Let’s say I’m a Russian soldier...

[Toughit]

A little humor.


Let’s say I’m a Russian soldier in Ukraine, and I’ve been freezing my tiny putin off for the last 3 weeks, not able to sleep in my tank because I’m afraid of a special delivery from UPS (not United Parcel Service, but the Ukrainian Pummeling Soldiers).

I gave up my cell phone months ago, I have no idea where I am, and 3 of my friends have been killed within feet of me.

I ran out of toilet paper, hell, I ran out of toilets themselves weeks ago, and my hands smell bad.  

I  haven’t had a shower in 2 months, the one meal I get every other day isn’t even cooked, and my sarge, Boris, is starting to look like my smoking hot girlfriend Irena:



I'm not very happy and I don't know how it will end.



Communication is everything.

Do these Russians solders know:
-   How to surrender
-   Where to go to surrender
-   What financial rewards are available for selling my tank?
-   Who offers escrow service so that I can sell my tank to paxmao
-   How can I tell people at home the bad things I’m doing.
-   How to tell Serbsky Center that KingScorpio has escaped

Drop some prepaid cell phones with a 1-800-Sellmytank number pre-programmed.

Drop some Leaflets “How to get rich quick – sell your tank”



Give them directions, give them options

- How to communicate back to the Russian people (cells phones) get them texting pictures to mom
- Give them directions on how to end their situation
- Leave billboards with 1-800-Surrender phone numbers



Good Luck Ukrainians!



Picture from:https://www.dreamstime.com

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[suchmoon]

Ukrainians are communicating the concept of surrender quite well I think, in the form of Javelins. Quick, targeted, high-impact marketing, with hard-to-ignore visual/audible/thermal effects.

[af_newbie]

You know it is not funny if you are a Russian soldier in Ukraine right now.

You know that the chances are very high you will be killed sooner or later.  The best thing you can do is surrender if you want to live.

How long do you think your army will be safe in Ukraine? Well, if you know anything about Ukrainians, you'd know that you will NEVER be safe
in Ukraine.

Your führer thinks that if he installs a new government, brings new police from Russia, the country will be safe?
The foreign officials and local collaborators and their families will be dying like flies until the last one is still breathing.

The Ukrainian government created a website for Russian soldiers with information on how to surrender.

[coolcoinz]

All that text and I was laughing already at "freezing my tiny putin".

They don't sleep in their tanks because it's below 0 inside and outside (no fuel to waste on heating), but it smells better outside. Imagine sleeping with 2 other guys in a tiny enclosed space. All three of you haven't taken a shower or changed the underwear for a week, all of you just ate a military ration that expired in 2017 and Boris likes to sleep with his boots off.

[TheCoinGrabber]

That's what happens when you insist on putin it where it shouldn't be. 

Those poor soldiers though, I've seen various vids of them and they look like they hate to be there. Like there's one lady giving one sunflower seeds so that it sprout where he die. The guy just look dejected the entire time. I don't sense the same murderous drive the Japanese had during WW2, these guys like majority of Russians don't like this war.

[KingScorpio]

russian soldiers are heros they fight against a genocidal regime that the west have installed in ukraine

people backing the Zelniski regime should be ashamed of themselves they are brainwashed by woke left media

[Slow death]

russian soldiers are heros they fight against a genocidal regime that the west have installed in ukraine

For you, those many people who are dying because Russia invaded their country are necessary deaths? Are you jumping for joy at the death of many people? are you happy with it? If your parents and brothers and your whole family died there, would you be jumping for joy? where is heroism in killing innocent people?

people backing the Zelniski regime should be ashamed of themselves they are brainwashed by woke left media

stop, you need urgent treatment. your political fanaticism has blinded you. you are sick

[suchmoon]

Feel free to pass this on to any Russian soldiers you know:

[KingScorpio]

russian soldiers are heros they fight against a genocidal regime that the west have installed in ukraine

For you, those many people who are dying because Russia invaded their country are necessary deaths? Are you jumping for joy at the death of many people? are you happy with it? If your parents and brothers and your whole family died there, would you be jumping for joy? where is heroism in killing innocent people?

people backing the Zelniski regime should be ashamed of themselves they are brainwashed by woke left media

stop, you need urgent treatment. your political fanaticism has blinded you. you are sick

who started with the genocide in donnbass? it wasn't putin it was the ukranians.

they where told 8 years by putin to stop their genocide but they refused


you can't deny the Existence of Donbass Genocide,

and at the same time accuse the Serbs of commiting a genocide against kosovo albanians.

accuse the germans of the holocaust.

[paxmao]

Communication is everything.

Do these Russians solders know:
-   How to surrender
-   Where to go to surrender
-   What financial rewards are available for selling my tank?
-   Who offers escrow service so that I can sell my tank to paxmao
-   How can I tell people at home the bad things I’m doing.
-   How to tell Serbsky Center that KingScorpio has escaped

Drop some prepaid cell phones with a 1-800-Sellmytank number pre-programmed.

Drop some Leaflets “How to get rich quick – sell your tank”

Oh, I had not thought that anyone would need an escrow to sell his tank to me and certainly I should consider marketing options beyond posting on the forum.

What the heck, I am offering 100 USD and an Uber to the nearest bus or train station. Also, a letter signed with my bitcoin signature stating that this soldier has chosen wisely, sold his vehicle and that I vouch for his lack of willingness to die for Putin.

... blah blah jew nazis, bla bla coke consumer bla bla propaganda....

None of that drives Putin's aggression, you should be asking your troll farm leader for something actually believable.

Feel free to pass this on to any Russian soldiers you know:



...

Excellent! They may not know the universal sign for surrender, so this is helpful. I wonder if I could add my telegram user.

[LTU_btc]

I'm prety sure that Russian soldiers know how surrender, plenty of them already did it. It's one of few chances for them to stay alive. Either they will be killed by Ukrainians sooner or later, or if they will try to go back, they will by killed by chechen troops who are sent there to destroy deserters.
P.S. part about freezing ttiny putin gave me laugh, that was good one .

who started with the genocide in donnbass? it wasn't putin it was the ukranians.

they where told 8 years by putin to stop their genocide but they refused

Well, people in Donbass were living in peace until Putin didn't came here back in 2014. But I'm not sure why I still waste my time responding to your shitposts.

[Lucius]

@Toughit, the idea is not really bad, because as far as I hear a very large number of Russian soldiers do not want to take part in the war, but it is not easy and simple to surrender. Yet some have found a way, and this video of a Russian soldier fed by Ukrainians was certainly very inspiring for many Russian soldiers.

https://nypost.com/2022/03/02/video-shows-crying-russian-soldier-drinking-tea-calling-mom/