i used the optimal fees
No. You did not.
You paid a fee of only 0.
00000005 BTC per byte.
A reasonable fee for fast confirmation according to this website:
https://bitcoinfees.earn.com/is: 0.
00000490 BTC per byte.
If your wallet told you that your fee was "optimal", then your wallet lied to you. Perhaps you should consider using a better wallet in the future.
Im very disappointed with how the network works.
Perhaps you should be very disappointed in your choice of bitcoin wallet. The network is working exactly as intended.
Can somebody help me with the transaction?
Are you willing to put in some effort to replace the transaction with a higher fee transaction?
Do you have access to the address 164ik4XJcfzEeuRj7hTFoZDFAujTgaiHHg? And are you willing to put in some effort to create a CPFP transaction?
Are you willing to pay a miner a separate extra fee to get the existing transaction confirmed?