Confirmed Bad News Sources Thread - No FUD, Just Facts!!!1

[Milotyc]

wrong thread bad news only please  

Ever notice how many "bears only" threads there are?

Is there even a single "bulls  only" thread?

Why are bears so defensive?

  

Every single animal on this (sub)forum, be it bear or bull, wants cheaper coins to hoard and hodl even more. Including you and me. Everyone.

Trend was bullish and still is, no reason for bulls to say anything at all. Imagine a steady bearish trend untill cheap btc, suddenly we'd all be talking bull(shit).

[proudhon]

Proudhon, man, c'mon, really? Are we really doing this?

I mean, it's nice to see that you're optimistic about BTC again, but this kind of caricature is going to get a bunch of the newer folks thinking you're being sincere.

To be serious for a brief moment, this is the most bearish confirmed news of all.

[JimboToronto]

Trolling proudhon?  I hope...

Yeah, a little bit.

Some things don't change. 

[JimboToronto]

Imagine a steady bearish trend untill cheap btc

That's way too far into the fantasy world of wishful thinking for me. 

[elux]

wrong thread bad news only please  

Ever notice how many "bears only" threads there are?

Is there even a single "bulls  only" thread?

  

Bulls are weak. Bears are strong! FACT!

To prove my point, here is a picture:



This thread needs more numerology.

[fr33d0miz3r]

To be serious for a brief moment, this is the most bearish confirmed news of all.

Totally agreed with you. And we'll see LOTS of other bad news soon. (I'm serious)

[byt411]

What is your source? According to your link, it only says stuff about "2014 Clearance of Paying System", and does not mention anything Bitcoin related in any way.

[piramida]

What is your source? According to your link, it only says stuff about "2014 Clearance of Paying System", and does not mention anything Bitcoin related in any way.

He has internal chinese sources in chinese. You just translated wrong.

[proudhon]

What is your source? According to your link, it only says stuff about "2014 Clearance of Paying System", and does not mention anything Bitcoin related in any way.

He has internal chinese sources in chinese. You just translated wrong.

This

[JimboToronto]

Bulls are weak. Bears are strong! FACT!

Yeah, sure.

[An amorous cow-herder]

More bad news, this time from Russia!
Paleontologists from the russian acadamy of sciences have discovered disturbing facts.

As russian paleonologist Arju Kiddn states the extinction of dinosaurs was commonly linked to a meteor impact. However recent research is about to revise this view.
While there is no dispute among paleontologists that crypto-currencies presented the backbone of the prehistoric dinosaur economy recent evidence suggests this was actually the reason for their downfall.
As Arju Kiddn explains 95% of the dinosaur population died excactly at 14:05PM GMT on 45312097 BC. This is too precise a time to consider a meteor impact a valid explenation, the shockwaves and dust would have required more time cover the whole surface.
The obvious explanation? Mammals were able to steal all coins from the dinosaurs. Wether this is due to inherent flaw in the hashing function used by the dinosaurs or a sudden advance in quantum computing on the side of the mammals is up for dispute, but the result cannot be denied. With their private keys compromised the dinosaurs lost. Every single coin.


(a dinosaur realizing what had happened, mere moments before comming ritual suicide with a tapiju)

As Arju Kiddn explains this must have been a devastating experience for the proud dinosaurs, causing most of them to commit ritual suicide with a tapiju ("Tar pit jump", Editors note). The remaining dinosaurs lost their will to live and died out in the coming weeks.


(a typical stone wallet as used by dinosaurs for cold storage, alas it offered no protection once the private keys were compromised)

Still, one wonders. What happened to all the coins stolen from the dinosaurs. Arju Kiddn has the answer. He states that recent advances in DNA sequencing finally provided scientists with this last crucial part of the puzzle. "Lemmings!", Arju Kiddn grins as he makes this final undisputable point, "its so obvious when you think about it. After stealing all the coins from the dinosaurs the lemmings, or, more precisely, their ancient ancestors had the biggest party on the planet ever. This phase of uninterrupted drug abuse and partying caused permanent brain and genetic damage, causing huge parts of the population to jump of cliffs. The genetic damage was so large even modern world lemmings still exhibit this suicidal behavior!"


