Terrible Day

[ashapasa]

 

[ashapasa]

hi

[ManeBjorn]

 
I shall smile back.

[ManeBjorn]

Hi,
I hope you are doing well today.

hi

[Kiki112]

The last year and a half has been very shitty.  Ever since I got injured it's been a nightmare.
I keep waiting to hear the canned laughter of a studio audience sometimes because it feels like I'm trapped in some sitcom tv show.

sounds like a shitty life. you're in the right place. 

don't worry man, you're like bitcoin
you have your downs, but in the future you'll come up again

and it will all be worth it

[ManeBjorn]

That is an analogy that I hope can come true both for me and bitcoin. 
It's been alot to deal with.
As for bitcoin now that things are moving forward from the GoX issue things should only get better.

The last year and a half has been very shitty.  Ever since I got injured it's been a nightmare.
I keep waiting to hear the canned laughter of a studio audience sometimes because it feels like I'm trapped in some sitcom tv show.

sounds like a shitty life. you're in the right place. 

don't worry man, you're like bitcoin
you have your downs, but in the future you'll come up again

and it will all be worth it

[roslinpl]

The last year and a half has been very shitty.  Ever since I got injured it's been a nightmare.
I keep waiting to hear the canned laughter of a studio audience sometimes because it feels like I'm trapped in some sitcom tv show.

sounds like a shitty life. you're in the right place. 

don't worry man, you're like bitcoin
you have your downs, but in the future you'll come up again

and it will all be worth it

Hehe.. :-) true indeed! Head up! Only strongest will survive!

[ManeBjorn]

Thank you.
I am trying.

The last year and a half has been very shitty.  Ever since I got injured it's been a nightmare.
I keep waiting to hear the canned laughter of a studio audience sometimes because it feels like I'm trapped in some sitcom tv show.

sounds like a shitty life. you're in the right place. 

don't worry man, you're like bitcoin
you have your downs, but in the future you'll come up again

and it will all be worth it

Hehe.. :-) true indeed! Head up! Only strongest will survive!

[CoinGeneral]

Holy moly! Your post makes me want to tear up... That is quite disappointing....

Anyway good luck to you and your life...

I think we all have problems to deal with, at least because I also have my own problems as well now. It's so freaking weird, you mentioned at one point you were an athlete, let me guess, you didn't have any problems in your life during those times or at least compared to now, you would think those problems never existed. Same here!

At one point the only 'problems' I had were; 'getting a girlfriend', 'earning more money', 'losing weight', and maybe 'study for this test' non-issues.

Those problems are inconsequential compared to something like 'fixing a broken marriage', 'trying to get out of debt when you can't even make ends meet' and 'daily chronic pain making you unable to do daily activities'. Now those are real problems that are actually hard to solve!

You should be thankful if you don't have any of those problems. I am very thankful that I currently am not facing any of them, but it could definitely happen at any moment and I am not denying that. For example you might suddenly get a life-threatening disease one day. Trust me, we all think 'we won't get it' or 'it won't happen to me' but yes, reality strikes fast and anything can happen.

Anyway I've already gone through chronic pain and surgeries, so I definitely know the feeling of pain and disability. Right now I'm facing possibly a worse issue than what I experienced before... I only had to experience a few months of physical pain, which at the time were really strong feelings, yes I even often had that feeling of 'kill me now to end this pain' but that is now a distant memory.

Now I've gone to new territory... Mental anguish... This one I consider even worse as it dictates how you live your life and how you react to other people... Just thinking about it paralyzes me... It's so bad... My only advice would have to be watch out to what people tell you... Someone's opinions may cause you to overthink, disrupt the entire flow of your thinking state and look at the world in a brand new perspective, a worse perspective. Trust me it happened and it happens.

I've gone from very optimistic, very open, and very trustworthy of other people to suddenly resenting, even seriously hating groups of people, no it's not due to race, social status, or classification of the norm but due to a certain action. Seriously, sometimes I would experience intense rage... Very intense rage... Due to my thoughts. You know what I would rather feel that intense rage? Depression. I would rather be depressed than angry, the difference is in one you feel like there's nothing you can do so you are depressed, in anger you feel like other people are at fault and you want to fix them so you are angry. I've never felt so angry at the world before being introduced to this school of thought...

