Let's talk severe depression

[KonstantinosM]

Before we get in to this I feel it's important that everyone understands the subject a little bit.

I'll find a case that will make it clear for everyone what living with depression is like, especially as compared to not having to live with it.

Ok. I remember watching a documentary that had the perfect case. But I can't find it.
My recollection of it follows. (I watched it 8+ years ago)
We see twin girls, one started showing signs of depression at a young age. While the other twin lead a normal happy existence the other couldn't even get out of bed.

Depression is not simply being sad for a while, not even being sad for a long after someone dies. Depression can steal away years of productivity and growth. It can lead to suicidal thoughts thousands of times a day for months on end. I'm not an expert medical professional so I can't define it much more concisely than that.

I trust that many of us on this forum have struggled with depression at one time or another. Some chronically. It also doesn't seem like there is an easy fix for it.

I've heard it called the black dog. I'm really fond of that expression. Right now, looks like I'm getting another extended visit from him.

The biggest problem I face is that I let things pile on. Everything. I'll let the dishes pile on. My room will just become dirtier and dirtier. Car maintenance to the absolute minimum. I'll even leave some funds on exchanges. So even if I can snap out of it for a little bit it's not easy for me to be happy because I can't put things to normal in that short time.

Sometimes I hope a natural disaster will come and wipe the slate clean, so that when I'm ready to be happy again, I won't have to deal with the mess I've made in my life.

Edit:

One thing I keep up is work. I will use a lot of energy to work hard and keep at it. I give it my all. Being depressed makes social situations more difficult. I can't find the words or keep up a conversation or connect to people while in this state. Not easily.

[1715113950]

1715113950

[1715113950]

1715113950

[1715113950]

1715113950

[Jet Cash]

I can empathise with you to a certain extent. I've got a mass of historic problems to sort out. You just need to do something every day, and you will find that you will gradually get on top of things. If you are felling particularly low, then just do a couple of easy jobs. You need to keep your environment clean, and don't let the dishes mount up. Instead of getting a clean plate for your next meal, wash up the one from the last meal and use that. This mrans you will never have a mountain of dirty dishes to face.

The money left on exchanges is a bit more interesting, and it is something I have done in the past. I worked out that I was doing it as a form of security, as I felt that the money was always there if I needed it. Bitcoin has helped me with that. Now, I collect the money, and I buy some Bitcoin to save as my security. If you do this regularly, you can cheer yourself up by checking your wallet balance.

The covid lock downs are causing problems with depression as well. If you need some social interaction, you can always start or enter into some social discussion on the off-topic board here. A few of them can be quite interesting. Another thing to do is to start a new project, and this is why I hosted the domain Rag St, and I hope to develop that into a sellers introduction site.

[Twinkledoe]

I know it's hard to overcome such feeling of being depressed. I agree that at one point, most of us experienced that feeling, whatever the reason is. But one thing I learn is, take one day at a time. Look for reason/s to live. Gather yourself. Think positively even if you feel hopeless. Do one thing at a time, if you will think of things that you need to do, I know you will feel overwhelmed. Slowly accomplish things that you need to do. No one is pushing you to complete those tasks at once. Appreciate small things that you have.

[franky1]

there are mutliple types of depression. there is however 2 main umbrella categories.
biological depression, situational depression

thnigs like PTSD is situational. where your depression is triggered by experiences and memories.
biological depression is where your body malfunctions to cause the mood change.

i know some people say 'just distract yourself' or 'just do something' 'try exercising' but this is not good broad advice
if you can figure out the cause of it and work on recognising the triggers and then work on affecting the triggers to no longer overwhelm you. you can then start to lead a better life which then cycles around to improve things

take for instance the inability to maintain your house.
in some cases it might be a mobility issue that stops you leaving your house, stops you cleaning the house and getting into this rutt then triggers the situational depression
it may be having to get the energy to clean the house to improve the situation. help might be to get some disability support of a cleaner popping around to help you. that improves the situation

