Arachnophobia - HELP

[CristianOff]

I can swear to God that I have arachnophobia. I'm an adult and if there is a spider in the room, no matter how small I panic. I want it dead as soon as possible
and I may even need an adult to remove it for me. I really have this problem and I'm exhausted, I don't know where it started, from where it started but I want
it over.
It's over 30 degrees celsius (86 fahrenheit) and I wanted to have a shower before going to bed. Just saw two spiders, one I took the vacuum cleaner and killed it, the other
escaped and started running in the bathroom. I couldn't catch it as I entered in panic. I don't know where it is now but I had to abandon my shower.
I feel so stupid because I'm not afraid of anything else. I can jump from an airplane with the parachute and have no problem. I did pet and hold snakes in my life and even
did super dangerous things.

I know other people are afraid of snakes which I am not. I do not perceive them as threatening but spiders? They are terrible and I hope one day I won't fear them.
Also I would rather not kill them but...  (I'm so sorry to all spiders that met me. Sorry guys, rest in peace all of you).

The worst part that ever happened to me is that I once dreamed I had a spider on me so I jumped out of bed and fall of the stairs (about 1 level/18 stairs because my room is at
first floor of the house). I only realized it was a dream after -_-

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[SaltySpitoon]

I'm not the right person to give you advice on how to overcome it, but I can tell you that it isn't a stupid or irrational fear. Humans have evolved to have special responses to things that post a threat. If images are flashed before your eyes at speeds slightly too fast for your brain to process, you'll still see images of spiders, snakes, worms (because they are similar to snakes), etc as your brain puts extra effort into processing shapes that equate to danger at an evolutionary level. Sorry that I can't suggest some way to help, but I don't want to give you bad advice and send you in the wrong direction towards overcoming your fear. Be careful listening to random people give you advice on things like this, someone might suggest exposure therapy for example, but that could be the worst route to take. I'm sure others with similar fears may have decent feedback for you, but don't get discouraged if something that works for someone doesn't work for you. Mostly what I can contribute to your problem is a little self confidence that you aren't strange and its not irrational. People still get adrenaline spikes going up clear escalators if they have an (evolutionary) fear of heights. Your body's chemical signaling doesn't know that you know enough to differentiate harmful spiders from harmless ones, or that glass keeps you from falling out of an elevator.

[Jet Cash]

I'm not afraid of spiders.I'm in England, so we don't have any that can harm me, and it's the same with snakes. If I lived in a tropical country, then maybe I would think differently. Spiders are an important part of our biodiversity, and you should try to avoid killing them. Their cobwebs can be a nuisance, and I pick them up and throw them into the garden if if find them in the house. If you could force yourself to pick one up, and throw it outside, then that could help you to overcome your fear. Perhaps a friend could give you some support if you want to try this. It might be easier to start by trapping it in a glass.

There is a story about a buddhist monk training a novitiate. He asks him to walk along a plank that is set over a  water filled pool, and the lad manages this without any problems. The monk explains that the pool is filled with acid,and asks him to walk back. Half way across he falls off the plank, this is due to his fear of falling into the water. I don't know how much truth there is in this, but it does show how people can be affected by unreasonable fears.

[CristianOff]

All of you said things that for me are worth giving merits. I really hope I will not fear them one day.

Oh and Jet Cash my brother, I'm also in UK and I know there are not dangerous spiders. I am not afraid of the danger and as the first and second guy mentioned,
I can't process images of how fast they move and I probably enter in panic. Thank you so much guys

[Passionate]

Buddy I also had arachnophobia. I started by touching dead big spiders which have been killed already, then I proceed with touching small to medium sized spiders and killing them with my bare hands when I caught them. Then when there's a big spider, I try to kill the while having the mental-objective not to flinch or panic out even if the spider starts crawling over me.

You just have to expose yourself to it more and you'll build up some kind of mental immunity to it when you do it constantly.

[Jet Cash]

>..<

I considered giving you a merit,but I just can't do it. Spiders are beneficial for the environment, and I think they should be rescued rather than killed.

[CristianOff]

Buddy I also had arachnophobia. I started by touching dead big spiders which have been killed already, then I proceed with touching small to medium sized spiders and killing them with my bare hands when I caught them. Then when there's a big spider, I try to kill the while having the mental-objective not to flinch or panic out even if the spider starts crawling over me.

You just have to expose yourself to it more and you'll build up some kind of mental immunity to it when you do it constantly.

Oh wow...
While I'm against killing spiders, If I'd have to kill one I wouldn't touch it but use my alternative solution:

[CryptopreneurBrainboss]

I have to start with this statement, spiders have feelings too, they're living creature so if you value nature don't destroy it. Imagine a world without spiders, before you decide to kill one, put yourself in their shoes. Just as @odolvlobo have stated, most times what we think we're afraid of aren't usually the problem so the spider might not be what you're afraid of but nevertheless, you can try the advice below.

