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Author Topic: Bitcointalk, I need your advice...  (Read 1024 times)
missworld (OP)
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December 06, 2013, 12:37:13 PM
 #1

My sister in law is basically my sister. We became really close when my brother started dating her a few years back and I love her dearly.

She thinks my brother is cheating on her. She says she snooped his phone and saw some texts from some girl that read, "You're adorable. How soon can we meet?" and "I'm wearing close to nothing. I'm freezing." She said that's what they read verbatim. They look suspect at first glance but these texts could have very well been taken out of context.

My brother has cheated before, but the girl he cheated on cheated on him first and I fucking hated her. Shallow, materialistic bitch. So, even though he has cheated it was more of a counter attack. My brother told my in law about this incident.

Now, here's the kicker. I know my brother's facebook password and she wants it from me to snoop more. She said she doesn't want to confront him unless she has enough evidence so she doesn't look crazy (as if the snooping hasn't done that already). I love my brother very much and I refused to give it to her. Now she's saying I'm not being fair to her because I'm her friend as well and this situation is really devastating for her. Thing is, blood is blood. He's my brother and I'll protect him even if he is cheating. Is that wrong? Would you stand by your blood relatives even if they're behaving badly?

Is my in law just some crazy insecure woman? I never really saw her this way. All of this is really shocking to me.

Should I give my brother a heads up or just stay out of this all together? I think it's unfair of my in law to drag me into this knowing it'll stress me out and I'll be caught in the middle.

Goodness.
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December 06, 2013, 12:42:34 PM
 #2

Your sister in law is being unfair as you have close connections to both and dont want to see eiyher hurt.

stay out of it. No one is pefect
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December 06, 2013, 12:47:18 PM
 #3

My sister in law is basically my sister. We became really close when my brother started dating her a few years back and I love her dearly.

She thinks my brother is cheating on her. She says she snooped his phone and saw some texts from some girl that read, "You're adorable. How soon can we meet?" and "I'm wearing close to nothing. I'm freezing." She said that's what they read verbatim. They look suspect at first glance but these texts could have very well been taken out of context.

My brother has cheated before, but the girl he cheated on cheated on him first and I fucking hated her. Shallow, materialistic bitch. So, even though he has cheated it was more of a counter attack. My brother told my in law about this incident.

Now, here's the kicker. I know my brother's facebook password and she wants it from me to snoop more. She said she doesn't want to confront him unless she has enough evidence so she doesn't look crazy (as if the snooping hasn't done that already). I love my brother very much and I refused to give it to her. Now she's saying I'm not being fair to her because I'm her friend as well and this situation is really devastating for her. Thing is, blood is blood. He's my brother and I'll protect him even if he is cheating. Is that wrong? Would you stand by your blood relatives even if they're behaving badly?

Is my in law just some crazy insecure woman? I never really saw her this way. All of this is really shocking to me.

Should I give my brother a heads up or just stay out of this all together? I think it's unfair of my in law to drag me into this knowing it'll stress me out and I'll be caught in the middle.

Goodness.

ask your brother to change the password, with no reason, it is the easiest solution.
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December 06, 2013, 12:49:53 PM
 #4

Your sister in law is being unfair as you have close connections to both and dont want to see eiyher hurt.

stay out of it. No one is pefect

That's exactly how I feel. It's too late. I'm involved now. I think she's feeling really paranoid about it and she'll do whatever she can to either prove he is or isn't cheating.

Now I feel like I should at least just ask my brother if he is stepping out. We tell each other everything so he'd tell me the truth. If he is, then I'll know and I'll feel somewhat obligated to tell my sister in law, but I don't want to. I don't want to be responsible for anything that happens between them but, dammit...why did she have to bring me into this?!?
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December 06, 2013, 12:55:12 PM
 #5

ask your brother to change the password, with no reason, it is the easiest solution.

My bro is really sharp. He's gonna wanna know why. I could just lie and say he's changed it to my sis in law and at least that issue'll be put to rest.

Still, my sis in law is gonna be on alert. I think the mystery girl just might be someone in his study group, or maybe she is some flirtatious skank he met platonically who initiated those texts. I dunno...
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December 06, 2013, 01:46:55 PM
 #6



She thinks my brother is cheating on her. She says she snooped his phone and saw some texts from some girl that read, "You're adorable. How soon can we meet?" and "I'm wearing close to nothing. I'm freezing."