other things like having memory/concentration span issues where one minute your planning on cleaning. then you forget/get distracted and hours later you realise that you didnt do what you planned. which then affects how you feel and makes your situation worse
other things like hormonal issues affect your mood by making you not care about things around you. which then cycles around

so getting advice to 'just get on with it' aint good. instead on your clear days try to work out the cause-effect and get to the root of the problem. then try to get a plan of how to handle certain situations.
sometimes it can be as simple as a calender reminder on your computer to prompt you to do something. sometimes it can be making chores into games. like if you do some housework then you can reward yourself with a treat. or to get someone in to help you.
as for the biological malfunction. maybe its worth asking the doctor about your specific issues and then say the words 'dont give me the first medication your thinking of. can you find something more specific'
some hormonal disorders are where your body is not making the 'happy hormones' and some meds are not the happy hormones themselves but other ingredients that would trigger the happy hormone. which in some cases just wont work or require high dosages of it to trigger the natural hormone release.
so try to find the right type of meds and not the generic stuff
EG normal peoples seratonin is triggered by chocolate, turkey, salmon. but they dont have seratonin in them they have tryptophen which your body if working right converts to seratonin
so if chocolate/turkey doesnt give you that relaxed 'food coma' state where you go for a nap and feel good. then its a sign your body is not converting things into hormones.

if your already on meds and your not feeling the benefits. then updosing may not help either. ask for a different med to try.
if your issue is your depression is making you forget/not care to take the meds. then you need to find that routine whether it be reminders or a person prompting you. just to stop you from cycling into worse state

but the secret to everything is to try working out the cause-effect at the root of it

[fourpiece]

Depression may lead to suicide, most of young people are the victims,  like those who are bullied in school, or a person who cant give the expectation of thier parents.

[Natsuu]

I can vouch to this subject for depression. As an Engineering Student, I've encountered great amount of hardships with my subjects. The stress, and the financial amount needed for my projects is really tough to acquire. There are few times in this hardships that I myself wanted to give in my inner self telling me to die in different ways but my mind wanted to do it with no pain.

Aside from these times in my college life, all the years from when I was in JHS up to SHS, I've been struggling in different stress. (1) my mother was diagnosed with brain tumor. (2) My father tried to move away, and step away from any financial duties. (3) I've been ressetled to my grandmother where my uncle was pissed cause "We take advantage from them". and lastly, (4) I've been bullied for having a broken tooth in the incisors. These struggles in my life where; I want to get away but I can't, I want to live on my own but I can't, I want to play but I can't. are part of me now.

And actually, I'm not sad or depressed anymore about this happenings because I know in myself that I've been through all of that, and now I now for sure that I can face difficulties in my life.

My secret for this is that I've read many motivational speech in spotify, and youtube, and I really set myself straight by thinking of the benefits about this. I changed my POV, and focus in the future where I envisioned myself to be a successful engineer, and a businessman.

I know that this is very hard, and I am not saying that my way can be applied to every person who are experiencing depression, but I can tell you that this depression in your life, as soon as you pass this, I'm certain that you'll become a different strong person with a very bright future.

[CryptocurencyKing]

I wish a different term could be used to describe that word and make it more decorative but less attractive or so I thought. I believe I did or so did my friends say, that I was no longer depressed! I was astonished to hear them say that to me. They said, they've always wondered what was wrong and who would rescue me! Severally, they found me by myself, withdrawn from social life as though I wasn't within their age grade and as such, saw what ever fun thing being done as child's play.
I can go on and on but, to keep it short, they said I was depressed and I really hate to think of it that way. As I strongly believe it was me being me, just liking my quite and on my own times and the rest of the world never accepted me that way. My spice was needed and I wasn't giving it. So sad.

A depressed mind will not know until your been told. When ever you find yourself withdrawn from the society and often sad, for no just course, just know that your depressed or on your way to being depressed. Seek therapy.

[Cratoon]

I've read a lot on that topic and I believe that regular exercise, sleep schedule, some hobbies activities (if possible) are far better cure than taking some pills that numb your consciousness and lead to more problems later on.

