Looking for a house well outside city limits, but with a cheap and fast method of transport to the inner-city (<1h, <$20 per trip - public transport - short drive to depot is fine). So long as those conditions are met, I don't care how far out it is from the inner-city - but it absolutely can't be in the "city" city. I'm not looking to have my car stolen every other week until I'm shot to death.
NYC area strongly preferred over Chicago (more foreign & financial offices in NYC). Other areas may be considered if there are many Bitcoin users (like Keene, NH), so long as it's within the contiguous US. Certain culturally-affiliated areas (even if we need to learn another language and new cultural rituals) are okay so long as they don't mind a Pollock. However, having a wop deli within 15 miles is absolutely essential.
I'm tired of living out in farmville, but I'd rather not be in an area having me paranoid all the time by traffic and crime (I'm not used to shutting my garage door, locking entry doors, and not keeping keys in my parked cars). Unless shared by socially-maladapted Bitcoin nuts, I'm uninterested in shared living and/or parking space. An attached house MAY be okay, but it'd have to be a great deal.
As far as living space, it needs to have "non-hazardous electrical," solid walls (no trailers or paper-thin modulars), and no foundation issues. Minor electrical and plumbing issues are no problem -- leaky windows, sinks, toilets, water lines or roof, etc. are fine, so long as there is no structural damage - I've never worked with significant water damage, and from what I hear, it's a total bitch. Asbestos and the like are fine, so long as you know I won't be replacing it legally, and I'm not hiring a "master plumber" as required by dumbass city law just to replace a toilet, as if it's humanly possible to fuck that up. I need at least two bedrooms, 1.5 bathrooms (2+ strongly preferred), and a room which can be used as an office. It needs a fairly large kitchen (bigger the sink, the better). A garage of any size is preferred.
Living in an impoverished area (unzoned, non-planned areas preferred) is no issue so long as the neighbors are relatively quiet (or Italian... can't really get around that). I don't like neighbors checking in on me when my house isn't on fire -- we're polite, but generally don't care for neighbors. Examples of areas I'd like to live in if they were in the right location: Youngstown, OH - Erie, PA - South Bend, IN
Rent should be <$850/mo, or if bought out-right, <$100k (& <$4k annually in property taxes <- non-negotiable) - coin or cash ("cash offer" - no mortgage). Lease-to-own would be cool, too (I have BTC debts I'd like to make a bigger dent in rather than paying for a house entirely up-front). If renting, move-in date would be in 3-6 months. If buying, move-in date would be 6-12 months, dependent on us selling current property. Insofar as that, someone to personally and flexibly work with is preferable. Along these lines, I'd also prefer a landlord who doesn't mandate the gutters be "BrandX Rustic Copper A250G6 12.5' BLz3" and have a layout of the house's walls just to ensure each wall remains a particular color. Have three to move in - self, wife, daughter (2.5y), no pets. We're clean and of sober habit, fwiw. Gave a lot of preferences, but unless noted otherwise, not a requirement. I won't be aggressively looking for a place until we list the house we're in (~3-6 months), so I'll have interest in offers at least until then.