I'll keep up to date here on my progress with this and I'll get rid of this plaguing mindset. It's brought me nothing but unhappiness. Worst part is sometimes it pops up randomly. You are working on something, then boom, there's that thought, then all of a sudden throughout the entire day it just keeps popping up, no matter how much you try to focus on your work, it just pops up. Even when someone does something, I think 'oh they must be so and so' when originally I would have not cared nor judged! But yeah things are different when you look at things differently...

So good luck with your life man. I wish for all of us the best...

[roslinpl]

Holy moly! Your post makes me want to tear up... That is quite disappointing....

Anyway good luck to you and your life...

I think we all have problems to deal with, at least because I also have my own problems as well now. It's so freaking weird, you mentioned at one point you were an athlete, let me guess, you didn't have any problems in your life during those times or at least compared to now, you would think those problems never existed. Same here!

At one point the only 'problems' I had were; 'getting a girlfriend', 'earning more money', 'losing weight', and maybe 'study for this test' non-issues.

Those problems are inconsequential compared to something like 'fixing a broken marriage', 'trying to get out of debt when you can't even make ends meet' and 'daily chronic pain making you unable to do daily activities'. Now those are real problems that are actually hard to solve!

You should be thankful if you don't have any of those problems. I am very thankful that I currently am not facing any of them, but it could definitely happen at any moment and I am not denying that. For example you might suddenly get a life-threatening disease one day. Trust me, we all think 'we won't get it' or 'it won't happen to me' but yes, reality strikes fast and anything can happen.

Anyway I've already gone through chronic pain and surgeries, so I definitely know the feeling of pain and disability. Right now I'm facing possibly a worse issue than what I experienced before... I only had to experience a few months of physical pain, which at the time were really strong feelings, yes I even often had that feeling of 'kill me now to end this pain' but that is now a distant memory.

Now I've gone to new territory... Mental anguish... This one I consider even worse as it dictates how you live your life and how you react to other people... Just thinking about it paralyzes me... It's so bad... My only advice would have to be watch out to what people tell you... Someone's opinions may cause you to overthink, disrupt the entire flow of your thinking state and look at the world in a brand new perspective, a worse perspective. Trust me it happened and it happens.

I've gone from very optimistic, very open, and very trustworthy of other people to suddenly resenting, even seriously hating groups of people, no it's not due to race, social status, or classification of the norm but due to a certain action. Seriously, sometimes I would experience intense rage... Very intense rage... Due to my thoughts. You know what I would rather feel that intense rage? Depression. I would rather be depressed than angry, the difference is in one you feel like there's nothing you can do so you are depressed, in anger you feel like other people are at fault and you want to fix them so you are angry. I've never felt so angry at the world before being introduced to this school of thought...

I'll keep up to date here on my progress with this and I'll get rid of this plaguing mindset. It's brought me nothing but unhappiness. Worst part is sometimes it pops up randomly. You are working on something, then boom, there's that thought, then all of a sudden throughout the entire day it just keeps popping up, no matter how much you try to focus on your work, it just pops up. Even when someone does something, I think 'oh they must be so and so' when originally I would have not cared nor judged! But yeah things are different when you look at things differently...

So good luck with your life man. I wish for all of us the best...

Well said.

We all wish him all best and gettin in a beter situation.

Kind regards

Heads up

[ManeBjorn]

Thanks for sharing.
I have been through divorce and financially difficult time as well.  Nothing so financially devastating as now.
This has been just horrible.  My wife and I have seen our savings gone and 401K used just to get by.  Medical bills are piling up.  We have a 15 month old daughter that we had wanted for so long.  It was devastating to get hurt like this when my wife was 4-5 months pregnant.

I hope that things get better for you.  I never wished divorce or relationship pain on even people I could not stand as it is so terrible.  You are correct as well the over thinking, anger and paranoia get overwhelming.  I hope that you can get through this soon.
No one should have to go through it.

As for me I am just trying not to let it beat me.  Nights like last and days like today make it difficult to deal with.  My daughter has been playing and after me to join her all day and she gets so frustrated I can't do much.  It breaks my heart.
We cannot even afford day care for her a couple days a week so she can spend time with other children.  It makes me feel like such a useless waste of space.
I just want to be healthy for my family and to know it will never happen is crushing. 
One of the humiliating things with this is trying to get disability.  They treat you like you don't want to work and are a lazy criminal who has not worked a day in your life.
I've worked for 27 years and would now if I could.
It is demeaning to be treated like this because some people abused the system.