[KonstantinosM]

I've read a lot on that topic and I believe that regular exercise, sleep schedule, some hobbies activities (if possible) are far better cure than taking some pills that numb your consciousness and lead to more problems later on.

You can try all of those and depression will still persist.
In some cases medication is practically required, unless you count success as having decent quality of life like 2/10 days on average for years on end.


I still haven't found that study that I want to post on this thread but it's always in the back of my mind.

[_Miracle]

KonstantinosM,

I'm responding as someone who has experienced depression and because you used the word serious depression.

I like that Franky1 pointed out "biological" and "situational".

I have not had the experience of depression coming out of nowhere to interrupt my perfectly happy life: Biological
Mine have been situational and typically a cluster of undeniably depressing things happening at once (3x in my lifetime)
Many people who are depressed or even suicidal may seem happy in public, while putting in the effort for that "show" can take a separate mental and physical toll.

You should know that being depressed doesn't always come with suicidal thoughts but that it can really effect your thought processes and create
continuous negative outcomes...perpetuating itself. The chemistry in your brain is different and that can be as powerful as any mind altering drug.

While self help books and positive thinking can be useful...the idea that you should be positive or happy can also be destructive.

Sometimes you need help and in hindsight I once suffered several years too long before getting it *lesson learned but it's time I can't get back.

My recommendation for anyone experiencing depression is to get help early; first a counselor and then maybe on to whatever drugs may be prescribed.
I say counselor first because many of the drugs prescribed for depression have suicide as a side effect, so having people who are keeping track of how you are reacting will be helpful if changes are necessary.

If you have people close to you maybe try to confide in one of them ------but don't be surprised when their first reaction is to try to cheer you up  .

[pecson134]

Depression is really a very broad word. It is not limited to someone's grief when someone died or dying but it can be associated to failures, bullying, feeling of emptiness or the likes, and love break ups. The severity of depression varies from person to person on how they were dealing with the current cause of depression. Depression was very hard to determine on a certain person even if you know them for a long time. Their behavioral pattern might be a cue point but that is not always the case.

[KonstantinosM]

Snip

It's a very complicated subject.

Your advice is practically the best advice, however I have a big caveat to offer.

Depending on where you live, a counselor/psychiatrist can be more destructive then the disease in itself.

I understand this is a very controversial opinion. I do not take this lightly. I know I'll lose a lot of credibility just posting this. I have known a lot of people with mental illness, and if you read my previous post on this topic, I do believe that medication in many cases is required.

However, if you live in the United States, there are a lot of psychiatrists who just see you as another source of revenue. I have seen cases where people were put in mediocre clinics and insurance was paying out big time. Doctors that threatened patients with their freedom. Patients who tried to commit suicide because of what their doctors did. Patients being locked up because of family wanting them locked up so they could scoop up their money. Medications not prescribed but forced on patients.

If you live in the US, you have to really know a good doctor because they will try to coerce you and deprive you of your rights. For anyone that suffers that fate, on top of mental illness, losing health coverage when possible will get rid of these leeches.

Also once you out yourself as having these problems, you're giving up a lot of rights because of the stigma associated with it.



Also as with any mental illness each individuals experience may vary. I assume even people who aren't depressed contemplate suicide sometimes. While some people with depression have that though repeat in their head thousands of times a day, for months on end. They make plans and get careless with their life, because in their head it's over.

When opening this topic up, I was certain I'd find the study I was looking for. Unfortunately, I can't. Perhaps nobody posted it on YouTube or I need to know the exact name. I remember the professor who showed me this, but it's been many years, and I don't have any sort of relationship with him, and he probably wouldn't even remember it.

But it's such a powerful thing to witness, the power of depression. How two identical twins are changed so much. So many important aspects of it illuminated clearly enough for anyone to grasp them. Even without personal experience.

Failing to demonstrate what depression really is. I don't really want to go past it. I wouldn't have even opened this topic had I realized I could not find the clips from that study.

I'll leave this post with someone talking about their depression in a funny an entertaining but also illuminating way.

