Zoographical list of troll types.

[billyjoeallen]

The Forum has become a menagerie.


Market timing trolls:

market's up troll: Don't buy because the price is too high
market's down troll: Don't buy because it's going even lower
market's sideways troll: stagnation is prelude to a crash
market's crashing troll: don't buy because it's going to zero
market's rocketing up troll : BUBBLE!!!

equivocating troll:
an exchange vulnerability is the same thing as a block chain vulnerability
bitcoin is the same as eGold or Beenz
bitcoin is the same as IMF SDR
bitcoin is the same as PayPal/Dwolla/Liberty Reserve
bitcoin is the same as national fiat currency
bitcoin is the same as a pyramid/ponzi scheme

Security troll:
exchange operators never learn anything. You can never trust a site again after it's been hacked.
software never gets more secure when updated
somebody might someday build a super quantum computer capable of breaking the encryption algorithm and Bitcoin is the first place they'll strike.

Econogeek troll:
Bitcoin is doomed to fail because it violates the known principles of
-neoclassical economics
-Keynesian economics
-Marxist economics
-Monetarist economics
-Austrian economics

Popularity contest troll:
Over 6.5 BILLION people don't use Bitcoin. They must know something we don't.

Armchair lawyer troll:
There are no laws explicitly permitting the use of Bitcoin, therefor it is illegal, soon to become even more illegal.

Moralizing troll:
like everything else that can possibly be used to do bad things, Bitcoin should be banned.

Stupid troll:
I don't understand it, therefor it's too complicated and will  never work

Smart troll:
It's too simple, therefor it will never work

Achilles Heel Trolls:
-it is too dependent on one dominant exchange and one group of developers
-it's too decentralized
-it's too volatile
-speculators make unearned profits when they reduce volatility
-early adopters make all the big profits
-I don't want to adopt until it's proven to work

Add to the list!

[Gabriel Beal]

I was reading the comments on the weusecoins youtube video yesterday.  A lot of people were like "I have a 200 IQ, and I can tell you for certain that bitcoin will never work."
What kind of troll would that be?

[evoorhees]

Run Before You Walk Troll:
I can't fill my car with gasoline so Bitcoin is useless
I can't buy tampons at Walmart so Bitcoin is useless
I'm not able to pay rent so Bitcoin is useless
I can't have sex with a Bitcoin so Bitcoin is useless

[jgraham]

I-left-my-argument-in-my-other-pair-of-pants troll:"You are wrong.  I wont' tell you why unless you read X books and/or watch Y videos."

[FreddyFender]

You forgot Dragons and Uruk-hai, paid professionals that target Bitcoin forums during times of duress.
Dragons have superior intellect training par excellence to guide trolling masses towards legitimate threads and long-time posters with the sole aim of distracting from proper posting. Uruk-hai are infiltrators that lay dormant until the dragons attack and do pile-ons and violent responses with endless thread production and support gibberish for dragon threads.
Or I could be completely wrong.

http://slightlyoffended.blogspot.com/

[kjj]

How about the I have 5 posts and I'm the first person to notice that all of you are wrong about design decision X troll?

Or the No one will ever accept deflation (because I got here too late to get a pile of coins when it was still easy) troll.  But this is really one type of known troll in disguise as a different type.

[Littleshop]

I was reading the comments on the weusecoins youtube video yesterday.  A lot of people were like "I have a 200 IQ, and I can tell you for certain that bitcoin will never work."
What kind of troll would that be?

They are lying about their IQ.   

[foggyb]

How about:

TROLL THAT ANNOUNCES INSIDE KNOWLEDGE (BUT CAN"T NAME SPECIFICS) OF IMPENDING DOOM THAT WILL KILL BITCOIN DEADER THAN DOORNAIL.

IN ALL CAPS.

[wumpus]

I'm laughing out loud here, great and fairly complete analysis of the weird animals we have here in the community zoo

I can't have sex with a Bitcoin so Bitcoin is useless

A related one is "there are not enough women on the bitcoin forums so bitcoin will never be adopted!".

[Tronlet]

I can't have sex with a Bitcoin so Bitcoin is useless

This is actually a very easy design flaw to fix, cut a hole in your bitcoin, add a little lubricant...

[YoYa]

The Forum has become a menagerie.


Market timing trolls:

market's up troll: Don't buy because the price is too high
market's down troll: Don't buy because it's going even lower
market's sideways troll: stagnation is prelude to a crash
market's crashing troll: don't buy because it's going to zero
market's rocketing up troll : BUBBLE!!!

That's me alright! :p

[Nescio]

Guess how popular this is going to be You forgot:

trader troll: it's only going up up up baby! BUY BUY BUY (so I can make my cash out target)
statistics troll: technical analysis of this tea leaf pattern predicts it's going up/down/sideways/nuclear!
miner troll: another 400 gamers stopped playing Farmville, and everybody knows price follows difficulty!
early adopter troll: we are the new elite my friends, I predict BTC to go to $10,000 by next week!

[Nescio]

Oh, and the obligatory rick roll troll, of course.

Not to mention the bump troll, teehee.

[error]

Can I use this as a reference guide for moderating the forum?

[grndzero]

Can I use this as a reference guide for moderating the forum?

At the least I'm going to bookmark it and start classifying also.

Pure economics is boring. This would add a whole new sociology dynamic to the forums. We need a forum mod to rate the troll level and specificity of posts.

[grndzero]

I was reading the comments on the weusecoins youtube video yesterday.  A lot of people were like "I have a 200 IQ, and I can tell you for certain that bitcoin will never work."
What kind of troll would that be?

The ever dangerous Arrogant/Stupid Troll Hybrid.

[TraderTimm]

Security Troll: (addition)

The "I knew I had a virus on my machine but my wallet got stolen, wah, wah, waaaaaah" troll. Very closely related to the "Hey guys, I lost an (unprovable amount, just points to the blockchain) and I should get donations to get it back" troll.

It amuses me that they think we can't see through their hucksterism.

[grndzero]

You forgot the Paranoid/Conspiracy Troll
-Never believes any proof put forth, Always believes they have the correct answer no matter how wild the claim.
-Anytime a pool or market goes down for the slightest bit of time it MUST be due to a Government Agency making a move on it

[Nescio]

Journo troll: writes hit piece from premade conlusion and headline to make Bitcoin look bad (not posting on this forum though)

[xane]

I cant believe this one was overlooked!

ROI Troll
I can't spend x dollars on a video card and make x*2 dollars back in 24 hours so mining is pointless.