Send Someone to Heaven/Hell for BTC!!!

[the joint]

If anyone is interested, I will sincerely pray for any person of your choosing to be sent to Hell when they die.  For just a little BTC, your arch enemy (unbeknownst to them!) will be that much closer to infinite despair.  At a rate of .01BTC/1 minute, your rat-bastard stepfather, ugly cousin, loose ex-girlfriend, etc. will be overcome by a karmic shockwave of doom created by yours truly.

Conversely, I will sincerely pray for any person of your choosing to be sent to Heaven when they die.  Because focusing on love requires deeper and more advanced concentration, the going rate is .05BTC/1 minute.  How about it?  Why go to church when you can give charity right here, right now?  Imagine your beloved grandmother whimsically whistling "On the Sunny Side of the Street" while perched high atop the clouds.  Picture your significant other hanging poolside with Jesus and the gang.  Get them in while the going's good; more exclusive than any Facebook group imaginable!

So what are you waiting for?!  All services provided are insured by universal syntax...Nothing to lose!  Simply send BTC to the following address, post or PM the name and description of the unlucky/lucky lad or lady,  and let karma run its inevitable course. 

1HMYFJ2dDdUGHdFzmKKYNL13zHxrMPbHQe

[John (John K.)]

LOL. Been some time since I saw this one 

[Anonymous]

I will use your service when someone who has been to heaven or hell reports back to this thread with a review of the service along with proof they have visited   

[the joint]

I will use your service when someone who has been to heaven or hell reports back to this thread with a review of the service along with proof they have visited  

Nice try, but once they're in, they're in :-D  

I don't fudge around.

[Tronlet]

I can verify that I am chilling with Satan right now, THANKS the joint!!!

[the joint]

I can verify that I am chilling with Satan right now, THANKS the joint!!!

A happy customer   Is the weather nice?

[WiseOldOwl]

Pics or GTFO 

[the joint]

Pics or GTFO 

Here.  Tronlet sent me this picture.  I weep at his satisfaction, but deep down he's still suffering 

[Tronlet]

Guys, it's all in the sunscreen.

[opticbit]

I offer similar services,

I do voodoo acupuncture.

[Xunie]

Man, if only I believed in the devil. wasn't an atheist.

Also: are there any Bible/Quran passages against this?

[mimarob]

I'm back!!

They didn't want me in heaven and in hell they where afraid that I would do a take-over..

[the joint]

Man, if only I believed in the devil. wasn't an atheist.

Also: are there any Bible/Quran passages against this?

Well, you could change your nomological definition of god.  Just set truth = god, set illusion = the devil, and you're back in the same ballpark!       Besides, Jesus was a jew.  That's pretty much atheist.  Minus the god part. 

And, since I began this service, camels have been FLYING through the eyes of needles.

[AngelusWebDesign]

I think you've been *smoking* some joints.

[the joint]

I think you've been *smoking* some joints.

Aw get an imagination.

[mc_lovin]

[the joint]

   Just wait till they find out thoughts have mass.

[Xenland]

This thread is soo blashphmies, i dont know of any religion thats states that humans have the power to pray to have the choice to where they go. Oh wait mormans....thats it OP must be morman.

[the joint]

This thread is soo blashphmies, i dont know of any religion thats states that humans have the power to pray to have the choice to where they go. Oh wait mormans....thats it OP must be morman.

When you think, "I want to move my arm," and then you do it, that is a mental thought having influence on physical reality.  Mental stuff affects physical stuff all the time.  It's not blasphemous.  It's logical that thoughts have direct influence on physical reality and vice versa.

In the book, "The Intention Experiment," a professor hooked up a plant to a polygraph machine.  He then had the intention (in the form of a thought) to burn one of the plants leaves.  This caused the plant to register a spike on the polygraph.  This experiment was repeated and tested...the difference was, the plant only registered a spike on the polygraph when the experimenter had true intention (as opposed to false intention -- thinking he was going to burn the plant's leaves but was not actually going to do so).  In a similar experiment, a plant was again hooked up to a polygraph machine.  This time, a machine was put in place that would, at a random time, release a tub of brine shrimp into a vat of boiling water.  Despite the randomness of the release time, the plant registered a spike on the polygraph immediately prior to the machine releasing the brine shrimp.  In other words, it appears as though somehow, the plant was "aware" that the machine was about to release the brine shrimp into a vat of boiling water.

Reality is stranger than fiction 

[AngelusWebDesign]

I think you've been *smoking* some joints.

Aw get an imagination.

If you have an extra, I'll take one in exchange for a sense of humor that I happen to have lying around -- I think you could use one