Welcome to Spearemint Rhino's sir, would you like to sit at the VIP table?
*walks over to VIP room and sits down*
What would you like to drink today? We have 99% pure battery acid on the rocks, "Like-water" beverage which contains .1% of pure h2o, and our very own Rhino's special cocktail made from pure synthetic waste disposal.
Great choice, our special cocktail has enough chemicals to make sure your organs will be quite stimulated.
*computer monitor opens up in front of me*
(Selection: 21 century lap dance, Girl on robot, Digital lap dance from your favorite celebrity, or Extreme electromagnetic mind fucking.)
*Selects extreme electromagnetic mind fucking*
(Please choose your form of payment: Bitcoins or 1 gallon of Urine)
*Scratches head, thinks about it for a minute, presses Bitcoins*
(Please seat yourself in the Electromagnetic chair and put on the head gear)
*Stripper walks in and seats herself across from me in the other Electromagnetic chair*
Hey sexy, whatever you like, I can do. Missionary, doggy, backdoor; you can even drain my fluids if you tip well.
Alright, seems like you just want to keep it simple, I'll start it off slow and work it up.
*10 minutes of intense brain frying passes leaving me shaking with a wet spot on my pants*
Wow, you really know how to work the angles huh. Tell you what, here is my number in case you ever want to try some hardcore stuff, just remember to tip well.
*Walks over and kisses me on the cheeks and walks out the room*
*Computer opens up*
(Please enter the amount of tip you would like to give.) 10 Bitcoins
(Rate your overall experience.) 7
(Any other comments?) I think I need a doctor, my brain has turned to mush.