Is it weird to wake up 2 hours before anybody else to have time alone?

[KARSASA]

I've been married for 14 years... My wife thinks I'm weird cuz I always get up at 5h00 to read for two hours before the day starts... Actually I don't always read.. I just enjoy these two hours alone before she and the kids wake up.. that's the only time alone I can get in my day... And I really like it.. But I'm starting to think it might be weird or a bad sign... Like usually people love to spend time with their families.. Any married people out there with thoughts on this..?

Edit: THANK you for all the awards I really appreciate your feedback and support too !

[AAPPKK]

I wouldn't say there is anything wrong with it at all. Everyone needs time to themselves, just because you have a family doesn't change that. I finish work around midnight and I enjoy being able to come home and do my own thing for a couple of hours before going to sleep.

[PEANUTUT]

I wouldn't say there is anything wrong with it at all. Everyone needs time to themselves, just because you have a family doesn't change that. I finish work around midnight and I enjoy being able to come home and do my own thing for a couple of hours before going to sleep.

It's essential to have 'me time' in a relationship, not having so risks co-dependency (or symptoms thereof). What OP is describing seems very healthy to me, as does your comment (:

[ZOOOOM]

I wouldn't say there is anything wrong with it at all. Everyone needs time to themselves, just because you have a family doesn't change that. I finish work around midnight and I enjoy being able to come home and do my own thing for a couple of hours before going to sleep.

It's essential to have 'me time' in a relationship, not having so risks co-dependency (or symptoms thereof). What OP is describing seems very healthy to me, as does your comment (:

Unfortunately, even if both in the relationship have “me” time, codependency can still be a likely possibility.

I think to avoid codependency one must truly be able to enjoy one’s own company no matter the circumstances, or have a very active and fulfilling social life outside of the relationship.

[playyamy]

I wouldn't say there is anything wrong with it at all. Everyone needs time to themselves, just because you have a family doesn't change that. I finish work around midnight and I enjoy being able to come home and do my own thing for a couple of hours before going to sleep.

It's essential to have 'me time' in a relationship, not having so risks co-dependency (or symptoms thereof). What OP is describing seems very healthy to me, as does your comment (:

Unfortunately, even if both in the relationship have “me” time, codependency can still be a likely possibility.

I think to avoid codependency one must truly be able to enjoy one’s own company no matter the circumstances, or have a very active and fulfilling social life outside of the relationship.

Codependency is not a real thing. The whole idea pathologizes a normal human tendency, which is to want to be close to people we love or care about. There are different styles of attachment-- some healthier than others-- but humans will always need other humans, and there's nothing wrong with that.

Normally I wouldn't say anything about it but the concept of codependency really only serves to make people feel ashamed or guilty that they "need" someone else other than themselves. Of course they need other people. That's how people survive.

[BAOLann]

I wouldn't say there is anything wrong with it at all. Everyone needs time to themselves, just because you have a family doesn't change that. I finish work around midnight and I enjoy being able to come home and do my own thing for a couple of hours before going to sleep.

Ha, I even have my own room in the attic with my stuff. A men cave, but I'm the wife and my husband controls the living room. It was a demand for a new home from both of us: I need my own room.

That is really not a normal thing in the Netherlands where homes are small. I do my crafts and such in it, I do have a painting set up for the kids, but they visit in my room and have to ask.

It's wonderful!!

I also work to midnight and enjoy an hour alone in my own room at the end of it. And a few hours in weekends.

Today we are married nine years. Putting up your own boundaries to stay sane is very good marriage etiquette.

[viperor]

I get up at 5am too. And it's also so I have time alone before anyone else gets up. The main reason is that I've set aside that time to game because if I game in the evening chances are I'll get interrupted by a family pet needing to go out, a child needing something, a phone call, my wife needing something etc. Being "on call" all the time doesn't give me time to really relax and get into anything because I'm constantly listening out for issues. At 5am to 7am it's quiet, no one is up, no one needs anything and I get that time to myself uninterrupted (most of the time). I'm not slightly on edge waiting for the next call of "Daaaaaaad?" or the sound of a dog scratching the door etc.

I'm a much happier person because of this, it doesn't hurt anyone so it's win, win for everyone. Everyone needs down time. Don't worry about it.

[Photony]

I get up at 5am too. And it's also so I have time alone before anyone else gets up. The main reason is that I've set aside that time to game because if I game in the evening chances are I'll get interrupted by a family pet needing to go out, a child needing something, a phone call, my wife needing something etc. Being "on call" all the time doesn't give me time to really relax and get into anything because I'm constantly listening out for issues. At 5am to 7am it's quiet, no one is up, no one needs anything and I get that time to myself uninterrupted (most of the time). I'm not slightly on edge waiting for the next call of "Daaaaaaad?" or the sound of a dog scratching the door etc.

