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Author Topic: I Just Need To Get It Out  (Read 3260 times)
FinShaggy (OP)
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June 20, 2013, 11:32:58 PM
Last edit: June 28, 2013, 04:45:32 PM by FinShaggy
 #1

I would talk about this to a family member, but they wouldn't listen even if I tried.
This is a link to the first video I ever made when my brother died.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MqH2TBEg0PI

And to top it off:
https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?topic=239694.0

I went to Doctor Louis B. Kasunic in Castle Rock today because I have been throwing up for the past few months. When I got to the office all of the nurses treated me well. I even misplaced my phone, and all of the nurses helped me look for it and even learned my name, and were pleasantly asking "Did you find your phone yet?". Eventually one of the nurses found it so they brought it to me, and gave it to me.

I sat in the Doctors office for a short period and while I was waiting I moved his skeleton into a captain Morgan stance, using a radio in the room to prop up the leg, and propping one of the hands on the hip bone. The doctor entered and we started talking. He told me that he read I had been throwing up and asked how often. He put an emphasis on "when" the vomiting started. I told him it had been a long time, and there was no way I could really pin point a time. But he insisted that I gave him a specific time, but I told him I couldn't. He was almost angry with me for not picking a specific time and kept pushing sentences like "It was around the beginning of the year, correct?", even after I repeatedly told him there was no way I could know.

He asked if I had heart burn, and I told him I wasn't sure what that was, and he explained it. I had experienced it before, so I told him "yes". He started listing things that I would need to stop drinking like orange juice, soda, etc. And told me that he was going to write a prescription for oxycontin for pain. I told him I did not want a prescription, because I already had a prescription for marijuana because of hip pain I have been experiencing since I was a child. He seemed to get angered when I mentioned that, and it almost felt like he was trying to persuade me to choose oxycontin. He asked in an angry tone "Who prescribed you that?" and I can't remember my Doctors name, so I gave him the name of the place my doctor works. He told me that he had experience with a patient that had been hospitalized due to the vomiting brought on by marijuana smoking, and assured me that oxycontin was a much safer alternative. I told him that cannabis is actually known as an anti-nausea medication, then he literally put his hand in my face and said loudly "You don't tell me", as if to say "I'm the doctor here, you shut your fucking mouth". I replied saying calmly "You can't talk to me like that". And he yelled "We're done here." and opened the door and pointed for me to leave. Then called the police without telling me, and the nurses were nice enough to inform us of that (because they were polite the whole time), so we left.

I did not bring up the topic of marijuana, and it was in no way my goal to persuade him that marijuana was a better medication than anything else. He decided to ask me if I smoked cigarettes, knowing damn well that the chart in his hand said no I don't smoke cigarettes, but I smoke weed. He wanted to pick this fight. And I want to warn the world about his malpractice.

Physicians are not gods, their jobs are to speak with you to find out what is wrong, then work with you to decide how to fix it. I didn't even want to talk about Cannabis or any form of prescription with this Doctor and he not only refused me treatment, but treated me like less than a human being. I would expect someone with a doctors education to be able to handle small talk and discussion, but apparently not.

But I'm sure you can go there with a opiate addiction and some good insurance, and he'd treat you much better than he treated me.

I do not want anyone to do anything bad to this man, he probably makes life bad enough for himself, or else he wouldn't have to put his hands in his patients faces like an angry teenage girl.

But if you would like to leave a simple prank phone call, or send a fax, send me a PM and I will give you his information. I really want to waste a lot of this guys time over the next few months, unless he wants to apologize, or give me back my co-pay (that's not the whole point, it's just the principle of the matter. He owes me reparations of some kind after treating me that way).

The information I think I am allowed to give on Bitcointalk is this (please tell me if I am allowed to add phone number and address)

Dr. Louis B. Kasunic: Board Certified Family Physician (Not for long)
Castle Rock, Colorado
Castle Rock Family Physicians

If you are ever bored one day, look them up and send a fax, or set up an appointment, or just ask if his refrigerator is running. And I'm not positive, but from what I could tell he seemed like the kind of Doctor that hands out prescriptions like candy. That's not my cup of tea, so I'm not going to try to find out if he is. But if he wasn't coming down on some kind of drug, then I don't know what was making him treat me that way.