Well what did the other messages say? We/you need more context. If they were:

Brother: I just saved a bunch of puppies from a burning building. Do you want to meet up so I can give you one?
Girl: You're adorable. How soon can we meet?

Then no. But if:

Brother: I want to bury my face in your beautiful ass
Girl: You're adorable. How soon can we meet?

Then yes, he is cheating.

Brother: I'm really cold.
Girl: Me too
Girl: I'm wearing close to nothing. I'm freezing.

Then no. But if:

Brother: What are you wearing, you dirty little fucking skank
Girl: I'm wearing close to nothing. I'm freezing.

Then yes, maybe suspect.

And I wouldn't stick up for my bro if he was cheating. People have a right to know.

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missworld (OP)
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December 06, 2013, 02:00:54 PM
 #7



She thinks my brother is cheating on her. She says she snooped his phone and saw some texts from some girl that read, "You're adorable. How soon can we meet?" and "I'm wearing close to nothing. I'm freezing."

Well what did the other messages say? We/you need more context. If they were:

Brother: I just saved a bunch of puppies from a burning building. Do you want to meet up so I can give you one?
Girl: You're adorable. How soon can we meet?

Then no. But if:

Brother: I want to bury my face in your beautiful ass
Girl: You're adorable. How soon can we meet?

Then yes, he is cheating.

Brother: I'm really cold.
Girl: Me too
Girl: I'm wearing close to nothing. I'm freezing.

Then no. But if:

Brother: What are you wearing, you dirty little fucking skank
Girl: I'm wearing close to nothing. I'm freezing.

Then yes, maybe suspect.

And I wouldn't stick up for my bro if he was cheating. People have a right to know.

Hahaha. I needed a laugh. Thank you.

Bingo. This is what I'm saying, I don't know the context and neither does she. She said those were the only two texts she saw. I guess they were coming in as she was snooping or whatever.

And you're right. She does have the right to know if he's cheating, but should I be the messenger?
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December 06, 2013, 02:05:01 PM
 #8

 Cheesy. That started my day off right!  Hysterical.
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December 06, 2013, 02:13:56 PM
 #9

I can see your problem, I've had this VERY simmilar issue come to me before, ultimately it's your choice to snoop or not, This is where you make your choice, do you break a boundary by sneaking into your brothers personal life and reading his private facebook account data and relay it to your Inlaw? Or do you give the password to the girl, further erroding the privacy/trust bond between your brother and you even more than the previous mentioned idea?
Perhaps the right choice is to Stand Back and not do anything, That way you're not at blame for "things happening" however you could be blamed for "doing nothing" HOWEVER, you doing something requires you to access an account that does not belong to you, an account's private data belongs to the owner of the account (or facebook, I dont use it, fk them)

So, Do you Steal and Relay information "for the greater good"?
Do you Give away a Stolen password (i don't care how you got it) "for her"?
Do you stand back as an innocent bystander because you would have to break a technical law to "do something"?

You can obviously see wich of the three choices i picked.
Have a good gamble!

Just man up and ask your brother "Are you still with (sister in law here), are you seeing someone else?"

http://bitcoin-otc.com/viewratingdetail.php?nick=DingoRabiit&sign=ANY&type=RECV <-My Ratings
https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?topic=857670.0 GAWminers and associated things are not to be trusted, Especially the "mineral" exchange
hilariousandco
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December 06, 2013, 02:27:31 PM
 #10


Just man up and ask your brother "Are you still with (sister in law here), are you seeing someone else?"

Yeah, just ask him. Don't give out his password. Maybe if you know it you should check (have you ever snooped before on him, and why do you know his pass?).

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beetcoin
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December 06, 2013, 07:12:03 PM
 #11

what the fuck, don't give it to her. it doesn't matter who she is to you. if it were your brother, and you had his gf's password, you still shouldn't be giving out someone else's personal info out.

if it turns out he is cheating on her, i can't blame the gf for wanting to find out.. especially if she's been loyal. but i'm not so sure she has the right to snoop into his personal info. there are other ways of getting the truth out of him, without his knowing.
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December 06, 2013, 07:34:40 PM
 #12

If he'll tell the truth, then ask him. And plan from there.

