Bitcoin is doomed. Please please tell me why it’s not
Bitcoin is not doomed because bitcoin is not destined to be a currency.
Bitcoin is destined to be an asset class, an investment, a store of value. Such a thing doesn't require nearly zero transaction fees or "lightning" fast transactions. Clearing a transaction within a few hours is plenty fast for an asset class and beats the alternative in today's world by 3 days or so, which is how long it takes (at minimum) to turn any investment into cash.
Bitcoin hasn't been suited to be a currency for a long time. A currency can't have a wildly fluctuating valuation, and that characteristic of Bitcoin is years old.
I appreciate you accepting Bitcoin for your business - thank you! You're helping spread the adoption we need. Bitcoin doesn't have to be some foreign thing for people, we just need to do more talking about it among our communities.