And to anyone who reads this and thinks "Well, he's a doctor and it's his office, he has that right".

YES he has the right to refuse me service
YES he has the right to deny me marijuana (which I never asked for, I'm just letting you know his rights)

But he does NOT have the right to put his hand in his face and yell at me
He does NOT have the right to charge me for medical services, when he treated me worse than a vet does a dog
He does NOT have the right to use my paid appointment as a stage for arguing about something he doesn't like
He does NOT have the right to raise his voice to any patient
And he is SUPPOSED to be a family physician. That title needs to be revoked.

If a patient gets angry and yells, or even put a hand in the doctors face, or even shoved the doctor (which I didn't do), that is understandable, as some doctors do not like to work with patients and that is frustrating.

But for a man that has been educated in not only the human body, but how to treat that body like a living important thing, to act like that is just ridiculous. He went to school for this stuff, he should be able to handle a discussion about it without it becoming a heated debate, let alone crazy outburst like the display he showed me.

A doctor is supposed to speak WITH you and learn what is wrong, then WORK with you to figure out what is best for your problem.

He is not a doctor, he is a control freak. And if he were a surgeon, I bet he would play god and kill people "on accident" for fun.


When I was little, my mom used to yell and tell us to shut up or she'd smack our heads through the wind shield.
My dad used to pinch the back of our necks and grab our tendons, like we were misbehaving dogs.
My mom used to run around the house swinging a wooden stick. She would tell us "If I can't hit your butt, I'll hit whatever I can"
I worked for my dad in highschool, and he never fired me, just stopped giving me hours
One time I got stern with my little brother for lying, and was trying to teach him not to. He cried and my mom came and slapped me in the face.
My mom broke a wooden spoon on my sisters ass.
My mom pretends to listen, and says "ok". And when you call her out on it, she laughs. Then does it again as soon as she can.
If my family can't lie their way out of a problem, they blame it on me.
My step dad blames all his failures (so, his life) on me.
My mom told me I was a smart kid about a month ago, and I almost cried because it felt like the only reason she would say that is to make fun of me.
My mom pretends I'm distant, but it's because she wants me to go away.
Have you ever met a person that no matter what you say to them, they take it as an insult? That's how my mom is with me.
My sister wants me to love her, but wants to be a bitch to me.
I have seen my mother literally hold a girl my age by the shoulders and yell "You're a bitch" and have them yell back "I'm a bitch".
I've had to keep my mom from walking down to the neighbors house with a baseball bat because she stole a waiters number. And they are both married women.
I have had to protect my little brother from being dragged out of the house by my angry step dad.
I have been persecuted for asking for the courtesy of a text when my family decides to stand me up and leave me waiting alone.
I am talked about behind my back constantly
When I was a child I would spy on my parents drinking and blaming their financial problems on me
My step dad has to my face apologized twice for being an ass hole and said he would never do it again, yet he refuses to acknowledge me when I attempt to discuss a charity he asked me to start.
My family thinks I'm gay, not matter how much I let them know I'm not

This has been part one of the poem, more to come



If everyone is thinking outside the box, there is a new box.
FinShaggy (OP)
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June 21, 2013, 02:13:30 AM
 #2

My brother died 2 weeks ago.
I could have saved him, because I knew what to do, but my family didn't and I wasn't there.
I have been in and out of jail since I was 14 for nothing more than simple marijuana smoking and possession (I lived in the richest county in Texas, and their money comes from the judicial system).
I am treated like a "mad scientist" even by my own family, because I enjoy herbology and creating my own extractions. Even though my family uses the same ones, they just buy them pre made.
I've never had more than $900 in my life because banks don't give loans to kids, or really anyone any more. And I can't get a job with my history, in this economy.
My parents got a divorce when I was 5.
My step mom told me that I can never even ask her to buy me underwear.
My step dad makes plenty of money (oil and gas man), and knows how the economy is, and pays for all his other kids to go to college, but I have to struggle to get YouTube checks while I apply for jobs all over Denver.
My little brother who died is the only one who would have loved to do what I have planned. I have plans for anyone in my family who wishes to be involved in my life, but he had the most potential, and now he is dead.
I taught both of my little brothers how to walk, and now one of them is dead.
I feel like I lost a child that was mine.