HODLing for the longest time. Skippin fast right around the moon. On a rocketship straight to mars.
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December 06, 2013, 07:54:50 PM
 #13

I can see your problem, I've had this VERY simmilar issue come to me before, ultimately it's your choice to snoop or not, This is where you make your choice, do you break a boundary by sneaking into your brothers personal life and reading his private facebook account data and relay it to your Inlaw? Or do you give the password to the girl, further erroding the privacy/trust bond between your brother and you even more than the previous mentioned idea?
Perhaps the right choice is to Stand Back and not do anything, That way you're not at blame for "things happening" however you could be blamed for "doing nothing" HOWEVER, you doing something requires you to access an account that does not belong to you, an account's private data belongs to the owner of the account (or facebook, I dont use it, fk them)

So, Do you Steal and Relay information "for the greater good"?
Do you Give away a Stolen password (i don't care how you got it) "for her"?
Do you stand back as an innocent bystander because you would have to break a technical law to "do something"?

You can obviously see wich of the three choices i picked.
Have a good gamble!

Just man up and ask your brother "Are you still with (sister in law here), are you seeing someone else?"

Yeah, I feel like that's HER place if she wants to bring it up. I wasn't the one who snooped his phone in the first place. I for one do not support snooping in any regard because things can be taken out of context so easily, and it can ruin relationships. That's why it's frowned upon in the first place!
missworld (OP)
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December 06, 2013, 08:02:58 PM
 #14


Just man up and ask your brother "Are you still with (sister in law here), are you seeing someone else?"

Yeah, just ask him. Don't give out his password. Maybe if you know it you should check (have you ever snooped before on him, and why do you know his pass?).

No, I don't snoop on my brother. I know his password because we exchanged them. Sometimes he knows someone on fb he wants to show to me and the only way to view their full profile is through his. I never log in unless he gives me permission.

So while I'm tempted to log in and just see if he's contacting this girl I just love my brother for trusting me with his password in the first place and I would never, ever want to betray him.
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December 06, 2013, 08:25:30 PM
 #15

i would just tell her that if i were in her position, i would not try to guilt anyone into giving me information.. so, as such, i would not hand out the info on my brother. it's not that you are trying to protect him, but rather you just want to stand on the sidelines.
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December 06, 2013, 08:40:20 PM
 #16

Quote
Thing is, blood is blood. He's my brother and I'll protect him even if he is cheating. Is that wrong? Would you stand by your blood relatives even if they're behaving badly?

blood is just blood, you should never let that stop you from doing the right thing. However in this case I think you are doing the right thing, you shouldn't give people other persons passwords.
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December 06, 2013, 08:45:10 PM
 #17

fuck that, i'm not saying you should turn on him.. but protecting him? nah, i would just stay out of their business.
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December 06, 2013, 09:16:12 PM
 #18

"Bitcointalk, I need your advice..."

See now, that was your first mistake.
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December 06, 2013, 09:20:45 PM
 #19

"Bitcointalk, I need your advice..."

See now, that was your first mistake.
HOOOHAHAHAHAHA NOT COOL, SO FUNNY IT HURTS!
In all seriousness, Bitcointalk is a terrible place to get "real/correct" information, There is just as much FUD as there are FACTS
It sucks to admit it, but Bitcointalk.org is not a good place for advice, Many people will try to tell you spooky things or trick you into stupidly spending your money, allowing them more time to mine at the current difficulty, SADLY, this causes the general "public" of the forums to talk/act/behave like thats normal to do, so you're likely to get Terrible advice regardless of what it's about

At the same time, there are some pretty nifty and smart people here, You just need to spend some time trusting in what they say to figure out whos a liar, whos a fool, and who knows how to do things.

BFL_Josh=Liar
JackRabiit=Fool
ckolivas/Luke-Jr and forum admins=People who know how to do things

http://bitcoin-otc.com/viewratingdetail.php?nick=DingoRabiit&sign=ANY&type=RECV <-My Ratings
https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?topic=857670.0 GAWminers and associated things are not to be trusted, Especially the "mineral" exchange
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December 06, 2013, 09:21:21 PM
 #20

Your sister in law is being unfair as you have close connections to both and dont want to see eiyher hurt.

stay out of it. No one is pefect

The first advice was pretty sound.
Tell her that she should just have a talk with him and leave you out of it.
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