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Author Topic: How do you deal with grief?  (Read 525 times)
Jaxkr
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July 25, 2013, 05:10:56 AM
 #1

My grandmother passed away a few days ago. I'm having trouble accepting it and the entire situation is really bumming me out.
What do you guys recommend in these situations?
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Kluge
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July 25, 2013, 05:31:48 AM
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Try to hold it in for 30-60m.

Cry for 2h-4h. Usually end up having someone "comfort" me with "herp-a-derp, I'm sure he's lookin' down on you as a sky-fairy," and I'll spit back "Fucking classy, turning my X's death into your fucking man-in-the-sky joke."

Sigh, "whatever" for 60-180D. Usually deflect and can become suddenly grouchy about unrelated events during this time.

At some point after 2 months, I'll suddenly take the second wave of grief.

Then it's off my chest. If there are compounding major difficulties, that 60-180D can be multiplied by the number of compounding issues, and I can be in a grouchy funk for years.

Just takes time.

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July 25, 2013, 05:41:31 AM
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Just takes time.

Yes. When my brother died I thought of nothing else for a month. After a year the hurt was fading. After 10 years there is a just a shadow of sadness in the background, and life continues...

Jaxkr
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July 25, 2013, 05:48:40 AM
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I'll try your suggestions. Thank you. Smiley
John (John K.)
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July 25, 2013, 09:28:10 AM
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Exercise, get busy with something you like, try volunteering....

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July 25, 2013, 11:09:11 AM
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It was hard to change my view about death, but I think it's not something anyone should fear or be sad about. Everything in the Universe are destined to die. planets, suns and even black holes. I don't look at it as a negative event, more so the only granted thing everyone is going to "experience" sooner or later.

I think that the common stance of religions about death is as false as any other ideas they represent. Having said that, I don't believe in afterlife or in any spiritual nonsense.
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July 25, 2013, 03:26:26 PM
 #7

It depend how deep your link was with that person.

In some rare case, time and getting busy will do nothing to release the pain.

PS : don't take it bad, PM if you want some alternative advices.

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July 25, 2013, 04:00:22 PM
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Whenever I have to deal with grief, I just try to occupy myself with something else and then it usually goes away after a while of doing this
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July 25, 2013, 04:40:17 PM
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Time.

Sure, do stuff that interests you, but that only offers temporary distractions. Also, spending time with other people helps, but don't seek sympathy from them, as they will often as not say empty things that offer no value.

In the end, it's time.
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July 26, 2013, 01:01:11 AM
 #10

First sorry to hear about your grandmother that stuff is tough. Just hang in there things do get better!  Smiley
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July 26, 2013, 03:18:54 AM
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Hookers and Blow? j/k

Time, it's a powerful healer, and honestly don't do anything stupid like look to a substance to help you.
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July 26, 2013, 07:27:36 AM
 #12

Take your time. Let grief happen. Do not fight your feelings.

However, do not over-idealize the person that passed away.


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