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Author Topic: Apple runs out of companies to sue. So Apple sues Apple.  (Read 1394 times)
xtoro
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August 19, 2011, 07:58:05 AM
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After a desperate attempt to file patent and intellectual property lawsuits against all of it's competitors, and not getting anywhere, Apple Inc files a lawsuit against Apple Inc.  

The claims are that Apple's iPad2 is clearly a blatant copy of Apple's iPad, and violates several patents owned by Apple, including the look of the OS, how images and maps are manipulated using multi-touch and "pinch-zooming", the dimensions and look of the casing, and even the packaging it comes in.

The strongest arguments coming from Apple, is that Apple even copied it's boring interface, including how limited it's customization is, and the fact that it's browser doesn't support flash.

An Apple representative stated "We're quite shocked at Apple's attempt to copy our technology down to so many details, including our iPad's browser feature which doesn't support Flash.  No Flash support is our technology!  The fact that the iPad2's browser also doesn't support Flash is a blatant infrigement of our intellectual property rights, and we will be requesting that Apple includes Flash support for their iPad2, which will allow us to retain our position of being the only company that runs a browser without Flash support.  This is an important feature for us."

Shown below is an image of Apple's iPad, next to Apple's iPad2, clearly demonstrating how the iPad2 is an obvious clone of the iPad.


As you can see, the look is almost identical, except for the fact that the iPad2 is thinner, and weighs less than Apple's iPad.

As for hardware, Apple's iPad2 beats Apple's iPad in a few areas.  The iPad2 boasts a newer dual-core processor compared to the iPad.  The iPad2 also has twice the RAM compared to the iPad.  Other features included in the iPad2 that are lacking in the iPad are a front and rear facing camera, a gyroscope and HDMI output.


Clearly, Apple is furious that not only did Apple copy their design, but they made a better product.

The Marketing Director stated "How dare they come out with a product that is so similar to ours, but it so much better!  We can't have tablets running around in the wild that are better than ours!  Especially after all the time and effort we've spent toting our iPad and claiming that it's the best thing since the invention of fire.  I mean, what's next?  A tablet that supports SD memory cards?"

Uh oh!  Look out Apple, looks like it's not only Apple that is trying to out-do you.  Seems that there are already a few tablets out there that support SD cards!  I mentioned this to the marketing director, pointing out that SD support is already present.  His response : "Well, that's not a problem for us because we will just include SD support in our next version, then we will patent it or buy a generic patent that somehow relates to SD memory cards in some roundabout way, and then we'll sue every company that has SD tablets.  We just have to claim that we came up with it first and stop them from selling their products.  Easy peasy."


So, what will happen with this Apple vs. Apple lawsuit?  Hard to tell.  Looks like both companies have a strong case against eachother, although Apple seems to have proof that their iPad came out before Apple's iPad2.

Either way, whichever company loses will have to revert to their next step in their "pad" product.  It uses no batteries, doesn't crash, doesn't need updates, and you can customize it and do whatever you want with it!  The product has already been shown to a select few at this year's technology expo





















Lastly, a preliminary hearing was held today, which was quite short...  Both sides didn't even get a word in.  As the judge took his seat and was introduced to the plaintiff, Apple Inc, and then the defendant, Apple Inc, he simple yelled out "ARE YOU F^#$ING SERIOUS?!?!?!?"  and then walked out.

(Yes, this is of course a joke!  I've been following the apple lawsuits in the news and find it quite funny.  I'm not an apple-hater, although I don't like them or what they're doing.  And yes, I did buy an iPod a long long time ago for the gym, but that's it.  I actually don't like their computers or their ridiculous iPad)

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SomeoneWeird
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August 19, 2011, 08:06:23 AM
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rofloflofl
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August 19, 2011, 04:12:59 PM
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Link to TheOnion?

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xtoro
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August 19, 2011, 07:01:05 PM
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Link to TheOnion?

No, actually, I wrote this up myself after following the apple lawsuits over the last couple of months and thinking, "who else are they gonna sue next?".

Totally original me Smiley

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August 20, 2011, 07:20:23 AM
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Lastly, a preliminary hearing was held today, which was quite short...  Both sides didn't even get a word in.  As the judge took his seat and was introduced to the plaintiff, Apple Inc, and then the defendant, Apple Inc, he simple yelled out "ARE YOU F^#$ING SERIOUS?!?!?!?"  and then walked out.


No way.. the judge would describe it as a complex case which raises serious issues..  and that in order to preserve the innovation that patents and copyright protections so obviously promote, it is imperative that after a lengthy legal battle, Apple be both heavily punished and richly rewarded.

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August 20, 2011, 05:13:07 PM
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Apple v Apple has happened multiple times you realise, because of the lawsuits between Apple Corp (owned by the beatles) and Apple Computing. So yeah. This is old news.
xtoro
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August 21, 2011, 02:41:08 PM
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Apple v Apple has happened multiple times you realise, because of the lawsuits between Apple Corp (owned by the beatles) and Apple Computing. So yeah. This is old news.

Yes, I'm aware of that, it's been going on for a long long time and was also an issue when iTunes came out.  But what I posted is not that at all, and you sir, have totally missed the point/joke...

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