💰Write a spoof review of traditional money to win Bitcoin with Cloudbet! 💰

[Cloudbet]

Good morning all!

As we warm our hands over the charred remains of another Walmart decimated in the wake of black Friday, we gather together in another pagan celebration of rampant consumerism - Cyber Monday!

For those not in the know, Cyber Monday came about when a bunch of big corporation executives looked around and asked themselves: “Is there really enough days dedicated to buying stuff we don’t need?” So in the spirit of global capitalism, we thought it was high time that users of fiat currency became more aware of the flaws in their false idol - we’d hate for anyone to be disappointed with the dollars, pounds or yen in their wallets

We want you to review your local fiat currency! Let us know your star rating, and how satisfied you are with the value, function, and applications available with fiat. Here's an example to get those creative juices flowing:


Satoshi Nakamoto
* (1 Star)
US Dollars
Tried it a couple of times and the results were disappointing. Updates were uncalled for and made the product worse.
Plus, terrible customer support from the manufacturer. You're better off making your own! Stay Away!


You can be as creative as you want and review any element of fiat currency in text or image format. Banks, credit cards, Zimbabwean dollars. You name it, we want to know if it’s worthy of a five star review or a one star demolition. Would you use it again? Has it let you down while travelling? Maybe it’s not worked as advertised (it’s not a bug, it’s a ‘feature’!)

On the 4th December we’re going to be picking our favourites. The most hilarious, cutting and clever review will win a tasty 0.043 BTC, with 4 runners up claiming 0.017 BTC each.

We’ll also be picking 10 ‘special mentions’, who will receive a commemorative physical bitcoin that we’ll post to you. Because capitalism be damned.

Oh what, you thought we were done?

All entries will go into a raffle to win 0.029 BTC! The time of your entry is your ticket, which will be displayed on a public spreadsheet. Whoever’s entry time matches the last two digits on the hash of the first block mined after 10:00AM UTC on 5th December will win.

So what are you waiting for? Submit your entry below!

[NeuroticFish]

So what are you waiting for?

I wanted to see what other funny reviews you have gathered so far.
But you didn't post a link. So I thought I start from your blog. The first article is about this. I felt lucky, I clicked and... 404 page 
I know it's only a tiny detail and the idea overall is good and funny. So.. just fix it

[Cloudbet]

So what are you waiting for?

I wanted to see what other funny reviews you have gathered so far.
But you didn't post a link. So I thought I start from your blog. The first article is about this. I felt lucky, I clicked and... 404 page 
I know it's only a tiny detail and the idea overall is good and funny. So.. just fix it

Haha you caught our blog team while they were updating the blog with a link to this page, it should be back up now!

I'll tell them they have to be quicker next time 

Good luck with the contest!

[Cloudbet]

Don't forget you can also enter on twitter too if you prefer!

Simply tweet your entries @Cloudbet using the #ReviewFiat hashtag!

I mean we are probably going to annoy the car manufacturers but still....

Have a good night everyone!

[Wendigo]

Cyprus Popular Bank
1 star
25 March 2013
Financial Crisis


They said my hard-earned money would be in safe hands at their bank. They lied.


Day 69 since the banking crisis started.

Woke up early in the morning drenched in sweat, heart pounding. I just can't shake off these terrible nightmares of losing all my savings...

Reached for my phone and went online to check on my bank account. Nope, still frozen...

Microwaved the leftovers from yesterday and had a quick bite, then got dressed for my usual walk to the nearest branch of my bank a few

blocks away. Nope, still closed after a week-long bank holiday... Who the heck gets to have a week-long bank holiday, by the way?!

On my way back home I saw many gloomy faces, there is so much palpable desperation in the air. The sky definitely looks menacing today.

I am starting to feel sick again. We are prisoners in the system they built to safeguard us. But it's not working. It's broken.

I heard about something called Bitcoin on the news tonight. I might check it out before going to bed.

Tomorrow is a new day, a new hope. I want my money back.


Your average Joe

[CryptoSmith1]

How the heck do I post a screenshot of my entry?  lol

I've never used Bitcoin Talk before.

[Dreamchaser21]

Dreamchaser21
* (1 Star)
Philippine Peso - Banco De Oro (Savings Account)

Banco De Oro is considered as the biggest bank in the Philippines where you can put your money and let your money be used for the business of the bank, but make sure that you actively monitor your account or else you will also experience this thing. (See Photos Below) - ctto.



