How do you make friends after college?

[oprahwindfury]

I graduated last year and started working in California. A lot of my co-workers are in their early 30's or early 40's. Most have kids and the ones who don't do not entertain the aspect of socializing outside of work. In university, I lived in the dorms and could stop by at any room and start mingling. Naturally I made friends that way throughout the 2 years I was in the dorms.

At school there were clubs where I could find others with the same interests and make friends that way. After leaving all this behind, I'm a bit lost as to how people make friends post university. I think it gets exponentially harder to make friends as you age. When you're a little kid, anyone can be your friend but as an adult you have all these other filters you think about when trying to make an informed decision about friendship.

[Bitcoinwunder]

I absolutely suck at making friends. I'm really bad at pretending and hate most people. So I guess we are in the same boat. I'm still learning how to fake interest in other people and everything. I'm reading the book 'How to make friends and influence people', which is packed with obvious things that I need to hear again and again. Another thing that really hurts meeting new people is the fact that I have a girlfriend. So - if you go somewhere, always go alone.

It's really difficult to make friends usually, because I feel most guys are just interested in girls. And most girls think that you hit on them and don't respond. Haha. Most of my friends are female, because making male friends seems to be almost impossible for me.

Saw a presentation once by a designer who said 'give your business card to 3 people per day'. And he really follows that.

You should probably go to meetups on meetups.com or a similar site. There are many groups you can join - kind of like a university club. There are even three different Bitcoin meetup.com groups in my city. Really is something for every taste. If you are not from a major city I guess it's pretty hard. Just go to events that interest you and introduce yourself.

[suky321]

I graduated last year and started working in California. A lot of my co-workers are in their early 30's or early 40's. Most have kids and the ones who don't do not entertain the aspect of socializing outside of work. In university, I lived in the dorms and could stop by at any room and start mingling. Naturally I made friends that way throughout the 2 years I was in the dorms.

At school there were clubs where I could find others with the same interests and make friends that way. After leaving all this behind, I'm a bit lost as to how people make friends post university. I think it gets exponentially harder to make friends as you age. When you're a little kid, anyone can be your friend but as an adult you have all these other filters you think about when trying to make an informed decision about friendship.

How about joining a local gym, and meeting people there?  I moved to a new town recently, and after joining a gym, I met people who I now train with, and see regularly and also go out now and again with them.  Most people in my gym are friendly, you just need to be proactive and say hi and start a conversation, some people will reciprocate, and some won't, you just need to take chance.

[quarkyplum]

it's tough

[Sutters Mill]

I graduated last year and started working in California. A lot of my co-workers are in their early 30's or early 40's. Most have kids and the ones who don't do not entertain the aspect of socializing outside of work. In university, I lived in the dorms and could stop by at any room and start mingling. Naturally I made friends that way throughout the 2 years I was in the dorms.

At school there were clubs where I could find others with the same interests and make friends that way. After leaving all this behind, I'm a bit lost as to how people make friends post university. I think it gets exponentially harder to make friends as you age. When you're a little kid, anyone can be your friend but as an adult you have all these other filters you think about when trying to make an informed decision about friendship.

I think your signature may have something to do with it

[bitmarket.io]

I graduated last year and started working in California. A lot of my co-workers are in their early 30's or early 40's. Most have kids and the ones who don't do not entertain the aspect of socializing outside of work. In university, I lived in the dorms and could stop by at any room and start mingling. Naturally I made friends that way throughout the 2 years I was in the dorms.

At school there were clubs where I could find others with the same interests and make friends that way. After leaving all this behind, I'm a bit lost as to how people make friends post university. I think it gets exponentially harder to make friends as you age. When you're a little kid, anyone can be your friend but as an adult you have all these other filters you think about when trying to make an informed decision about friendship.

Welcome to life.  College kids still live in a bubble. Just wait until you have to get your own health insurance.

And you know what sucks even more, if you're en engineer. You're gonna be stuck with other dude engineers for a very long time. 

I suggest you join some clubs in your city and become involved more as a citizen.

[Kluge]

Have kids. Suddenly, the majority of people on Earth have become your co-worker.

[Bitcoinwunder]

Reddit has the same thing on the front page today: http://redd.it/1vuhvg

[Cryptopher]

I graduated last year and started working in California. A lot of my co-workers are in their early 30's or early 40's. Most have kids and the ones who don't do not entertain the aspect of socializing outside of work. In university, I lived in the dorms and could stop by at any room and start mingling. Naturally I made friends that way throughout the 2 years I was in the dorms.

At school there were clubs where I could find others with the same interests and make friends that way. After leaving all this behind, I'm a bit lost as to how people make friends post university. I think it gets exponentially harder to make friends as you age. When you're a little kid, anyone can be your friend but as an adult you have all these other filters you think about when trying to make an informed decision about friendship.

As somebody else said - the gym is a great place to see regular faces and in some cases get to know people.

I think that once you make a few friends you can get more of them easier i.e. their friends, people you meet when going out etc.

[sakkosekk]

As cliche as it is, gyms and bars are a great way to meet people and potential friends. I know I turn into a social butterfly after 2 drinks

[MakeBelieve]

Just go out any where and you will find people.


You are not going to find people to hang around with if you stay indoors so try a bar or gym is the easiest one and cheapest.

[Cryptopher]

Just go out any where and you will find people.

Now that there is quality advice. Nevermind the specifics, OP, just get your ass outside of the house in your free time and people will be there to be met.

