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Author Topic: Alright, I am going to ask for advice.  (Read 1274 times)
I.Goldstein
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October 27, 2011, 02:21:01 AM
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I know absolutely nothing about this girl. We hit it off with a witty philosophical discussion at the end of her period and she gave me her number. I talked to her this morning asking about a previous email and she apologized for not responding fast enough.  Roll Eyes

Anyways, she nervously proposes I hang out at her house some time this weekend and I just ignored it because 1) I don't know squat about her and 2) it makes me question her motives. She seemed a bit disappointed I didn't take her up on the offer but I rather do something less close, if you will.

Should I have taken her up on it? Should I have any regrets? ...or should I just stick to my plan of proposing some weekend fun later this week?

What I am really asking is what is standard when it comes to meeting new people like this with mismatched schedules? Is it okay to take risks with people you hardly know? I mean, I find myself nervous walking into a person's house I hardly know. I mean, really, it turns me off completely. : \

Just share your wisdom with making on-the-spot new friends/relationships, if you will. Thanks.
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deslok
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October 27, 2011, 02:27:47 AM
 #2

she wants you to go to her house and you question her motives? get out of the philosopy and go for the girl you dunce

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October 27, 2011, 02:34:05 AM
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If you're 10 I could understand that.  I'll assume you are a bit older than that.  Really the help you need is to get a better channel for advice.

How will you get to know them if you don't hang out?  If you are nervous she is going to slice you up for stew and put you in the freezer, try a public place thing first - nothing dramatic, but then either of you can back out if it goes horribly wrong.

If they're nice, what's the worst that can happen?  (ignore the freezer comment above)
I.Goldstein
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October 27, 2011, 02:34:37 AM
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she wants you to go to her house and you question her motives? get out of the philosopy and go for the girl you dunce

Look, I can tell she is physically attracted to me but I want more than that. Frankly, I don't like it at all. I'd prefer if I had to work for her admiration. I would hate to have a relationship with her just based on that... That's all I am really afraid of.
deslok
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October 27, 2011, 02:42:02 AM
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relationships evolve both physically and mentally in paralell, albiet with starts and stops on either side you can't ignore one because you're affraid of the other

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I.Goldstein
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October 27, 2011, 02:45:57 AM
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relationships evolve both physically and mentally in paralell, albiet with starts and stops on either side you can't ignore one because you're affraid of the other
I don't prefer the other. I guess I'll have to compromise.
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October 27, 2011, 02:46:26 AM
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I think you should have taken her up on it, however I also think there's no point having regrets. You did what you thought best at the time.

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October 27, 2011, 02:49:16 AM
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How will you get to know them if you don't hang out?  If you are nervous she is going to slice you up for stew and put you in the freezer, try a public place thing first - nothing dramatic, but then either of you can back out if it goes horribly wrong.

If they're nice, what's the worst that can happen?  (ignore the freezer comment above)

I agree, meet on neutral grounds and you might find you have more in common then just a physical attraction. It'd be worth the risk imo.
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October 27, 2011, 02:54:21 AM
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Look, I can tell she is physically attracted to me but I want more than that. Frankly, I don't like it at all. I'd prefer if I had to work for her admiration. I would hate to have a relationship with her just based on that... That's all I am really afraid of.

She wants to hang out with you.  That's how people get to know whether more than just a physical attraction exists between them.  Maybe you'll just gain a new friend.  Maybe you'll develop a romantic relationship.  Maybe you'll discover that you don't really have much in common and don't really enjoy each other's company that much.

You have a measure of control here.  A relationship based purely on physical attraction can't happen without you letting it happen.  She's interested in getting to know you.  Maybe she'll come to admire you, maybe she won't.  Stop getting ahead of yourself and go hang out with her.  Suggest an alternative venue if you feel extremely uncomfortable about hanging out at her house.

Take some risks.  Feel the fear and do it anyway.

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BitMagic
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October 27, 2011, 03:12:06 AM
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She wants to hang out with you.  That's how people get to know whether more than just a physical attraction exists between them.  Maybe you'll just gain a new friend.  Maybe you'll develop a romantic relationship.  Maybe you'll discover that you don't really have much in common and don't really enjoy each other's company that much.

You have a measure of control here.  A relationship based purely on physical attraction can't happen without you letting it happen.  She's interested in getting to know you.  Maybe she'll come to admire you, maybe she won't.  Stop getting ahead of yourself and go hang out with her.  Suggest an alternative venue if you feel extremely uncomfortable about hanging out at her house.

