Hi everyone
I made a mistake when I mentioned in one of my posts merit points and I admit to this mistake and I am sorry all respected members and I promise I will not repeat this
I will work to improve the quality of my posts and I feel proud that I am present among you. Please excuse you as I am new and I need your useful comments and advice to be better in the future.
You're not alone.
Everyone makes mistakes man. Even Legendary and old timers here are making mistakes too. No one is perfect. It's great that you've decided to post a public apology rather than being silent and keep doing the same thing that made others putting you on the ignore list or marking you as a spammer, low quality poster, merit beggar and so on.
I've been there before. Posted my public apology, then I made another terrible mistake days after, then I'm gone for almost a month questioning myself if I still deserve a chance to be here in this forum or regaining the trust from others.
I even try commit silent suicide that time because I can't forgive myself mistake after mistake, and my career was at the
"worse than rock bottom" level after enjoying my ride for the past couple of years with rewards coming from airdrops, bounty programs, being part of the development team, traveling worldwide, etc.
You know what I did? I took a long break for almost a month, doing travel and leisure in some famous local attractions, playing my favorite hardcore video games, trying other sources of income, etc. And one day, I told myself that I want to came back to Bitcointalk as the real guy. At first, I was afraid. But as the old man says,
we can't move forward if we just kept being afraid for the rest of our lives.
And I did. I threw all of my fears, doubts, worries and uncertainties, and I came back as a renewed person. I expanded my skills and talent to contribute even more in some projects. Trying something different in the crypto and blockchain space that would made me more valuable. The long break gave me an opportunity to reflect, realizing my past wrongdoings, the adjustments I should be doing, etc.
I may never change the past, but I can change the future. I didn't allow my past to define who I am today. I moved on slowly but surely, and I'm finally focused on the right direction. I even started reporting 3S's (scammers, spammers, shillers) and account sellers here in the forum.
I'm not after the merits too (that's just bonus points for me). What matters to me is that I want to get back being a respected and helpful member again. Because of that, I got unexpected blessings from some sources and it helped me all the way since the pandemic began until now.
Just take it one day at a time man. You'll get better, just like what I'm doing now. Hope my story inspires you to become a better community member of Bitcointalk. 