Video Title: I want(ed) to die
Source: Jreg (YouTube Channel)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7v7HvNjm5E

Even at the start he talks about this video potentially harming his job prospects in the future. Also he's a perfect example of people who may appear happy on the outside.

[_Miracle]

Snip

It's a very complicated subject.

Absolutely.

Here's a few things:
Yes there can be stigmas attached but what about living with the weight and often dull darkness of depression?
And yes, the state of mental health in our country is in shambles, just look around on the streets and in the news.

 
thinking of suicide over and over is suicidal ideation and while is may not always lead to suicide as a result, the thought pattern isn't healthy.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Hours: Available 24 hours
800-273-8255

My mother was diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic, she was committed 2x and forced onto medications. Her perspective of being medicated was that of being poisoned and having her thoughts controlled--who could argue with that, there's some truth in it. I was in foster care by age 13 with my little brother. It has been about 5 years since last speaking to her, she has continued to lose much and suffer greatly by her own mind.

Getting a good counselor could be a challenge and yes that is their profession and way to make a living so be conscious of that not deterred from getting help.

Sounds like an interesting documentary (I'm a bit of a Doc junkie :-))

[_Miracle]

Is it this one...

Trapped By My Twin (Mental Health Documentary) | Real Stories

https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=Q21AljzHpcY&ab_channel=RealStories

P.S. watched your link
It's slightly manic for my taste but I'm old so things are better slow for me.
:-)
he makes a good point at around 11mins "don't fall in love with your depression"

[KonstantinosM]

Is it this one...

Trapped By My Twin (Mental Health Documentary) | Real Stories

https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=Q21AljzHpcY&ab_channel=RealStories

P.S. watched your link
It's slightly manic for my taste but I'm old so things are better slow for me.
:-)
he makes a good point at around 11mins "don't fall in love with your depression"

No, it's not that one. I've probably described it a few times already. The subjects are two girls, twins. White and blonde, probably aged around 12-14. One got depressed and the other didn't. Their lives diverged so much.

The depressed one was practically bedridden with no energy to do anything. While the other thrived and lived a normal life. It's a stark comparison when you see it in children. One having a normal happy childhood while the other suffers. In the very same home even with mostly the same body and starting from the same point.

You could also clearly tell that the healthy one really loved the depressed one but there was nothing she could do for her sister.

I saw it in a Psych 101 class. I think it's just not available online. Probably never got published like that.

 
I'm also a huge doc junkie. but I don't think I'll ever find it again. I guess to find it you'd have to look through every study that is done on the genetics of mental illness conducted on twins. It's doable, but not easily.

Maybe it only ever got distributed on DVD, maybe it's behind a paywall or on a streaming site.

[franky1]

from what you have said. the teens in your scenario seem to differ due to a situational depression in one
although living together. one girl may have had a bad experience and she is not communicating/dealing with it. so bottling it up in secret which is causing the experience trauma to cycle around and worsen

the question of medication is more about the type of medication as i discussed before.
some medications are not the happy chemicals. but other chemicals that trigger the bodies happy glands.
these dont always work with people that have that gland malfunction.
these dont always work if person are too depressed to remember to take them
these might cause the happiness but dont remove the negative experience thoughts/memories
in some cases these can if already contemplating suicide make you "happy" to commit to suicide
happy pills wont remove situational memories, they can make you happier to care less about situation memories

trying to find the root cause is so much better than trying to mask the effects, because as explained those masks are not always effective. especially if using the wrong mask for the occassion

.. as for your own descriptions where it appears you do not value psychiatry and finding plausible excuses in the training/capitalist nature of US healthcare to avoid seeking support.

try not to find excuses to avoid support. i dont mean just in healthcare. but in things like just googling things.
even at home you can try to remember the last time you felt depression free. and work out if there was a physical accident involving an injury or was there a situation.
look at what triggers you. is it hearing a particular sound or smell or being in a particular place. is it certain people. is it just reaccuring memories, is it non specific just unpredictable bad and goodish days
write down your triggers.
if its like a paranoia/anxiety of people. psychiatrists will(if trained well) teach you techniques to not let your paranoia of a 2 minute social activity spiral into hours of mentally thinking about it.

