Time to get my brain back on track - detox and rehab in 1 week

[sickhouse]

Been planning this for over 2 months but just now starting to realize how tough it's going to be. Started smoking weed and taking pill recreationally 4 years ago, 2 years ago I lost my drivers license and that crushed me. I started self medicating on Benzos, Rivotil more specifically. In addition to that I started taking more and more opioids, pregabalin, opiates - whatever I could get my hands on.
Discovered SR, what a great place.. Many BTC exchanged for drugs, when it went down I went straight to BMR, when they quit I stopped ordering from 'darknet'. Propably 50 orders have gone over the borders without any problems, just got caught once and that was from a high risk country.
I usually jumped from drug to drug to avoid a super bad could turkey, but the Benzos stuck with me through the last 2 years. I have very little memory of what's happend the last 2 years, and I am physically dependant on Benzos, propably going to get a slap in the face from Subutex as well during the detox..

I've mixed deadly combos very many times, it went from weekend to daily with the Methadone/Sub/Morphine+Benso+Alcohol for a while.. I've mixed shit like that over 100 times easy (I am not proud of this) without thinking about my family and friends, I just wanted to be as calm as possible and get the anxiety as far away as possible (have had problems with anxiety since I was 15 or so) - the fact that I am alive is more or less a miracle...

I can retake my license later this summer and then I have to stay away from drugs for at least 6 months since they can call me in for random drug testing. That's mainly why I could make the decision to quit this life, I have had a knife to my throat, been physically attacked by crazy fucks, have had to explain to friends with psychosis that what they think aren't real for many hours, and more - what a life that is! I plan on staying away from alcohol as well because I know if I see a pill when I am drunk I am going to take it, plus I a bottle per day for weeks during a summer before I started with other drugs.. Got bad genes from father and both grandfathers, it's everything or nothing for me - sadly. Threw away some GBL today but that was mainly because it didn't work very well - only in combination with Subutex and a couple of beers I got a nice feeling from it but I was scared when I went to bed that I wouldn't wake up. Anyway I survived that as well, 3 times in total with that mix..

Some of you are propably in the same situation or similar, after all it's a Bitcoin forum   - maybe this thread can help you take the step out because this life sucks! I'm not talking about stoners even though I think smoking weed 24/7 is bad, your memory is severly fucked there as well - the pills are what you need to stay away from, if you are going to keep doing it do it with rationality and not every day..

If you are going to start abusing pills at least stay away from Benso (and Lyrica/pregabalin) - ironically enough it's the most addictive pill (physically), made for doctors to prescribe to "help" people, the Pharmacy companies like Pfizer, Roche etc are the devil on earth. Here is what I may have to face; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benzodiazepine_withdrawal_syndrome
Simply put not worth it. It's pretty much a chemical lobotomy, people on Benzo go around in a fog with half the brain in sleep mode..

[roslinpl]

I wish you all best with your rehab.

Hard drugs like those pills are life takers.  Better to keep away from all drugs..


Ps. Weed is not a drug for me but for someone might be harmless too.


Good luck.

[Vod]

Sorry to hear about your problems.   

I, too, have an addictive personality.  If I ever get any weed, I will smoke it 24x7 until it's gone. So I never buy the stuff.

[miketonic]

Good luck with your rehab! Drugs can be a bitch..

[hilariousandco]

Well this thread explains a lot, but good luck. I think pills, especially prescription painkillers, can do more harm that good in the longrun. Lots of people get quickly and accidentally addicted to them.

[backtrackit]

Good luck mate

[roslinpl]

Good luck mate

Good luck indeed !!! We all wish you to success and keep your head up!

[rmines]

It's a good thing you realize you have a problem and even better that you want to do something about it.
Best of luck with your detox and rehab!

[lemfuture]

Sorry to hear about your problems.   

I, too, have an addictive personality.  If I ever get any weed, I will smoke it 24x7 until it's gone. So I never buy the stuff.

this apply to me, but with chocolate

[hilariousandco]

Sorry to hear about your problems.   

I, too, have an addictive personality.  If I ever get any weed, I will smoke it 24x7 until it's gone. So I never buy the stuff.

this apply to me, but with chocolate

Haha. Funny thing is people can actually get addicted to chocolate.

[boumalo]

Good for you, stick with the plan and with the rehab even when it is tough

From wiki : "Not every long-term user will experience symptoms upon discontinuation, but the proportion of those who will has been variably estimated to be between 15% and 44%" so maybe you will get lucky

I think you made the right choice to quit drinking as well, there is no place to just have a few drinks for you apparently it is way too dangerous; keep us update

[sickhouse]

We may not see eye to Eye but I wish you the best of luck on your new life

Hehe indeed Thanks!