If everyone is thinking outside the box, there is a new box.
laughingbear
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June 21, 2013, 02:20:14 AM
 #3

FinShaggy (OP)
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June 21, 2013, 02:22:55 AM
 #4

I went to college when I was 16, but I found someone willing to give me a ride for a smoke out and some gas, so I ran away from home and was thrown back into high school.
I graduated highschool (with a full diploma and all my credits) from a juvenile detention center.
I don't really get hungry any more, I just feel like smoking weed.
I know I am going to spend at least 2 years, if not much much more, of my life in jail, not because I am an immoral person (and I am not), but because we live in a country where "equality" means "You can be free as long as you act like everyone else".
My whole life I was a lone child, being handled, challenged, hunted, captured and persecuted by entire organizations, both judicial and executive. They trained me to be a legal mind.
I spent more time in jail than in highschool for the 3 years I got to be in highschool.
I don't drink much anymore (just socially), because I did all my drinking when I was 15-16. I even had to go to AA, and all we did there was find people to drink with.
I had a probation officer tell me: "I don't want you in Mckinney, I don't want you in Denton, I don't want you in Texas, I don't want you in Mexico... I want you in jail."
I feel as if marijuana is my father. It has put me in situations and taught me more about the world than any male role model.
I have had a gun in my face, simply for asking for weed in the wrong neighborhood. They even stole the car.
I have had a gun in my face because my friend had trusted someone he had known since kindergarten. Showed him where we hid our weed, and he brought a big Mexican to come pull a gun, get us on the ground and grab it.
 

If everyone is thinking outside the box, there is a new box.
FinShaggy (OP)
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June 21, 2013, 02:24:36 AM
 #5

I am constantly trolled, not matter what website I go to.

If everyone is thinking outside the box, there is a new box.
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June 21, 2013, 02:25:21 AM
 #6

FinShaggy, don't smoke weed. Ever.
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June 21, 2013, 02:25:57 AM
 #7

* FinShaggy  picks up a joint, and says "fuck you"
FinShaggy (OP)
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June 21, 2013, 02:26:09 AM
 #8

How is spending more time in jail than highscool a first world problem?

If everyone is thinking outside the box, there is a new box.
justusranvier
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June 21, 2013, 06:09:14 AM
 #9

I am constantly trolled, not matter what website I go to.
Ignore the trolls and try going here.
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June 21, 2013, 06:13:36 AM
 #10

How is spending more time in jail than highscool a first world problem?

Some kids would kill to spend time in a place where they 3 square meals a day housing, "recess" and electricity. American jail is and 3rd world child's dream.

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June 21, 2013, 06:21:14 AM
 #11

I am constantly trolled, not matter what website I go to.

you could try and go to www.wewanttohearyoucryaboutyourshittylife.com  they have some great forums there.  Try focusing your pity parties at places where people gather to talk about that sort of thing.  Try some emo forums, and the like.  Another option is to grow the fuck up and do your drugs like like everyone else, in private and moderation. Quit being so over dramatic ffs.
FinShaggy (OP)
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June 21, 2013, 10:13:56 AM
 #12

How is spending more time in jail than highscool a first world problem?

Some kids would kill to spend time in a place where they 3 square meals a day housing, "recess" and electricity. American jail is and 3rd world child's dream.

Lol, thank you for your assumptions. But I have been to Mexico and have spoken to people from around the world, as well as spent time in American jail with Spanish speaking, non-Americans. They do not "dream" of going to jail. And you are a shit head for believing that.

If everyone is thinking outside the box, there is a new box.
FinShaggy (OP)
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June 21, 2013, 10:14:25 AM
 #13

I am constantly trolled, not matter what website I go to.

you could try and go to www.wewanttohearyoucryaboutyourshittylife.com  they have some great forums there.  Try focusing your pity parties at places where people gather to talk about that sort of thing.  Try some emo forums, and the like.  Another option is to grow the fuck up and do your drugs like like everyone else, in private and moderation. Quit being so over dramatic ffs.

I don't want to focus on it. I just needed to say it.