Before I give the advice, just want to let you know my brother had similar issue, he was afraid of ants, Funny story, the only reason he kills ant was because when he was a kid an ant beat him and others climb into his ears after sleeping off during an evening church service out on the field.

We convince him into watching documentaries on ants how they lived thier life, reproduce etc, you can try this too, it might help you over come your fear, it did help my brother even resulted to him wanting an ant as a pet the whole plan was to make him see reason to like ant. You can try this to see the outcome, find a way to make yourself love spiders.

[Vod]

I have to start with this statement, spiders have feelings too

I don't think spiders have feelings, desires or intelligence.   They work off instinct.

[Jet Cash]

I don't think spiders have feelings, desires or intelligence. 

I remember reading a research paper by an undergrad. He experimented with 1,000 spiders. His experiment was to dangle a piece of string into their webs, and to check how they coped. The string is particularly annoying for them, as it triggers food arrival alerts. Slightly more than half gave up an abandoned their webs. This represents a substantial loss of investment, as the web requires food and energy to create. Most of the others cut a space around the string, so that it didn't keep jerking the web. One of the spiders carefully rolled upt the string until was clear of the web, and tacked it into place so that it didn't  unravel. She then repaired the damaged web. This bit of maintenance enabled her to continue to benefit from her investment.

I think that this shows that just like humans, most animals have a range of intelligence amongst their populations. Just because an animal is small, it doesn't mean it can'r have intelligence. Spiders invented the first webs to catch their prey, and man adapted this concept to invent the Internet to draw in the unwary.

[CryptopreneurBrainboss]

I have to start with this statement, spiders have feelings too

I don't think spiders have feelings, desires or intelligence.   They work off instinct.

You thought wrong as they do have feelings (will prove that), intelligence (Jet cash already prove that) and desire (not sure about this but I guess they should since they can feel pain). I remember reading an article online about how spiders suffer from emotional life lasting scars and traumatic stress disorder after escaping death from people like OP (will update that article her once I can find it).

Back to the claim of spiders having feelings;

A group of scientists injected spider limbs with various poisons and found that they drop legs in response to multiple types of venoms, including bee and wasp venom. The spiders also jettison the limb when they are injected with components of the venom, including “serotonin, histamine, phospholipase A2, [and] melittin.”

These aren’t necessarily fatal but they are the components of venom known to cause pain to humans. So not only can spiders detach their own legs, they might feel “pain” the same way that we do. Our suffering and a spider’s may be the same.

Source: https://gizmodo.com/heres-how-spiders-react-when-they-get-a-dose-of-venom-1740100838

[CristianOff]

PROGRESS UPDATE

Since then I purchased a nice device which makes sounds humans can't hear. The device doesn't kill spiders, it just
makes the noise to "scare" them away. Now I haven't seen a spider in the past weeks or so as they are hiding else where.
On the bright side I don't have to kill them anymore so, win-win I guess (?) 

[Pmalek]

How did this fear begin? Were you always afraid of spiders or do you remember a time when you weren't and what triggered the fear?
Since you live in the UK, most of the spiders you find in your home pose no threat to you. What do you think will happen if you get in contact with one?

When I was kid I was afraid of the water. Me and my family used to go swimming every weekend so I had to learn how to swim. At the time I was not afraid of the water. We had a teacher and she instructed us to jump in the pool. It was not deep but when I jumped in I got a lot of water in my nose and mouth and I took a deep breath that made things worse, I started to suffocate and the teacher had to pull me out. That is when my fear of water begun. It lasted for months and I couldn't learn how to swim because all I could think about was the day I was pulled out of the pool because I nearly drowned. 

Do you know how I learned how to swim?
My father got sick paying for swimming lessons and me not learning how to swim. One day he took me to the big pool, put me in and swam with me. I was shaking and crying but you know what happened? Nothing! I didn't drown and I learned to swim that day. A few weeks later I was jumping off the 3m diving board!

The point is you have to face you fears or have someone help you or force you to face them. At the time I didn't understand the reaction of my father. But now I am grateful he did what he did. Those little spiders can't do you any harm. They have a thing for the flies and bugs in you home!

Start out by feeding them. Catch a fly put it in their nest and notice how they will wrap it up and save it for later.
After you are comfortable with that put a finger close to a spider and have them run over it. Step by step you can overcome your fear.   

[CristianOff]

How did this fear begin? Were you always afraid of spiders or do you remember a time when you weren't and what triggered the fear?
Since you live in the UK, most of the spiders you find in your home pose no threat to you. What do you think will happen if you get in contact with one?

When I was kid I was afraid of the water. Me and my family used to go swimming every weekend so I had to learn how to swim. At the time I was not afraid of the water. We had a teacher and she instructed us to jump in the pool. It was not deep but when I jumped in I got a lot of water in my nose and mouth and I took a deep breath that made things worse, I started to suffocate and the teacher had to pull me out. That is when my fear of water begun. It lasted for months and I couldn't learn how to swim because all I could think about was the day I was pulled out of the pool because I nearly drowned. 