I'm a much happier person because of this, it doesn't hurt anyone so it's win, win for everyone. Everyone needs down time. Don't worry about it.

A question, at what hours do you go to bed to get up at 5 am? With my current schedule it is anywhere between 3-7 hours of sleep if I woke up at 5 am every day. I assume you go to sleep around 10-11 pm then?

[KBIGHTTT]

Here is the thing. Even when you love someone dearly, you need time away from them.

My father went from a 5 day workweek to a 4 day, with the free day being on a day my mother works. She was annoyed at it first, because " Don't you love me and want to spend time with me." After thinking about it she understands. She likes having time just to herself as well.

They love each other dearly, go on walks at the end of each workday, having weekends away with just to two of them.

Just having some time to charge up and not having to deal with anybodies shit.

[rodskee]

I've been married for 14 years... My wife thinks I'm weird cuz I always get up at 5h00 to read for two hours before the day starts... Actually I don't always read.. I just enjoy these two hours alone before she and the kids wake up.. that's the only time alone I can get in my day... And I really like it.. But I'm starting to think it might be weird or a bad sign... Like usually people love to spend time with their families.. Any married people out there with thoughts on this..?

Edit: THANK you for all the awards I really appreciate your feedback and support too !

You have no social Life mate ? i mean you are a type of person that Work and Family is the circle of your life ?

from Office then direct to Home and enjoy their company ?

Because that is the only thing i believe why you are looking for your own time in the morning , because like me that has social activities with friends or with our neighbors , sometimes going fishing and some social life , so i need no time for myself in that sense .

[GALALAGA]

Here is the thing. Even when you love someone dearly, you need time away from them.

My father went from a 5 day workweek to a 4 day, with the free day being on a day my mother works. She was annoyed at it first, because " Don't you love me and want to spend time with me." After thinking about it she understands. She likes having time just to herself as well.

They love each other dearly, go on walks at the end of each workday, having weekends away with just to two of them.

Just having some time to charge up and not having to deal with anybodies shit.

My husband and I try to give each other "a day off" from each other every once in a while. We usually plan outings with friends or family while the other stays home. It's a win-win for us because we can still strengthen our other relationships while giving our partner space. My husband and I love each other dearly. He really is my best friend, but sometimes it's nice just having the house to myself and I know he feels the same.

[FAKerOR]

me and my dad had a little war with this lmao. He would drive me to school at 8am and wake up at 7am and i'd wake up at 6:30am. Well he wanted up first so he woke up at 6:00am to beat me at first up. So one day I decide there is no way he'll do 5am and this madman started waking up at 4 fucking am, sometimes not even sleeping to be first up. The dude fell a sleep at the wheel a few time so I went back to 6:30am and never test the power of a dad again lmao.

[RainbowcityDAO]

me and my dad had a little war with this lmao. He would drive me to school at 8am and wake up at 7am and i'd wake up at 6:30am. Well he wanted up first so he woke up at 6:00am to beat me at first up. So one day I decide there is no way he'll do 5am and this madman started waking up at 4 fucking am, sometimes not even sleeping to be first up. The dude fell a sleep at the wheel a few time so I went back to 6:30am and never test the power of a dad again lmao.

Never warred with my dad over it, but I did used to get up when he did (around 4-5, he worked in construction) so I could spend a bit of time with him because he always came home late and exhausted. He’d make me a glass of warm milk and turn on the TV for me before he left.

[XIYEXIYE]

me and my dad had a little war with this lmao. He would drive me to school at 8am and wake up at 7am and i'd wake up at 6:30am. Well he wanted up first so he woke up at 6:00am to beat me at first up. So one day I decide there is no way he'll do 5am and this madman started waking up at 4 fucking am, sometimes not even sleeping to be first up. The dude fell a sleep at the wheel a few time so I went back to 6:30am and never test the power of a dad again lmao.

This made me laugh and I think my mom does this to me or us kids. When my brothers all use to live at home and still to this day. Me and my last brother, my recent job I woke up before anyone (5-5:30am) and my brother's job I have no idea when he wakes up for because I was the one who woke up first and left the house when he woke up until now that I am not working. I still wake up early but not as early as my mom.

[Pavel leslie]

me and my dad had a little war with this lmao. He would drive me to school at 8am and wake up at 7am and i'd wake up at 6:30am. Well he wanted up first so he woke up at 6:00am to beat me at first up. So one day I decide there is no way he'll do 5am and this madman started waking up at 4 fucking am, sometimes not even sleeping to be first up. The dude fell a sleep at the wheel a few time so I went back to 6:30am and never test the power of a dad again lmao.

