Is there anyway I can tell when the network has forgotten about a unconfirmed transaction? Sorry for all the questions.
When it disappears from a majority of block explorers.
The default time for a node to drop an unconfirmed transaction is 14 days, but individual nodes are free to change this limit. However, many nodes are dropping low fee transactions much sooner than this because their mempools are hitting their maximum allowable size in terms of megabytes. If you look at the default mempool display here (
https://jochen-hoenicke.de/queue/#BTC%20(default%20mempool),8h), you'll notice that already everything below 5 sats/vbyte has already been dropped. However, if you look at your transactions on blockchair.com, you'll see that they are placed around 80k out of 110k, meaning there are still 30k transactions below yours in terms of fee which would be dropped first.
So depending on if the mempool fills up some more, stays static, or empties, will result if your transaction either dropping quickly, dropping after 14 days, or confirming. Impossible to predict, you'll just have to keep an eye on your transactions on various block explorers.