If everyone is thinking outside the box, there is a new box.
FinShaggy (OP)
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June 21, 2013, 11:44:53 PM
 #14

I think my sister is socially retarded.
She wears fedoras, purple pants, lots of stripes & thick rimmed glasses, then says she is not a hipster.

She thinks that confusing fried chicken for friend rice is a typo, a typo is when you press the wrong key.
She thinks stopping to smell the roses is stalling the marijuana session and bringing everyone's attention to her broken ipod, when "stopping to smell the roses" almost literally translates into smoking weed.
Her best friend openly lets her know that his best friend is another girl.
She treats me like shit, even though I am going to have to support her most of her adult life, unless my parents are vampires and live to be 120.
If she doesn't understand something, she will pretend it is stupid instead of her being stupid.
Everything is about finances to her, yet she hardley makes any money.
She can't listen to someone for longer than 2 minutes, unless it is shit talk about another person.
She thinks shit talking family members is nothing more than a pass time.
She spied on me my whole childhood. Her ankle pops, so you can hear her sneak. And she would spy on me watching TV and stuff.
Whenever my parents sent me away, she lashed out at them and acted like she wanted me back. But when I got back she acted like I owed her something, and like I was beneath her.
She has had money her whole life, but has nothing to show for it.
No one knows who she is, except some guys online that jack off too pictures of her.

I love her, but she is hateful. And I'm not going to sit here and lie while I love her.

If everyone is thinking outside the box, there is a new box.
FinShaggy (OP)
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June 21, 2013, 11:57:03 PM
 #15

My step-dad is everything bad about humanity.

He is an oil an gas geologist/engineer. So he's the guy that figures out where the oil "should" be, then decides which equipment to use to rape the Earth.

So when you see a giant scar on the side of a mountain from strip mining, you can thank my step dad for fucking up your planet.

And I shared that to share this. He's a devout Christian (if you can call someone who treats people like shit for being poor a "devout christian"), yet he rapes the planet.
I'm pretty sure there is a special spot in hell for people like Douglas Ryan Wight. A special ring in hell where fire is used to excavate the resources from his human flesh. Then needles, sharp metal tubes and hooks are used to acquire the fresh veins and tendons, and the brain lungs and eyes are left for last. Just so that they are alive long enough to feel as the cornea is shoved onto satans double forked dick.

This man killed my brother and hasn't even asked for forgiveness. He should at least be on his knees, begging for the rest of the family not to throw him in jail, or impale him on a stave in the front yard. It makes me sick that the thought of forgiveness hasn't even crossed his mind.

I forgave him. Sure I have resentment, and remembrance. But I live on and treat him like a human. I just can't believe he hasn't even tried to ask for forgiveness.

And since my little brother had allergies, I feel as if my step dad is just chalking it up to "It would have happened any ways". So I hope he has fun in his special circle of hell where people go when they rape the earth and kill their own children without remorse.

If everyone is thinking outside the box, there is a new box.
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June 22, 2013, 12:04:31 AM
 #16

holy shit!

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June 22, 2013, 12:06:31 AM
 #17

I figure that you keep posting this shit here, because you want help with all this. I think I can do this for you.  I have copied all this, and will be sending it all to your family members that I can find on facebook.(8 or 9 of them that I can find directly related to you)  This will open a dialogue between all of you, and maybe you can work things out.

You are welcome.
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June 22, 2013, 12:06:42 AM
 #18

Ummm your little bro died?  Shocked


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FinShaggy (OP)
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June 22, 2013, 12:11:28 AM
 #19

I figure that you keep posting this shit here, because you want help with all this. I think I can do this for you.  I have copied all this, and will be sending it all to your family members that I can find on facebook.(8 or 9 of them that I can find directly related to you)  This will open a dialogue between all of you, and maybe you can work things out.

You are welcome.

Great, as if I haven't tried talking to my own family. Thanks for opening a can of bullshit.

If everyone is thinking outside the box, there is a new box.
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June 22, 2013, 12:15:03 AM
 #20

I have copied all this, and will be sending it all to your family members that I can find on facebook.

Honestly, I think sending it to MTV would do us more good than that.

If everyone is thinking outside the box, there is a new box.
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