SCAMICO
The Sensational True Story of The World's Most Successful ICO Scammer
By Eugene Onegin
ABOUT SCAMICOSCAMICO is the unbelievable story of Eugene Onegin, who to date is the most successful cryptocurrency scammer in history. In the past decade alone, Onegin has successfully held more than 9 Initial Coin Offerings (ICOs) which have generated in excess of $50 billion. Not one of them has gone on to produce any sort of product at all. In this frank and alarming account of an international criminal mastermind, Onegin reveals for the first time ever how he has baited, snared and stolen money from hapless investors who wanted nothing more than the chance to increase a day's pay. Via a mesmerising range of scams, including the original Ethercoin heist, Onegin describes explicitly how: he set traps for the greedy, siphoned off money from major Universities and other endowments and how he bribed government officials with prostitutes from Warsaw, Tokyo and Moscow ("Russian women have the soviet heart of Satan" as he tells it; "they are your first choice for everything as long as you don't have to trust them"), bilked investors out of multi-billions in cryptocurrencies and faciliatated the transference of such crypto into cash via brokers in North Korea, sponsored an Iranian airline just so he could gain access to data intelligence that could compromise US law enforcement officials finding him and whole lot more.
SCAMICO is sure to be the single best-selling book in cryptocurrency history, with accolades already from major reviewers. John Gillespie from the New York Times describes SCAMICO as "alarming ... horrifying and sickening but perversely unputdownable" while New York Review of Books reviewer Andrew Hart labels Onegin's cautionary tale "a wake-up call for anyone who thinks decentralisation makes you powerful: it doesn't - you are simply the pawn of very rich, very idle and very smart scammers such as Eugene Onegin."
Originally leaked in parts on the darknet, Onegin has received option offers from movie producers for the story of his incredible life. SCAMICO is an international crime caper, a crypto whodunit and a strange, criminal coming-of-age story about a European Russian tech developer and financial analyst who was able to pull off some of the most shocking scams in history. In this book, readers will learn what really happened to Mt. Gox, why flight MH370 was taken down out of the sky just weeks before then and how these incidences are related, what happened to the passengers and much, much more. For anyone who is interested in the disturbing dark truth behind some of the world's contemporary unsolved mysteries, told by one of the darkest minds in history, Eugene Onegin's epic story is one you simply cannot afford to miss.
EARLY PRAISE FOR SCAMICO "Not everything in innovation is always for the better, and nowhere displays this right now more than the cryptocurrency universe, a place where master scam-artists like Eugene Onegin prey on ordinary, hard-working middle-class families. Scamico is certainly an important book; most of all one hopes that this cautionary tale is a wake-up call for anyone who thinks decentralization makes you powerful: it doesn't - you are simply the pawn of very rich, very idle and very smart scammers such as Eugene Onegin." -
Andrew Hart, NYRB "The sheer audacity of Eugene Onegin's frauds is alarming in and of itself when you consider that it's many times the size of most public-listed companies. The horrifying and sickening but perversely unputdownable quality however is not so much the scams in and of itself, it's the revelations about MH370, the disclosures about Japanese military and American CIA operatives and how they work with many of the scammers in order to further their own ends which is surely the most important point of all here. For if even those we trust are not on our side when it comes to money, then maybe, scammer or not, Satoshi is right: it's time for the individual to take back his power." -
John Gillespie, NYT "This is an evocative and even at points heartbreaking tale of intelligence used as a weapon against the rest of the world purely for the sake of power." -
Mikael Bloom, Washington Post "It is likely that Scamico will become for crypto a sort of sacred text ... this no-holds barred, easy-to-read account of a mastermind criminal with an international lifestyle like a rock star will capture the fantasy and fear of many a cryptocurrency enthusiast." -
Ben Pigeon, Bloomberg "Scamico is nasty, hard and strangely sincere: it's the diary of a modern-day sociopath, and one we encounter far too frequently, too." -
Carl Playwright, Reuters
FROM THE BOOKChapter 1: The Ambassador’s Reception
[Rule 1: Your utility is my value]
If it had been anyone else but him I might be married and living in Oslo now, doing some humdrum job and pulling in the pints on Saturday next to you in the bar. I might have married that waitress I was banging, Katrina Lover. I might have settled down, had some kids, started a tech company that makes high-quality web browsers no one uses (think: Opera) and I might be going to heaven when I die. But that cunt who brought me into all this is the master of heaven and earth. My utility was his value from day one.