[sickhouse]

Good for you, stick with the plan and with the rehab even when it is tough

From wiki : "Not every long-term user will experience symptoms upon discontinuation, but the proportion of those who will has been variably estimated to be between 15% and 44%" so maybe you will get lucky

I think you made the right choice to quit drinking as well, there is no place to just have a few drinks for you apparently it is way too dangerous; keep us update

Well in my experience (I've taken Cold turkeys on opiods and Lyrica) my withdrawal symptons are worse than most peoples... But could be worse I guess - I have gotten really lucky, first rehab at one of the best clinics in the country then rehab at a non-12 step place. Gonna be hard to update, not allowed to use computers untill I am clean I think - but in roughly 2 months it all ought to have gone away.

[sickhouse]

It's a good thing you realize you have a problem and even better that you want to do something about it.
Best of luck with your detox and rehab!

Been realising that for a very long time, always been honest towards everyone and everyone includes me. I've always called myself a junkie since I started abusing towards friends since that what I am, too bad society has a bad eye towards junkies (most of us doesn't steal nor drive in 150 mp/h on meth, and the majority doesn't use needles either). But fuck this shit hurt my mother so much and she's been through a lot.

[sickhouse]

Well this thread explains a lot, but good luck. I think pills, especially prescription painkillers, can do more harm that good in the longrun. Lots of people get quickly and accidentally addicted to them.

Propably does Well it depends - Benzo you usually doesn't have use for unless you suffer from anxiety - trust me, the benzos does a lot of damage long term (it's like walking around in a foggy brain as an empty shell after a while), as well as opiates - painkillers, aka morphine and in some cases Sub/Methadone are faster to get addicted to and can be fun to play with even without anxiety. But the withdrawal from opiates is fast compared to Benzo.

[sickhouse]

Sorry to hear about your problems.   

I, too, have an addictive personality.  If I ever get any weed, I will smoke it 24x7 until it's gone. So I never buy the stuff.

Yeah, I almost drank myself to death thanks to that personality (everything must be emptied and I can stay awake even while drinking twice as much as the ordinary person), it sucks ass, good and wise decision from your side.

[sickhouse]

I wish you all best with your rehab.

Hard drugs like those pills are life takers.  Better to keep away from all drugs..


Ps. Weed is not a drug for me but for someone might be harmless too.


Good luck.

Indeed it is... I haven't had a death near me yet (amazing) but people online that I've talked to a lot have died from OD's. The guy I knew best I had spent many many hours on MSN with and it came like a chock even tho I never met him IRL. I didn't cry but I think a lot about it since I still got his skype and he died around 8 hours from the last chat we had =/ Research chemical morphine+alcohol...

Well weed is a drug in the sense of the word but its very mild (altho it's not good when the weed goes above 25% THC, larger risk of psychosis).

[sickhouse]

Thanks for the kind words everybody!! I appriceate them more than you could ever know, I'm almost in tears (lolgay) but that's also because of the mixed feelings 7 days before the rehab (Im gonna stick to it mark my words, I wont fail this already failed enough, but my brain shouts NO NO WE NEED IT!!!).

P.S I am going to try LSD at least once after when I am no longer depressed and have fixed my anxiety issues, also might eat shrooms 2-3 times a year (they grow here for a short period). May sound bad to the person who isn't well read on the drug subject but LSD is not addictive and neither are the shrooms.

[MysteryMiner]

The rehab doctors will make chemical lobotomy to you. You will be more fcked up after that than by taking your drugs. I can suggest to try working things out in your life with psychotherapist and staying away from medication. Get drunk on beer and Vodka once in month if You feel to need to switch your brain off for one evening.

[backtrackit]

Thanks for the kind words everybody!! I appriceate them more than you could ever know, I'm almost in tears (lolgay) but that's also because of the mixed feelings 7 days before the rehab (Im gonna stick to it mark my words, I wont fail this already failed enough, but my brain shouts NO NO WE NEED IT!!!).

P.S I am going to try LSD at least once after when I am no longer depressed and have fixed my anxiety issues, also might eat shrooms 2-3 times a year (they grow here for a short period). May sound bad to the person who isn't well read on the drug subject but LSD is not addictive and neither are the shrooms.

shrooms and LSD is a good way of getting a different perspective on things, two to three times a year is a good plan, do it too much and it loses the "magic". Had some fun times with them  .