like being on a public bus. if you think someone is looking at you. if that usually makes you wonder about their thoughts about you for the rest of your day. learn techniques like. when people get off the bus everyones thoughts are about what they will do in a store/work. they forgot about who was on the bus with them. then you should think about what you want to do when you get of the bus. forgetting about who was on the bus
its not easy to remind yourself of this on the bus situations. but practice makes perfect

if you can work out your triggers you can work out techniques to cut those triggers short.

[philipma1957]

Interesting subject.

First off USA medicine is very profit oriented. So if you live in the USA 🇺🇸 and you have real true mental illness like depression it will be hard to help yourself.

Just answer this question did you ever want to hurt yourself? Yes To any USA based doctor and you could

have a lot of ‘treatment’ forced upon you in the name of helping you.

But it you are really depressed you most likely need medical help.

The nicest dog I have ever know was a black dog.

The second best dog I have ever know was a black dog.

To think that depression is the black dog very likely  means you are suffering big time.

I don’t know where you live but find some online talk site designed for depressed people.

Good luck.

[hornetsnest]

The cure for depression is hope.Without hope there is despair but false hope crushes the spirit as false hope is but a lie.To understand that to have ones physical health,no torment from grief through loss of a loved one,loss of ones dignity,loss of ones earnings,poverty,spouse through infidelity (transgressors of the law cause misery to many and by their actions such depression on their victims/example theft of ones property can lead to depression for the victim while a person living an ungodly life can become a victim themselves of folly and destructive behavior that leads to addiction and despair)..makes you luckier than most would give oneself a better perspective of where they are at but depression can be caused through a whole range of other complex issues too but at the end of the day it is hope that brings solace and the less complex you make life the easier it is to find hope.

If one can find happiness in the simplicity of life and understand that a human's life on this earth is lived in the literal blink of an eye then they may be able to find that hope in knowing that ALL suffering ends at the end of their short life for them but taking one's life as a solution to escape depression is a false dichotomy.

Although I am among scoffers and unbelievers and I am no monk,priest,prophet,angel or expert on such matters I would advise anyone who has lost all hope to find it renewed in the gospel and have their dignity and sense of worth as a human being restored.Your human life is very short in this world and becoming selfless and carefree as to the opinions of your societal peers in achieiving true wisdom through such selflessness will bring untold satisfaction as every tool nescessary will be at your disposal if you have the courage to pursue this path.....It could be FAR worse.One could have to endure endless days in this God forsaken world without any hope of rest knowing FAR worse awaits

[_Miracle]

Philipma1957,
Someone dear to me used that phrase for years (they were depressed).

To leave technical terms out: it just flat out f'n sucks that many people suffer in silence and that the topic of depression alone can make people squirmy.

Many people are uncomfortable even feeling sad while suffering a loss and for sure expressing it to another human can be risky just on the basis of not knowing their capacity to simply allow you to be sad, so if we are not good with the things most of us will experience in a lifetime (like the loss of the loved one) it follows that generally people may not be comfortable or skilled enough to deal with the gravity (weighty thing) of depression.
Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain seemed like people who had everything to live for.


hornetsnest,
yes, people can find comfort in religion: a love for Jesus got me through many dark days (especially when I was pissed off at God decades ago).
It felt like gravity, no joy, for sure hope was a hopeless prospect and at the time: so much guilt for the ingratitude I felt towards being alive.

Deep depression can be like a black hole, devouring the light of your soul and everything around it into it...




Talking about it brings it out of darkness.

"Someday you will see the light at the end of the tunnel and it won't be a train" ;-)

[_Miracle]

https://youtu.be/ixqVlWrHmyw



It’s called “if my brain had morning meetings” this is part 3 really funny and priceless when she calls it a “symphony of destruction”....don’t miss the end “murder hornets” ect