Apology to Nutildah

[SmokerFace]

Well, I looked back at my actions and words in the forum and thought I really am a duche bag, I tried to change that IRL by being a good person or at least tried to for over 5 years but It didn't work out.

I had a traumatized childhood, Parental abuse, Catholic church abuse, School teacher's abuse, and above all my parents didn't do anything to prevent teachers from physically and psychologically abusing me especially the Physical teacher.
Well, it had been a rough ride for me till now not saying I'm the only one here, But how many of you had Surveillance from the town's shopkeepers that kept informing ur father about your location and in which place where you were, every day.
And the father kept saying every night I'm watching you, It's only he did that with me but my younger brother, Abuse from teachers, Most of the children around me were retards, Pleasure seeking junkies that would sell out anyone around them to have a good time, and it continued till university where things settled down a big but not for long, being traumatized for that long a professor suggested me to visit university's Student affair cell, where I was allocated a Psychologist, She was good with high Emotional Intelligence, could read my Heart tears when I was expressing my childhood.... Then she asked me to call my father and ask him to visit her and I did call my father, He refused to visit and faked his visit by social engineering Security. And I told her that he faked it and isn't going to come.
My father always kept on saying never to leave him and I'm still saying in my house with mother and father but I don't allow them In, only mother comes in my room once a day and it has been going on for since last 3 months, before that, I was living with my grandparents.
My grandparents are landlords and my father is going to get that land after they pass away, But my father is a narcissistic retard that cannot think about anything but his Social image and is going to any length to maintain it.
My Grandfather said to me when I was leaving with my father "Tell me how much money you need for your business and I didn't say anything", He called me a few times and I didn't pick his call, neither the call of my AUNT that are still trying to reach me.

My mother isn't that good either but she thinks she's doing the right thing by following her tradition and forcing it on me.
Anyways my college degree was of 3 years and I stopped attending it after the 5th Semester and stayed in my apartment Now it's 5th year and i'm still not attending, My mother keeps on telling me I should attend college but I ignore the shit of her and while coming back from our Grandparent's house "I'll throw you out of the Car", They lied to me when they said we're going to another state but We came to our House., Denied all the calls from my father and mother.
Their Stalking wasn't limited to our Town but to my Local Shop owner also where he kept informing him about what I did, I caught them once talking to my father.
The owner of the shop saw it as an opportunity and asked me to work with him as he was starting up and offered me to go to a few parties with him and explained his business plan to me, I didn't care about that as well and ignored the shit out of him.
I thought University students were good but all were retards, I lent money to 2 friends around 40$ each, none of them returned but asked me to work with them in their business, again dog shit.

There had been many cases where he beat me in front of my relatives just to prove I'm under his control I was in 7th or 8th Grade at the time.
I don't have much time left anyways but a few more years.

In any case, I tried to cut my vein 4 days ago artery nerve on right hand's wrist, death from it is quite easy and mind goes unconscious after a few minutes if the cut is correct and there's no way to stop blood without Clinical doctor's help. And I tried that at right after locking my room, But I couldn't apply enough pressure to cut the nerve and left it after a few tries, even though it left a mark on my right hand, Never had problems with girls either, Female professors, girls in my class all wanted to talk to me but everything's so fked up for me That I didn't want to spread this misery to anyone.

I found this forum an easy way out to calm myself a bit and now I think I haven't done well.



Nutildah didn't come online since 12:05:49 PM, I was waiting for her reply on the thread and Now I think I've done wrong by saying certain things to her.

@Nutildah I apologize if what I said hurt you in any way, I won't do that again.

Also, @Yahoo sorry to you as well, hope your children are doing well as well, Shouldn't have dug the past when mistakes were made, they're made by everyone sorry to you as well.
My hunger to feed the ego was bigger than the well-being of someone else, Again please forgive me if possible.

[1715431620]

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[1715431620]

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[The Sceptical Chymist]

Ehhhhhh....I don't know what to think about this post.  Truly.  If you're being honest and not just trolling here, I'd say you definitely need a lot more help than you're getting.  Unfortunately I have no way of knowing if you're telling the truth or not--and this thread isn't directed toward me anyway, so I'm just chiming in.

I'm assuming you're a grown man, i.e., an adult.  You said you attended university, and I don't know if you graduated or not, but that would make you at least 18 or older, right?  And let's assume you're not trolling.  Is there any way you can get out of your parents' house?  Do you have any funds saved up or a job or some other means of living independently?  It sounds like a lot of your issues stem from your relationship with your mom and dad, so them being in close proximity all the time can't be healthy.

That's all I'm going to say, because a few other members have said you're trolling, and it's not as though members haven't written threads like this before as a means of getting attention or satisfaction from other members' reactions.  I usually don't take what people on the internet say at face value unless there's a good reason to, but in this case I'm leaning toward believing you.