Never warred with my dad over it, but I did used to get up when he did (around 4-5, he worked in construction) so I could spend a bit of time with him because he always came home late and exhausted. He’d make me a glass of warm milk and turn on the TV for me before he left.

What a sweet memory. My dad would drive me to high school and we’d sit in silence because I am NOT a morning person. I’d give up everything I own to go on just one more silent morning ride with him. He was the best. I haven’t thought of our morning drives in probably two decades. Thanks and I really miss you, Dad.

[canyouer]

me and my dad had a little war with this lmao. He would drive me to school at 8am and wake up at 7am and i'd wake up at 6:30am. Well he wanted up first so he woke up at 6:00am to beat me at first up. So one day I decide there is no way he'll do 5am and this madman started waking up at 4 fucking am, sometimes not even sleeping to be first up. The dude fell a sleep at the wheel a few time so I went back to 6:30am and never test the power of a dad again lmao.

Never warred with my dad over it, but I did used to get up when he did (around 4-5, he worked in construction) so I could spend a bit of time with him because he always came home late and exhausted. He’d make me a glass of warm milk and turn on the TV for me before he left.

What a sweet memory. My dad would drive me to high school and we’d sit in silence because I am NOT a morning person. I’d give up everything I own to go on just one more silent morning ride with him. He was the best. I haven’t thought of our morning drives in probably two decades. Thanks and I really miss you, Dad.

Recently I've become such a morning person it's nearly the night before. Can't sleepe at night and if I do I wake up any time from 2 to 4 a.m.

Have to be up at 6:30 to get the kids out, then I fall asleep in the day. Having real trouble breaking the cycle.

[Cullly]

me and my dad had a little war with this lmao. He would drive me to school at 8am and wake up at 7am and i'd wake up at 6:30am. Well he wanted up first so he woke up at 6:00am to beat me at first up. So one day I decide there is no way he'll do 5am and this madman started waking up at 4 fucking am, sometimes not even sleeping to be first up. The dude fell a sleep at the wheel a few time so I went back to 6:30am and never test the power of a dad again lmao.

Never warred with my dad over it, but I did used to get up when he did (around 4-5, he worked in construction) so I could spend a bit of time with him because he always came home late and exhausted. He’d make me a glass of warm milk and turn on the TV for me before he left.

What a sweet memory. My dad would drive me to high school and we’d sit in silence because I am NOT a morning person. I’d give up everything I own to go on just one more silent morning ride with him. He was the best. I haven’t thought of our morning drives in probably two decades. Thanks and I really miss you, Dad.

Recently I've become such a morning person it's nearly the night before. Can't sleepe at night and if I do I wake up any time from 2 to 4 a.m.

Have to be up at 6:30 to get the kids out, then I fall asleep in the day. Having real trouble breaking the cycle.

That’s wild, I’ve not heard of someone becoming a middle of the night morning person before! I’m a night owl and so is my entire family so it’s an eternal struggle for me.

Have you tried the basic OTC supplement melatonin to help you stay asleep a bit longer? It helps my spouse a lot. You usually take it 1-2 hrs before bed but in your case I’d take it at bedtime.

[XUNing]

I don't think It's weird in the slightest. I always try to get up before my family, it's lovely to have a cup of tea, read the paper and just generally gather my thoughts before the day takes over. In fact I can get a bit grumpy if I'm not able to have this alone time.

[BlackPinker]

No, sweetie, please don't worry about this. Many people need alone time to be with themselves and get their heads together, to make sense of the world and themselves. Some need a whole lot of alone time, some less. But whatever your needs are, it is in no way a rejection of your family. Think of it as being like recharging your batteries -- something you need to do, so that you can cheerfully give attention and patience to your loved ones when they need it. This practice probably makes you a much better companion the rest of the time. Don't worry about it.

[boyptc]

I've been married for 14 years... My wife thinks I'm weird cuz I always get up at 5h00 to read for two hours before the day starts... Actually I don't always read.. I just enjoy these two hours alone before she and the kids wake up.. that's the only time alone I can get in my day... And I really like it.. But I'm starting to think it might be weird or a bad sign... Like usually people love to spend time with their families.. Any married people out there with thoughts on this..?

Edit: THANK you for all the awards I really appreciate your feedback and support too !

I wish that I'm the same as you that I have something to read after I wake up early in the morning and don't have to get ready for work and other business matters.

Talk to your wife and explain what it gives you when you do that early in the morning. It's rare to see someone go through with that practice everyday and that's a positive thing IMHO.