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Solution:
You send a miner money off-chain, for them to include your transaction in the block.
--snip--
Unsure if anyone has thoughts on this service would help the lightning network or other products.
Or if this idea has been thrown around before.
There are already several mining pools that do exactly this... For example viabtc:
https://www.viabtc.com/tools/txacceleratorBut yeah, cpfp is usually cheaper and faster than paying a pool operator...