I was nineteen when I first got into crypto, which was around about two years before the time I met Katrina that night. Katrina, remember, is the one who could have been my wife and who is right now the waitress over there serving the suits. So that means that Katrina's tits were still truly mesmerizing, and given that I didn't know her yet, novel too. It was all I could do to not look straight at them like the semi-autistic child I once was. This was big-time business that I was on, though. We were going to rock the world back into the 21st century. Nothing had happened this big since Mt. Gox. That's because since 2011 it seemed that there was never anything to steal these days. By steal, let's make something clear; I don't mean breaking and entering, like most morons would do and a lot actually do when they consider a heist. I don't mean snatching in their purse and pinching a few pennies and a random jingle of metal keys that open the door to only-God-knows-where. That's dumb. Come on, that's like looking for a job by holding up a cardboard sign on the street saying "HIRE ME PLEASE". Of course, you are goanna get caught, and what you get caught for was never enough to justify the hassle of breaking the rules, quite frankly.
After all, why do you want someone's TV when you can just have their cash and buy your own better one? Most people are idiots. They don't see this. You see, the reason most of you are such suckers is that you don't get the fundamental number 1 rule of economics. That rule is this: your utility is my value. In economics, a utility is a benefit. It's something you enjoy. So, when you enjoy a movie someone else is getting paid: an actor or a director, or even a movie store clerk. And when you enjoy sex with a prostitute she is getting paid; same difference. Just as, while you enjoy speculating on new cryptocurrencies, well, that is when I get paid. What I mean when I say there was nothing to steal then was that there was basically bitcoin and a bunch of other shitcoins without any creative scammers behind them. It was just real solutions, which move far too slow.
Speed is so important partly because of the reality that money is not a means to an end - it is the end in itself. I don't care what anyone tells you, that's the fucking truth. Without money, your life is as good as over. And my guess is that you know this or you wouldn't be reading this in the first place. So that's good. You are not that fucking dumb, after all.
Now, back to the story: so, the reason I was staring at Katrina's mahooza at four am that summer morning was ... Well, wait a second. Let me introduce you to another idea about cryptocurrencies that sort of reinforces the point I was trying to male. What is so clever about cryptocurrencies is that while you think you are gaming the banks, you are the one being gamed. You're being gamed by me, who's spinning you that story that you now think is truth to such an extent that it's become a personal truth of yours. It's your truth. If your truth is my truth then ... well, that is the point where your utility becomes my value. And my utility too, because I can keep sucking out value from you day-in, day-out and get you to go bang some other cunt over the head with my spin, because, remember, that spin is now your truth.
The point I am trying to make is that this line about take back the economy into your own hands that Satoshi preached just after the subprime crisis - we will get to him shortly, don't worry - it really is just a ruse. It's a smokescreen.
Do you even know how hard it is to stabilize a currency used by 7 billion people around the world? Look at Bitcoin. No one would ever call that a stable currency. Instability is what it has going from it, in fact. Satoshi wasn't serious that somehow 21 million units of digital fudge would enable humankind to take back the market from the evil powers that be. Rather, he just felt like getting in on the evil with the rest of the Federal Reserve. And the Feds are actually quite nice. They wouldn't stand a chance against Satoshi. Sat's a total cunt, and you will see. As evidence of this, have you ever asked who is holding all the millions of Bitcoins right now that's out there in the market? It's the ones saying things like help the unbanked! Take back your money! The evidence is in the use of the article your. When it comes to cryptocurrencies, the word your is always without exception a euphemism for mine. Your utility is, after all, the source of all my value, which, because I am a scammer, is also my one and only utility, too.
But we digress, dear reader, and I apologize. I'll try to only remind you what a moron you are every once in a while, I promise. Let's get back to Katrina anyway, and back to the Radisson Edwardian bar overlooking Oslo. What was it that brought me to a Scandinavian five-star hotel bar in the middle of a snowstorm that looked like something out of one of those Santa Clause movies they make once a year? It was not Katrina. I met Katrina that night, what I thought of as one stunning whore-worthy fuck-button of a waitress, it must be said. But at first my eyes were not anywhere near her tits. Why was it so important that I was looking at the old man opposite me direct in the eyes all the time like an air force pilot?
The answer is: because the man opposite me was The Ambassador, the absolute master of the scam, the devil of all trolls, the blackest of all hearts with the palest, almost sick-white skin. No matter, you had to give him your entire fucking attention. This however wasn't something you did out of respect, which is the sort of attention people all over the world give him. My attention was focused on The Ambassador out of fear. Oh yeah, The Ambassador by the way is the one you know in polite circles as Satoshi Nakomoto. The Ambassador is a master scam artist. Unless your whole attention is focused on him and his every move, thought, and split-infinitive that is running through his brain when he is with you, you will lose something. It's a certainty.