[SmokerFace]

Ehhhhhh....I don't know what to think about this post.  Truly.  If you're being honest and not just trolling here, I'd say you definitely need a lot more help than you're getting.  Unfortunately I have no way of knowing if you're telling the truth or not--and this thread isn't directed toward me anyway, so I'm just chiming in.

I'm assuming you're a grown man, i.e., an adult.  You said you attended university, and I don't know if you graduated or not, but that would make you at least 18 or older, right?  And let's assume you're not trolling.  Is there any way you can get out of your parents' house?  Do you have any funds saved up or a job or some other means of living independently?  It sounds like a lot of your issues stem from your relationship with your mom and dad, so them being in close proximity all the time can't be healthy.

That's all I'm going to say, because a few other members have said you're trolling, and it's not as though members haven't written threads like this before as a means of getting attention or satisfaction from other members' reactions.  I usually don't take what people on the internet say at face value unless there's a good reason to, but in this case I'm leaning toward believing you.

Money is not the issue for me like I said, there are people IRL that'll easily lend me a over 50k$ but it's not like i can accept it.
So I'm not asking for a donation with this sob story, which isn't sob.

my age is between 22 - 26 y/o.

Yes my university is ongoing but I'm not attending, the course is for 3 years and staff from the university is calling my parents that are telling me you're wasting 2k$ each semester and I'm not attending the classes, But they can't force me now like my childhood so My to satisfy my Ego i refuse everything they say and it satisfies a lot, I remember i said to my mother that I've told Grandmother more than I ever told you "It made her cry", And I've stopped feeling, I don't feel anymore tbh.

@Pharmacist I can't say more but we used to exchange PP for BTC a few years back, If you figure out who I am then please don't say that in public.

[nutildah]

Well, I looked back at my actions and words in the forum and thought I really am a duche bag,

Yes, but to tell you the truth, yesterday I deleted 3 of my posts from 2015 that were really douchey and uncalled for, so let's just say I understand and I forgive you.

I tried to change that IRL by being a good person or at least tried to for over 5 years but It didn't work out.

Well, its not something that just happens, its continual work faced over a lifetime.

As far as everything else in your post is concerned, well that's a lot to lay on a forum, buddy. We all undergo the human experience. Its on us to make the most of it while still empathizing with the experience of others. That's about all I can think to say.

[decodx]

This forum continues to surprise me and you see something new every single day, that's all I can say.
One thing I just can't understand, why is it so hard for some people to separate private life from online identity?

[The Sceptical Chymist]

So I'm not asking for a donation with this sob story, which isn't sob.

I wasn't implying that you were, my man.  I was just wondering out loud whether you were being genuine or trolling.  Now I'm starting to really believe it's the former.  By the way, if the person you could borrow $50k from is a friend, my advice would be to never do that.  Borrowing or anything to do with money can ruin friendships in a heartbeat, believe me.

my age is between 22 - 26 y/o.

That's kind of what I figured.

And I've stopped feeling, I don't feel anymore tbh.

That's not good, but don't give up hope on life.  There are a lot of people who are going through some really shitty times right now, but they're not being as open about it as you are.  There are also a lot of people who've come back from the brink of suicide and problems that seemed insurmountable.  You're a young guy, and it's not easy adjusting to adulthood and everyone's expectations of you.  I sure as hell didn't have an easy time when I was your age.

@Pharmacist I can't say more but we used to exchange PP for BTC a few years back, If you figure out who I am then please don't say that in public.

Don't take offense to this, but I don't remember doing a deal with you at all--but I wouldn't give out your identity even if I had it, so don't worry about that.

One thing I just can't understand, why is it so hard for some people to separate private life from online identity?

Not sure exactly what you mean here, but the younger generation has grown up online so it might be harder to have an "online persona" that's different than who they are in real life.  I'm not 100% certain of that--it's just a theory, though I do know the internet plays a much bigger role in the lives of millenials, zoomers, and whatever generations there are up to the Gen Zs, and it's probably true of a lot of the Zs and older folks, too.

[philipma1957]

This forum continues to surprise me and you see something new every single day, that's all I can say.
One thing I just can't understand, why is it so hard for some people to separate private life from online identity?

Lets pretend he or she is fairly truthful.

If so he or she needs help.

Not sure this forum could help him.

But my advice would be  find a doctor and or a victims of abuse organization.


https://www.havoca.org/ maybe go to this link

"HAVOCA – Help for Adult Victims Of Child Abuse"

I wish you success

"Every Survivor has the right to become a Thriver."

please note quotes are from the link

[LoyceV]

The title is about nutildah, but 90% of what you post is about yourself.

