Captain Jean-Luc Bernanke: Wesley, set course for Zimbabwe. Warp QE-Infinity.
Wesley: Yes, sir.
Bernanke: Engage!
Worf: Captain, sensors detect a Borg vessel approaching. They're gaining, fast! Shields up!
Picard: Hailing frequencies.
BORG VOICE: "We are bitcoin. Resistance is futile. You and your puny currency will be assimilated."
Data: The best option seems to be to initiate regulatory action.
Worf: Captain, I agree with Commander Data. I suggest we fire all phaser banks and all photon torpedoes immediately.
Bernanke: Make it so.
Worf: Captain, their shields simply absorbed all of the hits! The SHA256 encryption modulates the shield's frequency and it will be unable for us to crack! I suggest evasive action.
Captain: *Reminiscent look on face* Ahh, Wesley, initiate the Weimar Republic maneuver. This one will catch them by surprise. Engage!
Wesley: It's having no effect. They're gaining on us! Our currency is devaluing at record speed. But, the DJIA is at record highs! I better buy more Nike while there's still a chance.
Geordi (on com from Engineering): Captain, the printing presses are overheating! The dilithium crystals can't take much more...
nice one!