Keep your head up too and don't give up.  I am going to try not to as well.

Holy moly! Your post makes me want to tear up... That is quite disappointing....

Anyway good luck to you and your life...

I think we all have problems to deal with, at least because I also have my own problems as well now. It's so freaking weird, you mentioned at one point you were an athlete, let me guess, you didn't have any problems in your life during those times or at least compared to now, you would think those problems never existed. Same here!

At one point the only 'problems' I had were; 'getting a girlfriend', 'earning more money', 'losing weight', and maybe 'study for this test' non-issues.

Those problems are inconsequential compared to something like 'fixing a broken marriage', 'trying to get out of debt when you can't even make ends meet' and 'daily chronic pain making you unable to do daily activities'. Now those are real problems that are actually hard to solve!

You should be thankful if you don't have any of those problems. I am very thankful that I currently am not facing any of them, but it could definitely happen at any moment and I am not denying that. For example you might suddenly get a life-threatening disease one day. Trust me, we all think 'we won't get it' or 'it won't happen to me' but yes, reality strikes fast and anything can happen.

Anyway I've already gone through chronic pain and surgeries, so I definitely know the feeling of pain and disability. Right now I'm facing possibly a worse issue than what I experienced before... I only had to experience a few months of physical pain, which at the time were really strong feelings, yes I even often had that feeling of 'kill me now to end this pain' but that is now a distant memory.

Now I've gone to new territory... Mental anguish... This one I consider even worse as it dictates how you live your life and how you react to other people... Just thinking about it paralyzes me... It's so bad... My only advice would have to be watch out to what people tell you... Someone's opinions may cause you to overthink, disrupt the entire flow of your thinking state and look at the world in a brand new perspective, a worse perspective. Trust me it happened and it happens.

I've gone from very optimistic, very open, and very trustworthy of other people to suddenly resenting, even seriously hating groups of people, no it's not due to race, social status, or classification of the norm but due to a certain action. Seriously, sometimes I would experience intense rage... Very intense rage... Due to my thoughts. You know what I would rather feel that intense rage? Depression. I would rather be depressed than angry, the difference is in one you feel like there's nothing you can do so you are depressed, in anger you feel like other people are at fault and you want to fix them so you are angry. I've never felt so angry at the world before being introduced to this school of thought...

I'll keep up to date here on my progress with this and I'll get rid of this plaguing mindset. It's brought me nothing but unhappiness. Worst part is sometimes it pops up randomly. You are working on something, then boom, there's that thought, then all of a sudden throughout the entire day it just keeps popping up, no matter how much you try to focus on your work, it just pops up. Even when someone does something, I think 'oh they must be so and so' when originally I would have not cared nor judged! But yeah things are different when you look at things differently...

So good luck with your life man. I wish for all of us the best...

[ManeBjorn]

Thank you.

Holy moly! Your post makes me want to tear up... That is quite disappointing....

Anyway good luck to you and your life...

I think we all have problems to deal with, at least because I also have my own problems as well now. It's so freaking weird, you mentioned at one point you were an athlete, let me guess, you didn't have any problems in your life during those times or at least compared to now, you would think those problems never existed. Same here!

At one point the only 'problems' I had were; 'getting a girlfriend', 'earning more money', 'losing weight', and maybe 'study for this test' non-issues.

Those problems are inconsequential compared to something like 'fixing a broken marriage', 'trying to get out of debt when you can't even make ends meet' and 'daily chronic pain making you unable to do daily activities'. Now those are real problems that are actually hard to solve!

You should be thankful if you don't have any of those problems. I am very thankful that I currently am not facing any of them, but it could definitely happen at any moment and I am not denying that. For example you might suddenly get a life-threatening disease one day. Trust me, we all think 'we won't get it' or 'it won't happen to me' but yes, reality strikes fast and anything can happen.

Anyway I've already gone through chronic pain and surgeries, so I definitely know the feeling of pain and disability. Right now I'm facing possibly a worse issue than what I experienced before... I only had to experience a few months of physical pain, which at the time were really strong feelings, yes I even often had that feeling of 'kill me now to end this pain' but that is now a distant memory.

