What's the stupidest excuse you heard that turned out to be true?

[AAPPKK]

In high school my senior English class had a big essay due at the end of the year. Our teacher was very stern about the fact that no excuses would be accepted for it being late. She told us that she had only ever given one extension to a student. Of course we had to ask why. She said a student had come to class on the due date and said she couldn't turn in the paper because the FBI had confiscated the family computer her paper was saved on the night before. The teacher didn't believe it because, come on. The FBI? Turns out the girl had a copy of the police report stating the computer was confiscated as evidence because her dad had downloaded child pornography on it.

[playyamy]

"I was running from the police". Mind you, this wouldn't be a surprising reason to be absent, they were just late.... the police showed up 20 minutes later quite surprised that their suspect was actually at school.

[KARSASA]

I used to work for a huge technology and engineering firm that was installing security systems for a new stadium. The deadlines for everything were written into the contract such that there were considerable penalties for not delivering portions of the scope on time. We were notified that we were in default of the contract for not installing the parapet cameras on the high perimeter of the stadium.

Our excuse was pretty solid: They had not finished building the stadium. There was no "top" of the stadium yet to mount anything on. It was fucking air.

We had to defend that for a few weeks before they backed off.

[PEANUTUT]

I used to work for a huge technology and engineering firm that was installing security systems for a new stadium. The deadlines for everything were written into the contract such that there were considerable penalties for not delivering portions of the scope on time. We were notified that we were in default of the contract for not installing the parapet cameras on the high perimeter of the stadium.

Our excuse was pretty solid: They had not finished building the stadium. There was no "top" of the stadium yet to mount anything on. It was fucking air.

We had to defend that for a few weeks before they backed off.

I am picturing your cameras on top of a long, thin electrical conduit, and everybody else must gingerly build the rest of stadium around it so as not to disrupt your contract.

[viperor]

I am picturing your cameras on top of a long, thin electrical conduit, and everybody else must gingerly build the rest of stadium around it so as not to disrupt your contract.

[BAOLann]

I am picturing your cameras on top of a long, thin electrical conduit, and everybody else must gingerly build the rest of stadium around it so as not to disrupt your contract.

Once at my bus stop in middle school, the bus #47 (not our bus) rolled up and slowed down, the driver opened the door without stopping, and said “I’ll be back!” The bus was completely full and she could not fit us. That was at 7:20. The 10 or so kids waited until 9:00 and no bus ever came. We all went home to try to and find rides to school. I finally got to school at 10:30.

Apparently I was the only one who showed up. The office lady did not believe my story and I was marked late.

[Photony]

A kid told the teacher that he fell asleep because he was at a bar all night.

Kid ended up getting removed from his parents. His dad was a chronic gambler and would take his son to bars and set him up with a Pepsi and a few quarters to play video games while he played pool and darts.

[KBIGHTTT]

We had a kid in our class who was pure chaos. Came late all the time, forgot stuff, didn't do his homework, disruptive in class... you get the picture. One day he came to school over two hours late and said the bus he was on fell into a sinkhole. Everybody was like "yeah, right", until the news came in that there had indeed been a sinkhole from a tunnel construction and that indeed a bus had slipped into it. We never found out whether our classmate had actually been in it, but he swore he was.

[GALALAGA]

We had a kid in our class who was pure chaos. Came late all the time, forgot stuff, didn't do his homework, disruptive in class... you get the picture. One day he came to school over two hours late and said the bus he was on fell into a sinkhole. Everybody was like "yeah, right", until the news came in that there had indeed been a sinkhole from a tunnel construction and that indeed a bus had slipped into it. We never found out whether our classmate had actually been in it, but he swore he was.

This reminds me - I have a friend with cerebral palsy that missed the bus one day and decided to walk to school alone rather than getting a ride from someone else. Since our small town doesn't have a secondary school, we were bussed over to a neighboring town, so the school is about 14 km away. It took him over four hours to get there, and apparently no one ever stopped to help him. If memory serves, he missed his first five classes and arrived just in time for lunch.

Despite everyone's reaction to his decision, he attempted to walk alone again multiple times, including once in around 10 cm of snow. Luckily, my mom started driving me to school later after the first incident, so when he did try again, we'd see and convince him to ride with us.

[RainbowcityDAO]

We were hosting a small party/play date/happy hour kind of thing with other parents of young children in our city neighborhood (think row homes), when our neighbor called all upset. She and her boyfriend were both away - in different places - for the weekend. They had a friend taking care of their cat, and the cat had died. She wanted us to go next door and wrap up the dead cat and put it in the freezer so she could have a necropsy done to find out why it died. My husband went over but their freezer was full, so he called me over to help. Our tiny freezer was also full (and I drew the line at putting the cat in our freezer), so we threw a few things out to make room and texted to let her know. Fifteen minutes later the boyfriend calls all frantic because he had stashed a bunch of hash in one of the boxes my husband threw out and he wanted us to pick it out of the trash a return it to the freezer with the dead cat.

