1. Bitcoin is a currency, payment network and a protocol.
2. Stealing bitcoins is theft of property.
3. Accepting bitcoins and not in any way delivering the agreed service is fraud and/or theft.
4. Much as losses due to fiat inflation are not tax-deductible, Bitcoin gains shall be tax-exempt.
5. Using or running Bitcoin mixing services is a privacy feature of Bitcoin and shall not be regarded as money laundering as there could be legal reasons for participating in such.
6. Using Bitcoin for activities illegal in a country shall remain illegal, but using Bitcoin itself shall not be considered illegal.
7. Bitcoins belonging to foreign citizens shall not be illicitly confiscated under local laws, but returned to the jurisdiction of the owners or to the owners themselves.
8. If a service is in some way storing customers bitcoins, they shall loudly declare that the customers funds are trusted with them completely - unless the company documents it has the funds claimed with for example a public company account or government approval.
9. Customer funds stored by a Bitcoin related service shall belong to the depositing customers before any other creditors - unless otherwise clearly agreed to by the customer.
... not a snowballs chance in hell