im being charged 0.00398 to move my coins!?
You are mistaken. You are voluntarily offering to pay 0.00398 BTC to move your bitcoins. You made this choice either by setting a fee yourself, or by choosing a wallet and letting it set a fee for you.
what the hell?
I don't understand the question.
this is ridiculous!
No. This is Capitalism.
Bitcoins are valuable because there is a limited amount of them and there is a high demand for control over them.
Block space is ALSO valuable because there is a limited amount of it and there is a high demand for control over it.
Supply and Demand. That's the way the market works. You can offer to pay less and wait for someone to accept your offer, or you can offer to pay more in order to create an incentive for someone to accept your offer sooner.
that's $59 just to move my coins?
At the current exchange rate? If you choose to pay a 0.00398 fee? That sounds about right.