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Author Topic: Bitcoin Corruption (Satire, kind-of)  (Read 1091 times)
Red
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October 18, 2011, 05:55:59 PM
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Seriously, has anyone noticed that the "Donate Bitcoins to..." trend is equivalent to the "Sell your Bitcoins now!" trend?

What do you think all of these people are going to do with the donated Bitcoins they receive? They are going to sell them ASAP for the fiat currency they need to sustain their (whatever).

If you really wanted to build the Bitcoin economy you would be telling people to buy Bitcoins to make use of their singularly unique properties. For example:

"Buy Bitcoins NOW! Then use your BTC to untraceably funnel money to your Washington lobbyists!"

If you hate lobbyists, how about:

"Say F*** You to Campaign Finance Reform! Use Bitcoins!"

or

"Need a building permit in a hurry? Bitcoin are the ultimate palm grease!"

I mean really, the best thing about corruption is there is a huge trickle down effect. You bribe one guy, and he bribes his minions, who bribe the minions of others. No need to rush back to the exchanges with each bribe.

You use this promotion plan and every bar and restaurant in Washington DC will be accepting Bitcoins in no time. Once Bitcoin becomes cool in DC, NY and Chicago are soon to follow.
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Red
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October 18, 2011, 07:41:21 PM
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Awe come on! Not a single comment. It was at least worth a smile!

Can someone move this to Politics & Society if I'm too far off-topic?
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October 18, 2011, 07:47:08 PM
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Seriously, has anyone noticed that the "Donate Bitcoins to..." trend is equivalent to the "Sell your Bitcoins now!" trend?

What do you think all of these people are going to do with the donated Bitcoins they receive? They are going to sell them ASAP for the fiat currency they need to sustain their (whatever).

If you really wanted to build the Bitcoin economy you would be telling people to buy Bitcoins to make use of their singularly unique properties. For example:

"Buy Bitcoins NOW! Then use your BTC to untraceably funnel money to your Washington lobbyists!"

If you hate lobbyists, how about:

"Say F*** You to Campaign Finance Reform! Use Bitcoins!"

or

"Need a building permit in a hurry? Bitcoin are the ultimate palm grease!"

I mean really, the best thing about corruption is there is a huge trickle down effect. You bribe one guy, and he bribes his minions, who bribe the minions of others. No need to rush back to the exchanges with each bribe.

You use this promotion plan and every bar and restaurant in Washington DC will be accepting Bitcoins in no time. Once Bitcoin becomes cool in DC, NY and Chicago are soon to follow.


This is the one that I'm surprised hasn't taken off:

Quote
"Need a building permit in a hurry? Bitcoin are the ultimate palm grease!"

A politician could easily ignore campaign reform. Limited by how much you want to donate, I'll take whatever extra in Bitcoin. Simply wave your Android over my Android (The Official Politician Thank You Handshake).

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October 18, 2011, 08:08:29 PM
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Simply wave your Android over my Android (The Official Politician Thank You Handshake).

Woot! Exactly! Changing the world, one politician at a time...

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October 21, 2011, 12:46:46 PM
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Trickle Down Economics: Bribery Version

What happens if a guy takes a bribe in Bitcoins and the BTC/$ drops in price before he can get them to market and sell them?

Does the briber have to make up the difference, does the bribee have to eat it, or does the bribee hold onto it and hope the price goes back up.

Could make an interesting premise for a Law And Order or CSI show depending on what the bribee does. Of course it could be accomplished with precious metals too.

I should Copyright this idea just in case someone tries to use it. Smiley

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October 21, 2011, 01:07:03 PM
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Trickle Down Economics: Bribery Version

What happens if a guy takes a bribe in Bitcoins and the BTC/$ drops in price before he can get them to market and sell them?

Does the briber have to make up the difference, does the bribee have to eat it, or does the bribee hold onto it and hope the price goes back up.

Could make an interesting premise for a Law And Order or CSI show depending on what the bribee does. Of course it could be accomplished with precious metals too.

I should Copyright this idea just in case someone tries to use it. Smiley


  Good questions. I've none for the what would the bribee do. But I can say they would not do so with precious metals because some nosey bastard would snap a photo of bribee loading said metals into his trunk. ;p  Where the bitcoin thing would be a lot easier to hide. Not perfect, but a lot less suspicious to start with.

If you're not excited by the idea of being an early adopter 'now', then you should come back in three or four years and either tell us "Told you it'd never work!" or join what should, by then, be a much more stable and easier-to-use system. - GA
It is being worked on by smart people. -DamienBlack
Phinnaeus Gage
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October 21, 2011, 01:56:46 PM
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Trickle Down Economics: Bribery Version

What happens if a guy takes a bribe in Bitcoins and the BTC/$ drops in price before he can get them to market and sell them?

Does the briber have to make up the difference, does the bribee have to eat it, or does the bribee hold onto it and hope the price goes back up.

Could make an interesting premise for a Law And Order or CSI show depending on what the bribee does. Of course it could be accomplished with precious metals too.

I should Copyright this idea just in case someone tries to use it. Smiley

That's the risk the bribee has to take. If a normal bribe is $10,000, he can request $12,500 in BTC. Then again, even if the bottom falls out, it was free money, nonetheless. On the other hand, the bribe may increase ten fold. It's a gamble, just like it's a gamble to take the bribe in the first place.

Side note: I would love to sell $100,000 worth of lumber a year, paid in Bitcoin. See the tax advantage? It's costing me about $5,000 a year in credit card transactions, alone. Albeit, I do get a lot of sales in cash, but most are in the form of checks. Yes, I currently do monkey the books to lower my tax liability, but the IRS may not even see that chuck of change if I didn't own a salvage company.

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grndzero
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October 22, 2011, 02:50:14 AM
 #8

Trickle Down Economics: Bribery Version

What happens if a guy takes a bribe in Bitcoins and the BTC/$ drops in price before he can get them to market and sell them?

Does the briber have to make up the difference, does the bribee have to eat it, or does the bribee hold onto it and hope the price goes back up.

Could make an interesting premise for a Law And Order or CSI show depending on what the bribee does. Of course it could be accomplished with precious metals too.

I should Copyright this idea just in case someone tries to use it. Smiley


  Good questions. I've none for the what would the bribee do. But I can say they would not do so with precious metals because some nosey bastard would snap a photo of bribee loading said metals into his trunk. ;p  Where the bitcoin thing would be a lot easier to hide. Not perfect, but a lot less suspicious to start with.

$10,000 in gold would be a relatively small amount, basically equivalent to a handful/small pouch of coins. Silver would be another matter.

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grndzero
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October 22, 2011, 02:55:45 AM
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That's the risk the bribee has to take. If a normal bribe is $10,000, he can request $12,500 in BTC. Then again, even if the bottom falls out, it was free money, nonetheless. On the other hand, the bribe may increase ten fold. It's a gamble, just like it's a gamble to take the bribe in the first place.


Good counter point that I didn't think of. If the bribe increased 10x in value the briber could come back threaten to break knee caps and/or kill the bribee for part or all of the value/difference. Taking a bribe is a gamble, what happens when the gamble pays off 10x in value when your dealing with people of shady character to start with.

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