(Lemmings, suicidal behavior and green hair directly linked to major drug abuse more than 45M years ago)

Given these recent discoveries Arju Kiddn warns from the dangers inherent in crypto-currencies. "Crypto-currencies caused the extinction of dinosaurs. Who says we will fare any better if we repeat this mistake? Sure, we could exterminate all lemmings, but would that be safe? I hear the bees are pretty pissed because of all the electro smog we are producing ..."

[fr33d0miz3r]

russian paleonologist Arju Kiddn

[trenton81]

More bad news, this time from Russia!
Paleontologists from the russian acadamy of sciences have discovered disturbing facts.

That's extremely disturbing, thanks for the thorough research!

I am a bit desparate now, since I fear an insect attack on the mammals coins! What do do?

[proudhon]

More bad news, this time from Russia!
Paleontologists from the russian acadamy of sciences have discovered disturbing facts.

As russian paleonologist Arju Kiddn states the extinction of dinosaurs was commonly linked to a meteor impact. However recent research is about to revise this view.
While there is no dispute among paleontologists that crypto-currencies presented the backbone of the prehistoric dinosaur economy recent evidence suggests this was actually the reason for their downfall.
As Arju Kiddn explains 95% of the dinosaur population died excactly at 14:05PM GMT on 45312097 BC. This is too precise a time to consider a meteor impact a valid explenation, the shockwaves and dust would have required more time cover the whole surface.
The obvious explanation? Mammals were able to steal all coins from the dinosaurs. Wether this is due to inherent flaw in the hashing function used by the dinosaurs or a sudden advance in quantum computing on the side of the mammals is up for dispute, but the result cannot be denied. With their private keys compromised the dinosaurs lost. Every single coin.


(a dinosaur realizing what had happened, mere moments before comming ritual suicide with a tapiju)

As Arju Kiddn explains this must have been a devastating experience for the proud dinosaurs, causing most of them to commit ritual suicide with a tapiju ("Tar pit jump", Editors note). The remaining dinosaurs lost their will to live and died out in the coming weeks.



(a typical stone wallet as used by dinosaurs for cold storage, alas it offered no protection once the private keys were compromised)

Still, one wonders. What happened to all the coins stolen from the dinosaurs. Arju Kiddn has the answer. He states that recent advances in DNA sequencing finally provided scientists with this last crucial part of the puzzle. "Lemmings!", Arju Kiddn grins as he makes this final undisputable point, "its so obvious when you think about it. After stealing all the coins from the dinosaurs the lemmings, or, more precisely, their ancient ancestors had the biggest party on the planet ever. This phase of uninterrupted drug abuse and partying caused permanent brain and genetic damage, causing huge parts of the population to jump of cliffs. The genetic damage was so large even modern world lemmings still exhibit this suicidal behavior!"


(Lemmings, suicidal behavior and green hair directly linked to major drug abuse more than 45M years ago)

Given these recent discoveries Arju Kiddn warns from the dangers inherent in crypto-currencies. "Crypto-currencies caused the extinction of dinosaurs. Who says we will fare any better if we repeat this mistake? Sure, we could exterminate all lemmings, but would that be safe? I hear the bees are pretty pissed because of all the electro smog we are producing ..."

Thank you!  I've verified everything there and it all checks out.  We really need a more robust short market for bitcoin and other cryptos so that those of us who understand the futility of it all can benefit the eminent downfall.

[proudhon]

More bad news, this time from Russia!
Paleontologists from the russian acadamy of sciences have discovered disturbing facts.

That's extremely disturbing, thanks for the thorough research!

I am a bit desparate now, since I fear an insect attack on the mammals coins! What do do?

SODL!  And SHORT!

[ScrapOfCat]

(a typical stone wallet as used by dinosaurs for cold storage, alas it offered no protection once the private keys were compromised)

This whole post is funny as hell, but the stone wallet deserves to become a classic.

[zeroday]

OMG! With bitcoin all we are just dinosaurs! The only salvation for us is moving to mammal coins.
I've already dumped all the damn BTCs and now I'm long on DOGE.

[rebuilder]

Isn't this schtick getting a bit old, Proudhon? Surely you can come up with a new angle, repetition kills jokes.

[proudhon]

Isn't this schtick getting a bit old, Proudhon? Surely you can come up with a new angle, repetition kills jokes.

That's kinda what I'm hoping for.

[proudhon]

Wow!  I didn't think it could get any worse, but this news out of China...the only thing I can think to say is SOLD and SHOTR.