Hey maybe you could go for a jog before work. If American film and television tells us anything you can meet your future wife and live happily ever after, all starting with bumping into a woman while jogging.

[tekke]

I've been in the same place that you are right now. My suggestion is join classes , courses , etc of thing that you would like to learn or do. In that way you will meet people with similar interests , and it would be easier to befriend them

[FlyForFun]

I graduated last year and started working in California. A lot of my co-workers are in their early 30's or early 40's. Most have kids and the ones who don't do not entertain the aspect of socializing outside of work. In university, I lived in the dorms and could stop by at any room and start mingling. Naturally I made friends that way throughout the 2 years I was in the dorms.

At school there were clubs where I could find others with the same interests and make friends that way. After leaving all this behind, I'm a bit lost as to how people make friends post university. I think it gets exponentially harder to make friends as you age. When you're a little kid, anyone can be your friend but as an adult you have all these other filters you think about when trying to make an informed decision about friendship.

When you start working, co-workers are your friends..

[The Goat Master]

I graduated last year and started working in California. A lot of my co-workers are in their early 30's or early 40's. Most have kids and the ones who don't do not entertain the aspect of socializing outside of work. In university, I lived in the dorms and could stop by at any room and start mingling. Naturally I made friends that way throughout the 2 years I was in the dorms.

At school there were clubs where I could find others with the same interests and make friends that way. After leaving all this behind, I'm a bit lost as to how people make friends post university. I think it gets exponentially harder to make friends as you age. When you're a little kid, anyone can be your friend but as an adult you have all these other filters you think about when trying to make an informed decision about friendship.

When you start working, co-workers are your friends..

Yes, there are pretty much no friends outside of work

[Dafar]

I absolutely suck at making friends. I'm really bad at pretending and hate most people. So I guess we are in the same boat. I'm still learning how to fake interest in other people and everything. I'm reading the book 'How to make friends and influence people', which is packed with obvious things that I need to hear again and again. Another thing that really hurts meeting new people is the fact that I have a girlfriend. So - if you go somewhere, always go alone.

It's really difficult to make friends usually, because I feel most guys are just interested in girls. And most girls think that you hit on them and don't respond. Haha. Most of my friends are female, because making male friends seems to be almost impossible for me.

Saw a presentation once by a designer who said 'give your business card to 3 people per day'. And he really follows that.

You should probably go to meetups on meetups.com or a similar site. There are many groups you can join - kind of like a university club. There are even three different Bitcoin meetup.com groups in my city. Really is something for every taste. If you are not from a major city I guess it's pretty hard. Just go to events that interest you and introduce yourself.

That book recommends the exact opposite of what you are trying to do. I think one of the chapters talk about being GENUINELY interested in someone... don't try to fake interest or conversation, it will eventually show and no one likes people who do that. If I'm not interested in finding out something about someone I won't ask for the sake of small talk. I ask things when I am genuinely curious, this makes me a better listener and more engaged in the conversation. I do this with girls too, I don't care what they are thinking about me, I ask them things that I genuinely want to know... when people worry about what to say next or try to plan a conversation to avoid moments of silence, that's where they go wrong. You gotta talk about what YOU want to talk about. When you want someone to like you talk about things that they enjoy talking about as well.

Sorry I just had to say something since you mentioned that book and you are trying to do the opposite of what the book suggests.


OP-- maintain a good relationship with a close group of 3-4 people form college, that's really all you need. A few close friends are a lot better than many acquaintances. I agree, it's much harder to make new friends after college, but it's still not that hard if you try. Go out with your current friends on the weekends and have some fun. Don't worry too much about making a new friend every time, just put yourself out there and have fun, try to be social and approach people and you might find someone who interests you. Go on meetups and networking events that you are interested in. If you talk to someone interesting, suggest another event or plan another time to hang out.



Gym is not really a good place to meet people imo. I've been going for 2 years and I see lots of familiar faces who consistently go as well. Some of them seem cool but I have no interest in approaching them, because I'm focused on doing my routine and I would find it annoying to engage in a conversation too. There are some super fine girls in the gym though, I wish I did something about that but I am too chicken...  




PS- do you live in Atlanta or Dallas by any chance? If you do maybe we can be friends, I don't know any fellow bitcoiners in real life

[Phinnaeus Gage]

As cliche as it is, gyms and bars are a great way to meet people and potential friends. I know I turn into a social butterfly after 2 drinks

So you were the one increased the Friendship Hash Rate at that end of bar rackin' up your tab, thus making it more difficult for us common folk to score. You Bastard!

[Haidang1796]

well that's understandable, since people getting too dangerous, you know what I mean,  like not innocent anymore. people could just use our friendship and take advantage of that
making friends  probably just go outside and start talking to people.

[EvilPanda]

I made a lot of friends through gaming. Just play any coop or RPG game, after few months of siting together on teamspeak we knew each other quite well and organized meetups. Easiest way to make a friend is to have something in common to talk about, like someone suggested be a gym member, have a dog, have a kid, whatever.

[Phinnaeus Gage]

I made a lot of friends through gaming. Just play any coop or RPG game, after few months of siting together on teamspeak we knew each other quite well and organized meetups. Easiest way to make a friend is to have something in common to talk about, like someone suggested be a gym member, have a dog, have a kid, whatever.

Exactly! Fine somebody that has the same interest as you, then go see a movie.