Take some risks.  Feel the fear and do it anyway.

Exactly this. This is where you start. She knows nothing about you besides how you look. What do you expect her to feel?

Go get to know her, and understand that if you were ever to have a deep relationship with someone, you damn well better feel attracted to her (and vice versa).

You're overanalyzing. Go in with no expectations, stop worrying, and have fun with someone.

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October 27, 2011, 03:24:02 AM
 #11

I know absolutely nothing about this girl. We hit it off with a witty philosophical discussion at the end of her period and she gave me her number. I talked to her this morning asking about a previous email and she apologized for not responding fast enough.  Roll Eyes

Anyways, she nervously proposes I hang out at her house some time this weekend and I just ignored it because 1) I don't know squat about her and 2) it makes me question her motives. She seemed a bit disappointed I didn't take her up on the offer but I rather do something less close, if you will.

Should I have taken her up on it? Should I have any regrets? ...or should I just stick to my plan of proposing some weekend fun later this week?

What I am really asking is what is standard when it comes to meeting new people like this with mismatched schedules? Is it okay to take risks with people you hardly know? I mean, I find myself nervous walking into a person's house I hardly know. I mean, really, it turns me off completely. : \

Just share your wisdom with making on-the-spot new friends/relationships, if you will. Thanks.

This thread better be good! For the last minute and a half, I've been laughing my ass off and so far I'm still on the first line ready to read what's after the word "period".

OK. Finished reading. Had to reread that sentence with the word period in it. I thought..., but I guess I was wrong. Allow me to be blunt here. It looks like she wants to be f...ed. Do the Bitcoin community proud and go for it. You'll be a better man when it's all said and done.

Bruno

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October 27, 2011, 03:37:46 AM
 #12

Look, I can tell she is physically attracted to me but I want more than that. Frankly, I don't like it at all. I'd prefer if I had to work for her admiration.

Sounds like you don't want her if you don't have to win her. This is normal. Stupid, but normal.

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bitleaker
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October 27, 2011, 05:16:51 AM
 #13

she wants you to go to her house and you question her motives? get out of the philosopy and go for the girl you dunce

Look, I can tell she is physically attracted to me but I want more than that. Frankly, I don't like it at all. I'd prefer if I had to work for her admiration. I would hate to have a relationship with her just based on that... That's all I am really afraid of.

Why not offer to pay for her time if that would make you feel more comfortable?

Ask her what she would deem to be a fair hourly rate, and offer to pay her in bitcoins?
deslok
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October 27, 2011, 11:57:11 AM
 #14

If he wants to pay a girl by the hour or the minute I've got one he can talk to as long as he wants for just one Coin per minute about anything he wants.

"If we don't hang together, by Heavens we shall hang separately." - Benjamin Franklin

If you found that funny or something i said useful i always appreciate spare change
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ovidiusoft
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October 27, 2011, 01:10:14 PM
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OP, no matter what you do, don't forget to secure your wallet.dat Smiley
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October 27, 2011, 05:00:54 PM
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Quote
Is it okay to take risks with people you hardly know? I mean, I find myself nervous walking into a person's house I hardly know. I mean, really, it turns me off completely. : \

Just go for it, have confidence in yourself and don't be nervous.

Quote
“There is only one security, and when you've lost that security, you've lost everything you've got. And that is the security of confidence in yourself; to be, to create, to make any position you want to make for yourself. And when you lose that confidence, you've lost the only security you can have. ... Self-confidence is self-determinism. One's belief in one's ability to determine his own course. As long as one has that, he's got the universe in his pocket. And when he hasn't got that, not all the pearls in China nor all the grain and corn in Iowa can give him security, because that's the only security there is.”

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BitMagic
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October 27, 2011, 05:04:36 PM
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So, uh, thread closed due to lack of interest?

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greyhawk
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October 27, 2011, 05:09:24 PM
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it makes me question her motives.

 Roll Eyes

She want's you to put your bitcoin into her coinslot.
BillX
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October 27, 2011, 05:15:10 PM
 #19

Atlas, you're a classic drama queen.
I.Goldstein
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October 27, 2011, 05:35:21 PM
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So, uh, thread closed due to lack of interest?
Sure. Thanks for all the advice, gentlemen.
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