What I take from this is that you seem to think everyone else is a retard. That attitude isn't going to help you get forward in life.

I'm glad to see you're no longer advertising for scammers in your signature.

But my advice would be  find a doctor and or a victims of abuse organization.

^^ This!
Forums can get you sympathy, but that's not going to help you. Get someone in real life. Set goals for yourself: where do you want to be in 5 years, and what do you need to do the next month to start moving in that direction. Get help with this.

My Grandfather said to me when I was leaving with my father "Tell me how much money you need for your business and I didn't say anything", He called me a few times and I didn't pick his call, neither the call of my AUNT that are still trying to reach me.

Don't be an asshole to the few people who may still care about you! Accept help when it's offered, and be honest to them.

[nutildah]

The post is far over the top and laden with layers of who knows what but I accept his apology. It strikes me as oddly sincere.

And I'm glad its more about him than me. If you miss that, we could always summon c-hunter.

I was just thinking about what if the-one-who-shant-be-named had this type of revelatory moment on the forum. What do you think the odds of that are?

[NotATether]

I had a traumatized childhood, Parental abuse, Catholic church abuse, School teacher's abuse, and above all my parents didn't do anything to prevent teachers from physically and psychologically abusing me especially the Physical teacher.

Bro. I am also a trauma victim. But it is not a reason to troll on any online space.

You should focus on financially getting out of your situation & family like I did - social media and internet bulletin boards are not going to help you with that.

[lovesmayfamilis]

I will not touch upon the problem of OP, but today it is very fashionable to talk about all the problems occurring in people's lives, that everything comes from childhood. Complaining that you had bad parents, and you were badly raised, cannot be an excuse when it comes to an adult. Read what methods were used to raise children a hundred years ago. Well, and as motivation, read the stories of talented people who had a difficult childhood.
The constant excuse for their bad deeds looks like cowardice. If a person realizes the mistakes of his parents, this should be a reason for his own growth and not a repetition of what he has gone through on other people.
Although there is a saying, "He's been resisting, but it's in his blood."

[Timelord2067]

I really am a duche bag

Comedy Gold!

Where did you plagerise that diatribe from, I wonder?

[BitcoinGirl.Club]

I do not think anyone in the earth does not have traumatic experience. We all had our bad past times. We have been mentally and physically abused. But throwing away same shit to other does not make you a good person. It's not the good use of the experience you had. In fact admire it and let it not happen to others. Be nice to others, don't expect the same from them. Keep being nice, it's a pay it forward practice. The world will return your contribution. It's law of the nature. Sometimes it takes our whole life to realize it, sometimes we do not realize it at all. But good thing happens to us. Make them memorable when it happens and just don't care about the abusive part of your life. It's hard but when you practice peace, when you focus on positive energy months after months and years after years then the positive energy starts driving you, you good works start to reward you. Be with the persons who inspires you (in a good way), leave the circle that hates you, hurt you. You will find peace.

If your story is true then I feel sorry for you. You did not have control over your life when you were a child or even a teen. Now you are adult, learn to face challenges, learn to separate right from wrong, stay with people who inspire you. And pay it forward. Make yourself a better person.

In internet no one cares about others. We don't know each others but you always have a choice. Going with right choice makes you a good man.

One thing I just can't understand, why is it so hard for some people to separate private life from online identity?

Emotion. An urge to find a peace may be.

[JeromeTash]

I'm glad to see you're no longer advertising for scammers in your signature.\

Probably because the campaign ended. I am sure he would still be wearing it and trolling too if the campaign wasn't for just one week.

The trolling and false accusations he made while he was enrolled in the campaign makes it difficult to believe if he's being genuine this time round or just trying to add another twist to the drama.

[decodx]

SmokerFace, you should have stopped when you had the advantage. Now, we're back in the same old shitstorm.

[Timelord2067]

I'm looking forward to seeing the photos of you being probed by the little green men right before they whisked you away in their UFO...

Presumably they used their slime as lube?

[owlcatz]

Holy fuckin troll thread of the month  

Let's just stop replying.... Nutildah basically closed the thread with his first reply ffs.

OP - You are very clearly majorly fucked in the head, and don't take the wrong way, I'm fucked in the head too, we all are fucked in the head to some extent; But please, get some real life help man, and stop posting/commenting... It's really not that big a fuckin' deal like nutildah already told ya man, let it fuckin go dude

The conclusion I've come to is - We all have Dimensions within this Body those Dimensions are called Chakras aka Energy centres.

Karma!

I believe karma is real and there's a science to it as well.

These are literally the only 2 things you said which I believe/know are real, the rest is just alien type bullshit, face it bud.

I hope you get the help you need. You need to stop watching youtube too btw, it's fucking your head up even more.. 🤷‍♂️