The Little Red Hen

[Mike Christ]

As told by Reagan, anyway.  Here's a little gem I found; I'd been thinking about the story of the little red hen and couldn't remember what it was about, I'd heard it so long ago.  It seems very much relevant to what's happening to business at the moment.


Once upon a time, there was a little red hen who scratched about the barnyard until she uncovered some grains of wheat.
She called her neighbors and said, "If we plant this wheat, we shall have bread to eat. Who will help me plant it?"
"Not I," said the cow.
"Not I," said the duck.
"Not I," said the pig.
"Not I," said the goose.
"Then I will," said the little red hen, and she did.
The wheat grew tall and ripened into golden grain. "Who will help me reap my wheat?" asked the little red hen.
"Not I," said the duck.
"Out of my classification," said the pig.
"I'd lose my seniority," said the cow.
"I'd lose my unemployment compensation," said the goose.
"Then I will," said the little red hen, and she did.
At last it came time to bake the bread. "Who will help me bake the bread?" asked the little red hen.
"That would be overtime for me," said the cow.
"I'd lose my welfare benefits," said the duck.
"I'm a dropout and never learned how," said the pig.
"If I'm to be the only helper, that's discrimination," said the goose.
"Then I will," said the little red hen.
She baked five loaves and held them up for her neighbors to see. They wanted some and, in fact, demanded a share.
But the little red hen said, "No, I can eat the five loaves."
"Excess profits!" cried the cow.
"Capitalist leech!" screamed the duck.
"I demand equal rights!" yelled the goose.
And the pig just grunted.
And they painted "unfair" picket signs and marched around and around the little red hen, shouting obscenities.
When the government agent came, he said to the little red hen, "You must not be greedy."
"But I earned the bread," said the little red hen.
"Exactly," said the agent. "That is the wonderful free enterprise system. Anyone in the barnyard can earn as much as he wants. But under our modern government regulations, the productive workers must divide their product with the idle."
And they lived happily ever after, including the little red hen, who smiled and clucked, "I am grateful. I am grateful."
But her neighbors wondered why she never again baked any more bread.


Rather, her once neighbors wondered why the little red hen left for a different farm. 

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[b!z]

The hen was re-educated by the government agents. Is that right?

[Mike Christ]

The hen was re-educated by the government agents. Is that right?

The hen wasn't re-educated, exactly; rather, the hen was told, along with all her peers, that what she was doing was wrong and that it was only right for the hen to share her wealth with everybody.  To be re-educated, the hen would have already needed to have been educated one way, and then taught to think another way; depending on how old the hen was, she would've either assume her peers and the government agent was correct, and that she was mistaken to feel that she should keep all the bread she made, and thus would've succumbed to the pressure of her peers, or perhaps (in my scenario, where the hen simply leaves), the hen is a bit older and was raised in a time period where it was okay for her to keep all the bread she made on her own, and did not agree that she should've given up her hard work for her neighbor who refused to work in the more modern time period.  In the former case, the hen is led to believe it is a societal norm to share your wealth, much like apologizing for bumping into someone might or might not be, and in the latter, the hen does not agree with her government and takes her bread-baking elsewhere.  Re-education seems to imply brainwashing occurred, which it might have behind the scenes, I don't know, but if the hen continued to refuse to share her wealth, she would be either punished or she would leave to avoid punishment, so some outside force was dictating her actions, and the government agent would represent the physical form of that entity which would've punished her.  So perhaps, if we think of it this way, the hen would've been re-educated by the government agent, with the threat of future action, but if you can convince a hen to act a different way with just your words, you save a lot on time and energy.

[blablahblah]

Aww, a simple fable about greed, corrupted by political ideology...

Two can play that game.

Once upon a time, there was a little red hen who scratched about the barnyard until she uncovered some grains of wheat.
"Oi! That's my pasture!" said the cow.
"That's funny, I didn't see you eating it. It was lying there in that unused heap. It's called homesteading, baby."
The hen then called out to all her neighbours and said, "If we plant this wheat, we shall have bread to eat. Who will help me plant it?"
"Over my dead body," said the cow.
"Yeah, you took it from the cow," said the duck and the goose in unison.
"I'm with them," said the pig.
"Then I will," said the little red hen, and she did.
The wheat grew tall and ripened into golden grain. "Who will help me reap my wheat?" asked the little red hen.
"Oi! That's my and Goose's field you used for your bread-making enterprise," said the duck.
Actually, the cow normally used most of the field for pasture, but she gladly shared with the duck and the goose. (The dust-bath and the shallow pond were the birds' two favourite areas, and the cow only went to the pond on Fridays.) Now that the grain was all gone, the cow getting pretty hungry.
"Hey, little hen. You took my grain, and you harvested my field. Could you at least give me that leftover hay?
To which the hen replied, "all I can hear is 'mine, mine, mine...' but when it comes to helping actually build something, you won't lift a hoof, so no!"
Again, the duck and the goose sided with the cow.
"I'm staying out of this," murmured the pig.
"Well, if nobody wants to help, then I'll do it myself," said the little red hen, and she did.

At last it came time to bake the bread. "Who will help me bake the bread?" asked the little red hen.
Suddenly, with an almighty thud, the starving cow collapsed and died. Tragically, the duck and the goose were standing too close and were crushed by the falling carcass.
"Tell you what," said the pig. "If you help me get these two birds out from under the cow, I'll help you with the baking."
"That's more like it!" said the hen. So she pecked open the cow with her sharp beak, allowing the pig to pull the duck and the goose out from underneath.
"Thanks," said the pig. "I was getting pretty hungry."
"Now what? You were supposed to help me with the baking." said the hen.
"Of course! Let me just get some matches from the farmer, but I'll need to promise him a share of the bread."
"Just one share?"
"Yeah."
"OK. Promise him, then."
Soon, the pig returned with the matches and they baked the bread over the cow's burning embers.
"Mmmm, smells good!" said the pig.
"Keep sniffing, 'cause that's all you're getting," said the hen.
"Wait, what?!" Exclaimed the pig.
"You promised the farmer some bread, but who promised you?" asked the hen with a genuine look of concern.
"You're making a big mistake -- "
Suddenly, two loud shots crackled across the field, and both animals fell to the ground.
The farmer doused the cow with a fire hydrant, and desperately sprayed water over the hay that was strewn all over the ground.
The End.
 

[Mike Christ]

Did you write that?

[blablahblah]

Did you write that?

Mostly. I left a few sentences the same and didn't bother re-wording them just for the sake of re-wording.

[Mike Christ]

Did you write that?

Mostly. I left a few sentences the same and didn't bother re-wording them just for the sake of re-wording.

Ahh gotcha lol Very good writing, if not depressing and cynical