizing wait, the doctor finally appeared. He told the uninjured potato, "I have good news, and I have bad news. The good news is that your friend is going to pull through." "The bad news is that he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life".

Potato, Potato, & Penis;
A potato, a Potato and a penis were talking about their awful lives. The potato said my life sucks, when i get big and fat they cut me up and cook me. The Potato said when I get big and fat they cover me in vinegar & throw me in a jar. The penis said, when I get big and fat they pull a plastic bag over my head, stick me in a dark, damp room and bang my head against the wall till I throw up and pass out!

Doctors Office;
 A guy walks into the doctor's office. A banana stuck in one of his ears, a potato in the other ear, and a carrot stuck in one nostril. The man says, "Doc, this is terrible. What's wrong with me?" The doctor says, "Well, first of all, you need to eat more sensibly."

Im here all week (copy and pasting) ;P

Andy B

[Global BTC]

By the way, if you wanted to power a Block Erupter USB ASIC miner like this, you would need approximately 7000 large potatoes.

Talk about HASH browns!

</ba dum tss>

Congratulations mc_lovin, you are the winner! PM me with your name and address and I will send you the prize.

[deepceleron]

I'm late...

What's the difference between a potato clock and the internet? The potato clock is a series of tubers.

[Arcas]

Is the potato included, or do I have to provide my own potato?

If so, will any potato work?

[Welsh]

Yeah, I just saw these on amazon and was like wtf? Anyway it's a interesting concept

[Inglewood]

Q: Why do potatoes make good detectives? A: Because they keep their eyes peeled.

Q: What do you call a stolen yam? A: A hot potato.

Q: What do you call a person who spends a lot of time sitting and peering into their garden? A: "Medi Tators."

Q: What do you call a potato that is never motivated, but are content to watch others? A: "Speck Tators"!

Q: Why shouldn't you tell a secret on a farm? A: Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.

Q: How do you describe an angry potato? A: Boiling Mad.

Q: What do you call a baby potato? A: A small fry!

Q: What do you say to an angry baked potato? A: Anything, just butter him up.

Q: What does a British potato say about a sunny day? A: It’s mashing!

Q: Why did the potato cross the road? A: He saw a fork up ahead.

Two potatos;
One day two potatos, who were best friends, were walking together down the street. They stepped off the curb and a speeding car came around the corner and ran one of them over. The uninjured potato called 911 and helped his injured friend as best he was able. The injured potato was taken to emergency at the hospital and rushed into surgery. After a long and agonizing wait, the doctor finally appeared. He told the uninjured potato, "I have good news, and I have bad news. The good news is that your friend is going to pull through." "The bad news is that he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life".

Potato, Potato, & Penis;
A potato, a Potato and a penis were talking about their awful lives. The potato said my life sucks, when i get big and fat they cut me up and cook me. The Potato said when I get big and fat they cover me in vinegar & throw me in a jar. The penis said, when I get big and fat they pull a plastic bag over my head, stick me in a dark, damp room and bang my head against the wall till I throw up and pass out!

Doctors Office;
 A guy walks into the doctor's office. A banana stuck in one of his ears, a potato in the other ear, and a carrot stuck in one nostril. The man says, "Doc, this is terrible. What's wrong with me?" The doctor says, "Well, first of all, you need to eat more sensibly."

Im here all week (copy and pasting) ;P

Andy B

Must take some real hardcore skillz to copy-paste like that

[ironcross360]

How many mexicans does it take to finsh eating 1 potato? 0.5

[thaayb]

Girl (to boy) : Say something no other boy ever said to me <3!
Boy (to girl) : potatoe.

[jdebunt]

So a French potato walks to an American potato and says "pomme, pomme, pomme..."

[thaayb]

Some sentences do not end like you potatoe.