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Author Topic: [Humor] Proof of Suicide  (Read 1947 times)
cbeast
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Let's talk governance, lipstick, and pigs.


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February 20, 2014, 01:19:39 AM
 #1

This is a pre-announcement a new type of coin for truly dedicated and hardcore cryptocurrency enthusiasts. If destroying the environment through Proof of Work, throwing away your freedom to monopolistic fascists through Proof of Stake, or sacrificing your children's future through Proof of Burn are not up to your standards of dedication, then consider Proof of Suicide! There is rumor that a super secret cabal has been meeting at Mister Hyde Island to create the ultimate form of money. It works like this: Simply have your next of kin send an official copy of your death certificate and suicide note to the Suicide Coin Foundation and they will send them coins based upon key elements of your death. The coroner report will determine how much coin will be sent based upon certain criteria such as pain and suffering. They can't tell you exactly how, because that would decrease entropy in the distribution. Suffice to say that the more painful your death and the sadness of your note will be determining factors. Also, you need to hurry, because everyone will want these and when everyone dies, there won't be anywhere to spend them.

A special cryptographic transaction type based upon double-suicide is being developed as this is written. It will be a truly secure method of mitigating counterparty risk. Also in early development is the Jonestown Protocol that will be capable of handling many transactions quickly and irreversibly.

The announcement for this exciting new currency will be presented by the new development team as soon as the original members can be replaced. They were so excited, they decided to test it on themselves! Howabout that for dedication? Watch this thread for updates and start practicing those suicide notes!

Any significantly advanced cryptocurrency is indistinguishable from Ponzi Tulips.
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DanielVG
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I want free lunch, i'm gonna go with this guy.


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February 20, 2014, 01:22:27 AM
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So.....in the end there's just one person left on the planet that has all the coins?

Don't underestimate the power of greed.




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGFXGwHsD_A
cbeast
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Let's talk governance, lipstick, and pigs.


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February 23, 2014, 02:01:42 PM
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Here are some FAQ TAKEN FROM A Q&A on reddit

Q: Sounds good. But what about the malleability of the suicide notes?

A: The team is working on that. It will effect the exchanges in a positive way by actually adding value to the Proof of Suicide due to an act of malice. This will actually incentivise such tampering as part of the Jonestown Protocol.

Q:This is really fucked up. Do you have a white paper?

A: I am only reporting a rumor, but I've also heard of a white paper. It is written on the tanned skin of a Vestal Virgin in the blood of its founder as he was exsanguinated by blind and deaf children thinking he was a piñata.

Q: Are Vegans an acceptable substitute? There aren't any virgins around, but there are quite a few snarky vegans hanging around the cafeteria.

Q: Is there a mining pool?

A: Great question! No, but there is The Dead Pool http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094963/

Q: Is it P2P?

A: That is another great question! I'm afraid I'll have to defer that to the devs. However, what I can say is that they are working on "pay to perish" as a protocol extension.

Q: Any word on what 3-letter code we're using on Ripple to designate this? XSC?

A: Hardcore cryptocurrency users that use Suicide Coin don't need abbreviations and the only Ripple they use comes in a bottle. I have seen it abbreviated by devs as x_x

Q: Hopefully it will allow multisignature transactions too

A: That's called a suicide-pact packet. It works best with six people using a revolver loaded with however many bullets are required out of six with a standard issue .38 cal.

Q: But what about nTimeLock? Isn't those tricky to pull off?

A: X_X has as an even better implementation called nTimesUp. The Suicide Foundation knows a guy who knows a guy that will take care of you when your time comes.

Q: This seems flawed. How do you differentiate suicide vs other methods of death? How do you prevent someone causing a relative an immensely painful death because they know they will inherit the funds? I don't think you've thought this coin through. However, I am willing to invest in it. Let me know when you launch.

A: Like I said, I'm just going by what I heard. The whole suicide determination thing has me puzzled too. Sure, any Joe Shmoe coroner may be fooled by your suicide, but one of those Quincy/Bones types might see through your ruse to get more coins. The protocol solves what what has puzzled pundits and paparazzi for years known as the Cobain Conundrum. As far as what the devs call a Kevorkian, or a family assisted suicide, well let's just say that it is checked by the protocol as well. as far as the launch goes, they are planning to time it with the next Mt Gox fuck up.

Q: Actually this could be useful. Allocating 1 of these to each anonymous account as a prerequisite of dealing with them might actually make things more civilized. You can always make the world a better place, if you're an asshole, by removing yourself from it.

A: Exactly. That's part of the Jonestown Protocol if you run the electrocutem client. It's great to find someone as enthusiastic as the former devs. You might want to let them know so they can interview you. You may be asked to take the blue or red pill. But trust me, it won't matter.

Any significantly advanced cryptocurrency is indistinguishable from Ponzi Tulips.
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