Do you know how I learned how to swim?
My father got sick paying for swimming lessons and me not learning how to swim. One day he took me to the big pool, put me in and swam with me. I was shaking and crying but you know what happened? Nothing! I didn't drown and I learned to swim that day. A few weeks later I was jumping off the 3m diving board!

The point is you have to face you fears or have someone help you or force you to face them. At the time I didn't understand the reaction of my father. But now I am grateful he did what he did. Those little spiders can't do you any harm. They have a thing for the flies and bugs in you home!

Start out by feeding them. Catch a fly put it in their nest and notice how they will wrap it up and save it for later.
After you are comfortable with that put a finger close to a spider and have them run over it. Step by step you can overcome your fear.   

When I was 6 I used to hold spiders trying to get bitten so I become spider-man. Didn't work out and I think that's where it started. My disappointment with spiders was so huge that it turned out
to be a fear.

Actually I am joking (except for the part holding spiders trying to get bitten to become spider-man). I don't know where or when it started, but will certainly try to make more progress.

[erre]

Buddy I also had arachnophobia. I started by touching dead big spiders which have been killed already, then I proceed with touching small to medium sized spiders and killing them with my bare hands when I caught them. Then when there's a big spider, I try to kill the while having the mental-objective not to flinch or panic out even if the spider starts crawling over me.

You just have to expose yourself to it more and you'll build up some kind of mental immunity to it when you do it constantly.

This is the best possible answer. Desensibilization therapy throught progressively increasing exposition to spiders is the way to go.

If you can't overcome your fear and touch a spider (you don't need to necessarily kill them to expose), you can start with videos or even better virtual reality (there are some papers about VR and desensibilization therapy for phobias).

Oh, and spiders DO NOT have "feelings". The fact that they can detach their legs when poisoned doesn't mean anything, they lack the structures to integrate the stimulus with some kind of "thinking", not to speak about emotions and similar.

[iamsheikhadil]

I can relate to it completely.

I give you a medal of courage that you could at least kill that filthy stuff.

Problem with me is I don't even have the courage to go close to them. I can't even look at their pictures! I don't know why but I don't fear cockroaches or even big lizards. If I see a spider in any place, I abandon that place for at least a month.

A dead spider? Scarier than a normal one lol. Because of their bent legs xD

I know they are innocent creatures but my mind just forgets everything when I see one and I can only consider it as satan even though it is miles away from me

Spiders aren't oxygen that you gotta stop being scared of them by getting therapies because human beings can live without the presence of spider hence I believe I will never go through "exposure therapy" because I don't wanna die of a heart attack during the therapy lol.

[CristianOff]

There was a spider in my kitchen today. That thing was giant according to my terms

I just used some spider and insects sprinkler and all of them are coming out from wherever they are hiding.
I think they are looking for a way to abandon the house. I probably shared my house with this giant for who knows
how many days.

[sweetbet]

I don't know anyone who is not afraid or uncomfortable around spiders, and the bigger and more hairy they are, the more anxious one becomes. I don't mind the occasional small spider sitting in the corner of the ceiling, but I will not tolerate a hand-sized spider in any part of the house.

[SaltySpitoon]

When I was 6 I used to hold spiders trying to get bitten so I become spider-man. Didn't work out and I think that's where it started. My disappointment with spiders was so huge that it turned out
to be a fear.

Actually I am joking (except for the part holding spiders trying to get bitten to become spider-man). I don't know where or when it started, but will certainly try to make more progress.

On that note, if it helps, spiders don't really bite humans very often. A lot of what people call spider bites are welts from other critters or just rashes. Spiders aren't really designed to bite mammals, so in most cases they can't or at least can't easily. Their fangs may be creepy but they aren't really the right shape to bite a human. There are a few exceptions, but I don't need to creep you out if you are blissfully ignorant about the goings on in Australia.

You lived with that giant spider for how long and nothing happened   maybe he even helped take care of some disease spreading bugs or those more prone to bite. That said, I'm not phobic of spiders but that guy would unsettle me a bit.

I'm sure you are probably already aware of that and you aren't actively afraid of spiders biting you, but little things like that to help you rationalize their presence may help. Like I said in my first post, I expected people would recommend exposure therapy. If it works for you great, but thats really not something for someone who isn't a professional to recommend to someone with a phobia. Exposure therapy without proper control can have the opposite results, making things worse.

[carter34]

I don't know anyone who is not afraid or uncomfortable around spiders, and the bigger and more hairy they are, the more anxious one becomes.

No... It will be a fallacy if you say that because people have phobia for different things and that will leave you to imagine how they have that phobia and you don't.

I know other people are afraid of snakes which I am not.

That is now the point. You now see that some people get scared of things you are not scared of. Different phobia my brother.

The fact that you still have the mind to go close and kill the spider should bring you out from your spider phobia because some people can't go near a snake.