Now I've gone to new territory... Mental anguish... This one I consider even worse as it dictates how you live your life and how you react to other people... Just thinking about it paralyzes me... It's so bad... My only advice would have to be watch out to what people tell you... Someone's opinions may cause you to overthink, disrupt the entire flow of your thinking state and look at the world in a brand new perspective, a worse perspective. Trust me it happened and it happens.

I've gone from very optimistic, very open, and very trustworthy of other people to suddenly resenting, even seriously hating groups of people, no it's not due to race, social status, or classification of the norm but due to a certain action. Seriously, sometimes I would experience intense rage... Very intense rage... Due to my thoughts. You know what I would rather feel that intense rage? Depression. I would rather be depressed than angry, the difference is in one you feel like there's nothing you can do so you are depressed, in anger you feel like other people are at fault and you want to fix them so you are angry. I've never felt so angry at the world before being introduced to this school of thought...

I'll keep up to date here on my progress with this and I'll get rid of this plaguing mindset. It's brought me nothing but unhappiness. Worst part is sometimes it pops up randomly. You are working on something, then boom, there's that thought, then all of a sudden throughout the entire day it just keeps popping up, no matter how much you try to focus on your work, it just pops up. Even when someone does something, I think 'oh they must be so and so' when originally I would have not cared nor judged! But yeah things are different when you look at things differently...

So good luck with your life man. I wish for all of us the best...

Well said.

We all wish him all best and gettin in a beter situation.

Kind regards

Heads up

[CoinGeneral]

Thanks for sharing.
I have been through divorce and financially difficult time as well.  Nothing so financially devastating as now.
This has been just horrible.  My wife and I have seen our savings gone and 401K used just to get by.  Medical bills are piling up.  We have a 15 month old daughter that we had wanted for so long.  It was devastating to get hurt like this when my wife was 4-5 months pregnant.

I hope that things get better for you.  I never wished divorce or relationship pain on even people I could not stand as it is so terrible.  You are correct as well the over thinking, anger and paranoia get overwhelming.  I hope that you can get through this soon.
No one should have to go through it.

As for me I am just trying not to let it beat me.  Nights like last and days like today make it difficult to deal with.  My daughter has been playing and after me to join her all day and she gets so frustrated I can't do much.  It breaks my heart.
We cannot even afford day care for her a couple days a week so she can spend time with other children.  It makes me feel like such a useless waste of space.
I just want to be healthy for my family and to know it will never happen is crushing. 
One of the humiliating things with this is trying to get disability.  They treat you like you don't want to work and are a lazy criminal who has not worked a day in your life.
I've worked for 27 years and would now if I could.
It is demeaning to be treated like this because some people abused the system.

Keep your head up too and don't give up.  I am going to try not to as well.

Thanks man, you are awesome and so understanding.

Think about it this way, your entire family wants you to become healthy again and they all love you and care for you. You have to be strong for them.

You have to act strong and be strong to get through this. Your children are looking up to you and you have to show them that their father is a very strong man and if he can get through this problem, they themselves can get through anything.

[ManeBjorn]

I agree and thanks for the encouragement.
Each day I look at as a win. 
My wife, daughter and the rest of my family are why I keep going.

Thanks for sharing.
I have been through divorce and financially difficult time as well.  Nothing so financially devastating as now.
This has been just horrible.  My wife and I have seen our savings gone and 401K used just to get by.  Medical bills are piling up.  We have a 15 month old daughter that we had wanted for so long.  It was devastating to get hurt like this when my wife was 4-5 months pregnant.

I hope that things get better for you.  I never wished divorce or relationship pain on even people I could not stand as it is so terrible.  You are correct as well the over thinking, anger and paranoia get overwhelming.  I hope that you can get through this soon.
No one should have to go through it.

As for me I am just trying not to let it beat me.  Nights like last and days like today make it difficult to deal with.  My daughter has been playing and after me to join her all day and she gets so frustrated I can't do much.  It breaks my heart.
We cannot even afford day care for her a couple days a week so she can spend time with other children.  It makes me feel like such a useless waste of space.
I just want to be healthy for my family and to know it will never happen is crushing. 
One of the humiliating things with this is trying to get disability.  They treat you like you don't want to work and are a lazy criminal who has not worked a day in your life.
I've worked for 27 years and would now if I could.
It is demeaning to be treated like this because some people abused the system.