This is a so called Dormant Account where you put money in a bank but being inactive for almost two years. This is an example of a poor banking system that we have here in the Philippines. They are forcing you to be an active account holder so they can have more money to support for their business.

The service charge is very high if you hit the below maintaining balance that banks has set to you. Now because of this, your hard earn money will be gone forever because of this system.

Banco De Oro also have a poor service quality, you have to stand and fall in line while waiting for you to be called by their Teller (a punishment for patronizing the bank), just to withdraw/deposit money to your account. I don't think this kind of service deserve your money considering the very small interest rate that you will receive for lending your money to the bank.

If you are planning to save money in a bank just to earn .10% per annum, you'd better to think again.


Ps: Is this kind of format right? Please let me know. Goodluck Everyone!

[CryptoSmith1]

Well, tried to figure out how to post an image here. No luck. Here is a link to my contest entry:

https://imgur.com/7zRK8J5

[Cloudbet]

Morning all, and welcome to the overnight entries!

The quality here seems to be a little bit higher than Twitter, where most people seem to be reviewing goods and services instead of fiat currency 

While you wait for Monday's announcement on the winners, we have a few other free competitions that might tickle your fancy!

Our Super 6 soccer predictor is in it's 7th week, but there's still plenty to play for on the weekly and overall prize boards!

And there's also our weekly sponsored raffle going on with Krogoth in the 'collectibles' section of the forums - entry is free and there's a pre-loaded Denarium bitcoin up for grabs!

Have a great day!  

Ronnie @ Cloudbet

[Trofo]

Croatian Kuna - 1 star, high SCAM probability

I think it is easiest to approach this review with comparison to Tether. You know how Tether is supposed to backed with fiat dollars? Well, our national currency is called KUNA (translated to English - marten,  an animal like weasel), we even have a graphic of marten on our coin with denomination of 1. With a little bit of logic we can conclude that Croatian government has decided to back our fiat currency on 1:1 ratio to martens. I am hoping we are talking about live animals here, couldn't find reference anywhere.

I have written numerous times this last year and asked Croatian government to provide the proof that they have a live marten stashed somewhere safe and in humane conditions for every fiat coin they print. My emails have gone unanswered. I can't believe that scam of this portions haven't been included on national news. Only conclusion sane person can make is that all our media channels are 100% controlled by government.

Some evidence:
Pic 1 - Croatian Kuna coin with denomination of 1, linked directly from Bank of Croatia site (expect slow loading due to government outdated infrastructure):


Pic 2 & 3: Random Marten pics



Conclusion:
Stay away from this SCAM project, they didn't have a single audit to confirm marten numbers backing their "fiat" money. You have been warned. Since I have decided to publish this publicly I am now afraid for my life. I suspect I will be forced to leave the county and our Croatian Kuna has zero value after I cross the borders. I am now collecting crypto donations in order to be able to pay for food while on the run.

[toastfacekillah]

Hopefully I win this time... My review is for Japanese Yen:

2 stars - Don't believe the hype.

Had a million but lost it on slots. Doesn't travel well either. Couldn't get it to work outside of the country it was made in. Questionable longevity and long term value prospects. AVOID.

[iphro]

MY entry  

https://i.imgur.com/QYnL21j.jpg

[crzy]

crzy
* (1 star)
Nov. 05, 2018
Remittances (USD)

I bought USD at the Blackmarket last Nov. 5 because its cheap compare to the price in bank for the purpose of remittance.

But in order for me to remit that money, I need bank to do that for me so I deposited it on my account.

The time when I approached the teller, I'm happy because after a long line of waiting finally its my turn to deposit.

Suddenly, the teller tells me the horrifying news that I have to pay for the deposit fee that is almost $50 for buying outside their market.

I was shocked that time, and thinking that I don't really save money from buying at the Blackmarket in fact it cost me more.

and I have to think for another fee for remitting that money directly to my supplier, another service charge that banks collecting from our money.

Only if all the companies are accepting cryptocurrency, maybe we don't need to pay for bigger fees that bank's collecting from us.

