So how do I get started with bitcoins? What phone makes in-person trades?

[Mega Thrusters Are Go]

I was stupid and listened to the nerds at Something Awful back in like 2006 when they said this would never go anywhere. Imagione how many coins I coulda bought... 

My question is, how do I trade my products, new in box, for bitcoins?

What phone would I need to make the transfer? I'm due for a phone upgrade anyway.

[Mega Thrusters Are Go]

Also, I downloaded the wallet, but where do I get my address, to use the faucets and things? It's the long string under Receive Coins tab, right? How do I copy-paste it? Don't tell me I have to copy it by hand...

[Mega Thrusters Are Go]

Also there's some kind of error message in red that says my wallet is out of sync. Uh... okay? How do I get my wallet "in sync?" Take it to a Justin Timberlake concert?  There'sno "fix this" button. How do I fix this?

There's some kind of progress bar at the bottom that seems to be doing something, and now my computer is chugging like an asthmatic pensioner running uphill. What is this?

[Mega Thrusters Are Go]

Haha, the computer wallet is downloading the blockchain and can take a couple of hours. Patience is key! Also, Androids are the best phones for Bitcoin related things. Blockchain, Mycelium, or the original Bitcoin wallet app by Andreas Schildbach are great mobile wallets! Good luck.

So do I have to wait a couple hours each time? Cuz right now it said there like 8,000 blocks left, and after an hour, there's still 7,000 blocks left. Do i have to wait this long each time? Cuz i can't see this bitcoin stuff catching on if that's the case.

And which app is the "original Bitcoin wallet app?"