Keep your head up too and don't give up.  I am going to try not to as well.

Thanks man, you are awesome and so understanding.

Think about it this way, your entire family wants you to become healthy again and they all love you and care for you. You have to be strong for them.

You have to act strong and be strong to get through this. Your children are looking up to you and you have to show them that their father is a very strong man and if he can get through this problem, they themselves can get through anything.

[CoinGeneral]

Hey ManeBjorn, hope you are feeling well. I just want to add an update to my situation if you care to read it. It's long but hopefully it makes sense.

I am getting closer and closer to fixing my problem! Woohoo! It is awesome.

I found out what the leading cause of it was. Confirmation bias. Confirmation bias is when if you think of a certain idea that may or may not be true, your mind will only look for evidence to support that idea. Ex. Bitcoin is the future. So you only see evidence that Bitcoin is the future, like when Bitcoin reached $1k, and you only know positive Bitcoin facts, but ignore the possible flaws like Mt Gox crashing caused entire Bitcoin prices to plummet. That is an example of confirmation bias, and that is what I figured out was the root of my problematic thinking.

It basically started with the idea seed of someone telling me so many different stereotypes he had! "Stay away from the kinds of people who do so and so because they are so and so" and during dinner "You have to eat properly like this and people who don't are so and so". "These kinds of people do so and so because they are so and so."

I don't want to go too deep into it, but I took his word that he was right. He lived a pretty good life, making a good living, good body, house, girlfriend, etc, so I was like, yeah this guy knows what he's talking about. Anyway he basically 'taught' me incorrect things, I didn't give second thought to what he was saying. He even said something like "yeah people are always trying to bring you down" or "yeah people are the worst gotta watch out who you talking to"

What got me the worst was when he said things like "You know these kinds of girls who do this and this are very so and so! They will only ruin your life, stay away from them!" I didn't have anything to counter his evidence at the time, I was so stupid and so accepting. I used to go outside and meet new people all the time at different places, but since he told me "blah blah majority of people are worthless blah blah they will only bring you down" I became VERY skeptical about everyone I met!

Thanks to the Confirmation Bias, I started to see it in people. When he said "the kinds of people who do so and so are so and so" I was like 'holy shit he's right about that one thing this one time, so therefore he has always been right about everything he just said!' tore my mind apart.

Honestly I abandoned some of my friends of that time period. Actually no, I abandoned practically all of them and became reclusive. I then started forming my own confirmation biases about everyday life situations that I'm in, and that's really what's killing me now. I basically only looked for evidence to support my theories and not anything to the contrary. Which is completely wrong.

You might not think someone's advice could be so life changing, but yeah, they were. He said these things with such fiery passion and in such an honest and informative voice that I just accepted it.

One of my own really dumb confirmation bias I came up with thanks to this guy, is that people in cars hate people in bikes. I actually ride my bike a lot and it was honestly one of the most relaxing things I could ever do. Thanks to this confirmation bias though, I looked it up online, fair enough on Twitter people were talking about hating cyclists, there are even facebook pages dedicated to it, articles, lots of stuff. Then when I went bike riding recently I started to notice cars a lot more and did my best to please them, not getting in their way, trying to use the sidewalks as much as possible, and being very careful as not to get run over when I've been cycling for years without really caring or even seeing other cars or vehicles on the road. Now I see them everywhere.

I have a few of these biases that I made up and they are surely being removed. I'll open up more and maybe reveal the more horrible ones I have as I become more comfortable in feeling that they have been solved.

[ManeBjorn]

That is good news, you have a way to go forward.
I did that for quite a while as well I just never knew until now that you posted this what it was. 
Thanks for sharing this it actually helps me too.
This must give you peace of mind moving forward and a place to start from.  I am happy you have started getting answers.

Today I did not get to go to my doctors appointment, lake effect snow between me and his office.  Now another week of waiting.
I had another bad fall yesterday too.  I was walking down the hallway to the bedroom and my leg decided to give out.  I managed to smack my head into the door jamb trying to catch myself.

On top of it all my replacement mainboard finally came in and turns out when the old board died it fried my PSU and CPU too.  No money to replace them.  I just cannot win some days.  Now I am stuck with my old laptop for internet access and nothing to control some of my mining gear.