All the while all of this is happening, we have to keep apologizing to our guests for having to keep excusing ourselves to run next door and eventually shared the whole saga as it was unfolding, much to their bemusement. What I didn’t realize is that one of the kids was old enough to understand what was going on and the mom was getting madder and madder that we kept talking about it in front of her kid. I always wanted to be a fly on the wall when that kid returned to daycare that Monday and what she said about her weekend.

[FAKerOR]

My dog once literally ate my homework. More accurately, I was eating some goldfish as I worked on a math worksheet which ended up being covered in crumbs. Got up to put the bowl of goldfish away and my big old dumb dog Fred (basset hound) went up and licked the crumbs right after he had a drink of water ruining a big chunk of the work sheet in middle. My teacher sorta believed me when I produced the ruin sheet, but I suspect she suspected I spilled something on it, possibly on purpose. I was very bad at math.

[XIYEXIYE]

I was a student. It was the first day of school. There were six of us who were late. The reason: the school bus stop was moved to a new location. We all piled into my mother's car. We went to the principal's office. The office manager said notice letters were sent to us, so she checked her log. The notices were never sent out.

[xiaohuhu]

I was a student. It was the first day of school. There were six of us who were late. The reason: the school bus stop was moved to a new location. We all piled into my mother's car. We went to the principal's office. The office manager said notice letters were sent to us, so she checked her log. The notices were never sent out.

Once at my bus stop in middle school, the bus #47 (not our bus) rolled up and slowed down, the driver opened the door without stopping, and said “I’ll be back!” The bus was completely full and she could not fit us. That was at 7:20. The 10 or so kids waited until 9:00 and no bus ever came. We all went home to try to and find rides to school. I finally got to school at 10:30.

Apparently I was the only one who showed up. The office lady did not believe my story and I was marked late.

[Pavel leslie]

We had a kid in our class who was pure chaos. Came late all the time, forgot stuff, didn't do his homework, disruptive in class... you get the picture. One day he came to school over two hours late and said the bus he was on fell into a sinkhole. Everybody was like "yeah, right", until the news came in that there had indeed been a sinkhole from a tunnel construction and that indeed a bus had slipped into it. We never found out whether our classmate had actually been in it, but he swore he was.

[canyouer]

We had a kid in our class who was pure chaos. Came late all the time, forgot stuff, didn't do his homework, disruptive in class... you get the picture. One day he came to school over two hours late and said the bus he was on fell into a sinkhole. Everybody was like "yeah, right", until the news came in that there had indeed been a sinkhole from a tunnel construction and that indeed a bus had slipped into it. We never found out whether our classmate had actually been in it, but he swore he was.

This reminds me - I have a friend with cerebral palsy that missed the bus one day and decided to walk to school alone rather than getting a ride from someone else. Since our small town doesn't have a secondary school, we were bussed over to a neighboring town, so the school is about 14 km away. It took him over four hours to get there, and apparently no one ever stopped to help him. If memory serves, he missed his first five classes and arrived just in time for lunch.

Despite everyone's reaction to his decision, he attempted to walk alone again multiple times, including once in around 10 cm of snow. Luckily, my mom started driving me to school later after the first incident, so when he did try again, we'd see and convince him to ride with us.

[BlackPinker]

Not a teacher but I’m from a small town and one day like half of my high school was late because a senior decided on his last day he was going to ride his ride on lawn mower to school (in cut off daisy dukes and a cowboy hat). There’s one main access road to the school... he backed shit up for like half an hour between busses and cars.

You won’t be surprised to know that he goes by the nickname bubba.

[Cullly]

Not a teacher but I’m from a small town and one day like half of my high school was late because a senior decided on his last day he was going to ride his ride on lawn mower to school (in cut off daisy dukes and a cowboy hat). There’s one main access road to the school... he backed shit up for like half an hour between busses and cars.

You won’t be surprised to know that he goes by the nickname bubba.

My school bus was late one day because a flock of peacocks wouldn't move out of the way.

They used to live on a farm, but the people moved away and left their peacocks behind. They became feral peacocks, and sometimes they'd just parade around in the street like assholes. You cannot effectively shoo away a flock of peacocks. I'm not sure if they're still there, but every time I visit my folks, I slow down around that curve in case there's a flock of peacocks in the road.

[XUNing]

Not a teacher but I’m from a small town and one day like half of my high school was late because a senior decided on his last day he was going to ride his ride on lawn mower to school (in cut off daisy dukes and a cowboy hat). There’s one main access road to the school... he backed shit up for like half an hour between busses and cars.

You won’t be surprised to know that he goes by the nickname bubba.

My school bus was late one day because a flock of peacocks wouldn't move out of the way.

They used to live on a farm, but the people moved away and left their peacocks behind. They became feral peacocks, and sometimes they'd just parade around in the street like assholes. You cannot effectively shoo away a flock of peacocks. I'm not sure if they're still there, but every time I visit my folks, I slow down around that curve in case there's a flock of peacocks in the road.

All peacocks are assholes. Dumb as bricks and stare at themselves in any reflective surface. I've actually been late to work because they won't move off the drive. Never ever feed them or they will never go home. I'm pretty sure humans taking care of them is the only reason they haven't died out yet.