"We are going to drain the fucking DAO," The Ambassador told me. "We are going to create a fossil fuel for Blockchain, and then we are going to set it alight." Right at that moment Katrina dropped a massive tray with cocktails from some i-Banking party that was going on in the other half of the Bar. The glass crashed and splintered all over the bar floor, and the shards of little crystal splints strangely manifest like the snowflakes outside so that you couldn't tell where the inside and the outside began and ended. The Ambassador laughed.
I wouldn't end up making great web browsers that no one used either. I didn't know it then, not quite, but the truth is that I would end up making financial instruments of no value that everyone in the God-damn world used. I am sure to this day that is why he was laughing. I can't prove it, but it's an instinct from having worked with him now for some years.
My life had just begun.
[Rule 2: Push the needy in front of the bus first]
I’ve been in the crypto game a long, long time. I know most of the lingo, tricks, and warning signs. I know how to read you like an open book. People are binary. What they say is usually the opposite of how it is. When it comes to truth and reality, the spoken version is the binary pair of the real thing; when it comes down to money, that’s certainly how it is ninety-nine-point-fucking-ninety-nine percent of the time.
What does this mean? It means when the cops speak to you, assume they are lying to you. They are after you or else why would they be questioning you at all? It means when the waitress in the bar tells you something is out of stock, don’t believe her. She just doesn’t like you enough to be bothered to get what it is you asked for, or she just wants to fuck with you, either because she is fucked up and wants to see you go without what you want but still hand her money or because she’s had a bad day, or she can’t be plain bothered to (most of the time it’s this one). It means when the bank says they can’t give you a loan because your credit rating isn’t high enough, the bank is lying to you. It doesn’t have enough money to lend to customers like you. But it can’t tell you that or you would tell your friends and never keep your Fiat on deposit account at one of its outlets.
What this fact means is that we always mark-up our prices out of the realm of reality. Over sixty-percent of Americans say they are “above average” at sports and twenty-five percent would apparently qualify for nationals “if they put their mind to it.” We bullshit. As humans, we are all full of shit, both physically and intellectually.
You need to get that into your head before you get into business, really. It’s why the only ones who make millions in business are criminals. Making money is about exploiting the weaknesses in everyone else, pure and simple. The condo sales agent knows you’re desperate for a lease because your daughter won’t have anywhere to go on Saturday night when she turns up in the city for school, so he hurries you along and tells you there are three people in the same situation right now. What a jack of shit. Think about the odds for a second. There are three people in New York City, a city of twelve million people, who are in your exact same position talking to the exact same realtor at that exact same minute? Nah. I’d sooner pay up than I would try to bet on odds like that. Or here’s another one: this car is safe.
What a load of horseshit that one is. The reality is, the cheaper the car, the more dangerous it is. For just over ten grand, there is no way in hell Toyota can afford to give you the same protection as Mercedes can for fifty, pure and simple. If you don’t believe me, ask to walk around their factories (the Mercedes man will schedule you an instant tour at any of the company’s factories all over the world; the Toyota man will backtrack and try and close the deal there and then or get you out of the showroom pronto.)
Everyone is full of shit, and when it comes to money, they are full of extra shit. Everyone in life is taking you for a ride. Most of the time, you are taken in by your emotions. Your wife wants to be that younger model so she goes shopping at Louis Vuitton. You want to feel like an all-star tennis player so you buy an Omega and shoot off a few fast ones on Sunday afternoon. These are our purchasing decision-making faculties. Now, with cryptocurrencies, it’s a little harder.
Who wants to ASIIC-mine little shitcoins at home like a nerd and pass them around with drug dealers and pedophiles, after all, right? That was the problem we were faced with in the early days when you had to build a whole Blockchain just to manufacture a new cryptocurrency. Our answer was simple: people who want to save the unbanked poor in Africa. It’s not actually a very original trick – poor black people with bloating malnutrition diseases and flies in their eyes is probably one of the oldest tricks in the book to lure your cash out your wallet and into the purse of the salesman. It is designed mostly for the North American market, which still feels unnecessarily guilty about its exploitation of wester African slaves back in the 1800’s, and which for the most part is white but reminded of it constantly in the form of popular music and entertainment hammering on the same tired ol’ theme, year-in-year-out. So that is the one we picked: cryptocurrencies will bank the unbanked. The reason that most people in the world don’t have bank accounts is not because they don’t have access to bitcoin, however.