Don't use bank's for remitting money it will cost you more and a lot of papers that you need to provide for them to process your request,

better to use cryptocurrency/blockchain technology, its more faster and a lot more cheaper.

[Crypto_Sassy]

INR (Indian National Rupee)

3 star

Works fine:  If you have in your pocket it belongs to you ,very similar to bitcoin if you have private keys, it is yours.
Hard Forked: One fine morning Indian government find that there might be problem in existing notes and they hard forked .
Counterfeit:  You never know when you get counterfeit one (that is also one of the reason to hardfork it)
Store of Value: There are lot of anonymous "Hodler" of this currency.  It is rumored that lot of holders have money in Swiss bank .
Centralized : Just like XRP.

[Kriptopsina]

The ruble is a terrific currency.

Every year I have more rubles but less money.

The project team is very strange. She convinces users that they need to keep their savings in rubles. But the team keeps their savings in dollars. But everyone should pretend that no one knows about it.

Smart contract also works very unusually.
The project team claims that the value of the ruble does not depend on the price of oil. But everyone knows that this is not true.
If the price of oil falls, the ruble also falls. But the price of gasoline in Russia is growing. It turns out that the price of gasoline in Russia does not depend on the price of oil. This is the Russian paradox - the prices of goods in rubles are always rising. But the project team says it is not true.

In the blockchain, there are strange chains and connections that lead to offshore. Rumor has it that this is a bribe and money laundering. Everyone knows about it, but the project team does not see it.

The ruble, like a drunk husband, falls all the time, but it's native and all love it.

3 stars!

[Cloudbet]

Some great entries so far!  

For all you lurkers out there, here's some more inspiration from the Cloudbet team!







You can also check out all the competition entries coming in via Twitter by searching the #ReviewFiat hastag!

[Johnyz]

Johnyz
** (2 Star)
Philippine Peso

This is the Biggest money in the world, its value right now is around $1800,

But the cost of this money if you want to own it is around $3300.

You can notice that there's a charge of $1500 if you just want to own big money,

who wants to bring an A4 sized money in the market here?

Collectors will do, but this is a clear scam that is government ever made.

They can earn more than $1500 if they will just print more money like this. 

[taikuri13]

Russian Ruble



1. Premine



2. Team
- Not transparency
- Incompetent
- No whitepaper
- Bad reputation

3. Unlimited Emission



4. Inflation coin



Conclusion: Absolute Scam (0 stars)




Sources:

http://www.bolshoyvopros.ru/questions/1952316-skolko-pechatajut-deneg-v-rossii-i-kto-kontroliruet-etot-process.html
https://goznak.ru/
https://tvzvezda.ru/news/vstrane_i_mire/content/201710131657-b1og.htm
https://www.tradingview.com/chart/?symbol=FX_IDC%3ARUBUSD
https://www.tradingview.com/symbols/RUBUSD/

[Cloudbet]

Those are some strong entries from taikuri13 and Johnyz, welcome to the party pals!  

With the news about Deutsche Bank trending at the moment it could be a fun time to review that particular financial institution  

Don't forget it doesn't just have to be fiat currency that gets reviewed, there's all kinds of fiat backed things to poke fun at: Coins, Cheques, Credit or debit cards, Bank accounts, SWIFT, Wire transfers, Savings accounts, Bank Loans, Mortgages, Inflation, Remittances, Exchange rates, Recessions, and anything else you can think of!

If you get confused you can find full details at the Cloudbet blog

Good luck!

Ronnie @ Cloudbet

[BUSHbuddy]

💰💸💸💸💸 THE BROKE TRILLIONAIREs 💸💸💸💸💰

Product: Zimbabwean dollar

Stars: 1

Date: 2015

Size BILL | Style ZIM DOLLAR

Review: In whichever part of the world you go to, being a trillionare should be something that should translate in being financially stable, probably put you in the league of the Jeff's, Bill Gates, the Warren buffett's of this world and many other elites but unfortunately for our friends in Zimbabwe, this was a worthless currency to own that put everyone no one near this path of being considered an elite. The trillionaires country had huge dolar bills such as the 100 trillion dollar that was equivalent to a dollar which could easily push this free fall currency to the top for being the worst currencies ever. If this was a crypto, this could be the mother of shit coins and I advice everyone to stay away!!! Its devs have ditched this boat and no one is in control !!