I'm so tired I feel if I did not have bad luck there would be none in my life somedays.

Hey ManeBjorn, hope you are feeling well. I just want to add an update to my situation if you care to read it. It's long but hopefully it makes sense.

I am getting closer and closer to fixing my problem! Woohoo! It is awesome.

I found out what the leading cause of it was. Confirmation bias. Confirmation bias is when if you think of a certain idea that may or may not be true, your mind will only look for evidence to support that idea. Ex. Bitcoin is the future. So you only see evidence that Bitcoin is the future, like when Bitcoin reached $1k, and you only know positive Bitcoin facts, but ignore the possible flaws like Mt Gox crashing caused entire Bitcoin prices to plummet. That is an example of confirmation bias, and that is what I figured out was the root of my problematic thinking.

It basically started with the idea seed of someone telling me so many different stereotypes he had! "Stay away from the kinds of people who do so and so because they are so and so" and during dinner "You have to eat properly like this and people who don't are so and so". "These kinds of people do so and so because they are so and so."

I don't want to go too deep into it, but I took his word that he was right. He lived a pretty good life, making a good living, good body, house, girlfriend, etc, so I was like, yeah this guy knows what he's talking about. Anyway he basically 'taught' me incorrect things, I didn't give second thought to what he was saying. He even said something like "yeah people are always trying to bring you down" or "yeah people are the worst gotta watch out who you talking to"

What got me the worst was when he said things like "You know these kinds of girls who do this and this are very so and so! They will only ruin your life, stay away from them!" I didn't have anything to counter his evidence at the time, I was so stupid and so accepting. I used to go outside and meet new people all the time at different places, but since he told me "blah blah majority of people are worthless blah blah they will only bring you down" I became VERY skeptical about everyone I met!

Thanks to the Confirmation Bias, I started to see it in people. When he said "the kinds of people who do so and so are so and so" I was like 'holy shit he's right about that one thing this one time, so therefore he has always been right about everything he just said!' tore my mind apart.

Honestly I abandoned some of my friends of that time period. Actually no, I abandoned practically all of them and became reclusive. I then started forming my own confirmation biases about everyday life situations that I'm in, and that's really what's killing me now. I basically only looked for evidence to support my theories and not anything to the contrary. Which is completely wrong.

You might not think someone's advice could be so life changing, but yeah, they were. He said these things with such fiery passion and in such an honest and informative voice that I just accepted it.

One of my own really dumb confirmation bias I came up with thanks to this guy, is that people in cars hate people in bikes. I actually ride my bike a lot and it was honestly one of the most relaxing things I could ever do. Thanks to this confirmation bias though, I looked it up online, fair enough on Twitter people were talking about hating cyclists, there are even facebook pages dedicated to it, articles, lots of stuff. Then when I went bike riding recently I started to notice cars a lot more and did my best to please them, not getting in their way, trying to use the sidewalks as much as possible, and being very careful as not to get run over when I've been cycling for years without really caring or even seeing other cars or vehicles on the road. Now I see them everywhere.

I have a few of these biases that I made up and they are surely being removed. I'll open up more and maybe reveal the more horrible ones I have as I become more comfortable in feeling that they have been solved.

[cookiemonsterwhat]

That really sucks on having a terrible day.

You know what makes you happy, so do that. Outside from the health conditions you described.

I usually like to expand my view by watching vice.

[Kiki112]

That really sucks on having a terrible day.

You know what makes you happy, so do that. Outside from the health conditions you described.

I usually like to expand my view by watching vice.

yeah, you can also light up a joint with a couple of friends and everything sad will disappear

[ManeBjorn]

I love going outside.  We live rural and I do that when I can.  The snow storms and sub-zero weather kill that lately though. LOL

That really sucks on having a terrible day.

You know what makes you happy, so do that. Outside from the health conditions you described.

I usually like to expand my view by watching vice.

[ManeBjorn]

I have never used anything like that.
Not sure if it would be a good idea now with all the trouble I have walking.

That really sucks on having a terrible day.

You know what makes you happy, so do that. Outside from the health conditions you described.

I usually like to expand my view by watching vice.

yeah, you can also light up a joint with a couple of friends and everything sad will disappear