The reason they don’t have a bank account is because their government is too lazy and not humanitarian enough to care and they are too stupid to contribute meaningfully to the global production equation, and someone smart, usually a car manufacturer like our friends from Toyota, has worked that out and paid the government official a back-hander while exploiting the idiot so he can pay his workers next to nothing and sell his car for $12,000 to your 18-year-old son. In other words, the slave trade is what puts your kid behind the wheel, so be a little grateful next time you turn the key in the switch of your family’s third automobile.
The needy always get pushed in front of the bus first. That is how it is; the needier you are, the faster you will fall. And there are no needier people in the world than greedy people. Greed is the best sort of need you can find to sell to, in fact. It’s self-perpetuating, meaning you don’t even have to get it going from the outside, it justifies absolutely any moral action on the basis of requirement or efficiency, and it is collective in the way that it builds into a hysteria whereby eventually even your furthest customers on the planet, the ones sat in a barn looking at the Aussie coastline and ploughing the fields, are drawn in by the extra AUS$5,000 they could make on the latest shitcoin, all while helping those poor black people they don’t know and never did nor never will really care about at all.
It’s the unbanked and the greedy middle class who built crypto, and it’s them who probably pay the highest price for all the shitvalue we have scammed out of the world on worthless cryptocurrencies that can be artificially reduced in supply just enough to shine a couple 400% up days and hook you in. It’s the greedy middle-class who knee-jerk sell before the time has come to consummate the profits, and as for the genuinely unbanked: well, now they have another technical barrier that has been put up between them and money: the Blockchain. (As if getting an online bank account wasn’t hard enough, right?) Welcome to the real world, folks. You might not like it, but this is just the way it fucking is.
The Ambassador’s plan was simple: he would ratchet up the poor-blacks story while I would get to work on making significant changes to the way in which coins, or tokens as they would be known, were developed. To sell that shit he was scared that the initial lot of respectable late-40s geeks were a little far removed from his core customer base, who were only just about discovering what the world playboy meant, so he would find a kid, someone around my age, to front the thing.
“I don’t want a Russian; the Japanese Satoshi identity worked so well last time. Maybe another Asian, then,” he mused.
“That would show that you were just fucking with them. No,” I told him, “you have to pick a Russian this time. If you don’t they will eventually figure it out anyway. Get a Russian kid. A bright one. One who could just about conceivably develop such a complex technology as the one your propose.”
“This is why it’s always so good to talk to you. You have ideas that are grounded in the principles of not-getting-caught. Do you know anyone?”
“I know of a guy. He tried to sell a quantum computer to some spiff recently.”
The Ambassador laughed. “That sounds ideal. That’s the man we want. What’s his name?”
“Vitalik Buterin,” I told him.
“Well, get Mr. Buterin here soon. He is going to become the youngest billionaire in the world very soon indeed. We are going to make even more, don’t worry. Greed needs a new outlet, and this token factory is about to become it’s Airbus.”
And that is how Ethereum began. But let’s rewind a bit, or else next you will see me jacking off over Katrina’s tits, and this is a financial biography (of a sort), not a woman’s soft porn narrative (those too betray the simple fact that most of us lie all the time about our sexual preferences, incidentally. Look at the topics in the header of the browsing section: bondage, kids, rape. Apparently, however, most of us disdain such ideas. Who would have figured?)
The creation of crypto can really be traced back to the original hang-out for crazies with greed in their eyes and poor dying African children in the hearts: Mt. Gox. That it came with motherfucking fat French entrepreneur without an education and with a hard-core porn addiction was just part of the collateral damage that is involved in bringing something to market.
Mt. Gox was where I met The Ambassador and the other 32 members of Satoshi’s Senate. That is where we began to start taking your money in a swift blink of a second; that is, until the CIA tried to shut us all down and we had to siphon off the extra funds on top of the ones we were already siphoning out for ourselves and the fat French fuck anyway to pay the Malaysian guys so that they would “accidentally” pull the wrong plane out the air, and not the one that the CIA were going to capture The Ambassador on. When you know the dark history of this place, it becomes much easier to see how guys like me have taken billions of your savings and given you a digital piece of fucking nothing in return, and without any conscience allowed you to sell that piece of nothing to some other sucker for a mark-up. Everyone is in it – the lying game, I mean. I am just much better at it than most of you are at it, that’s all.
@https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07CJLTFF2Note: DO NOT BUY THE BOOK OFF AMAZON. The book is for sale 1m copies max, one ONEGIN token per kindle book or 100 tokens per signed real copy! Token trading for Waves DEX @ http://www.wavesgo.com/tokens/wLT8AkzHXrDWc3mW3UWrnmosVjQYm7JTZnGw1qfHQQn
