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Author Topic: I feel guilty.  (Read 454 times)
Marvell1
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January 07, 2023, 09:00:01 AM
 #41

It's not your fault, I guarantee he'll smoke without you, it's his choice, you didn't force him, don't feel guilty, get on with your life, don't let it affect you.

Exactly, if OP weren't the first person to teach him to smoke, then out of curiosity and really wanting to do it, he will smoke in a different way, so OP is not at fault here. OP shouldn't care what drunks and addicts say because their minds aren't clear, and I believe they don't even know what they're talking about until they're sober. But it would be great if OP could take him to rehab and get his sanity back. It was a good thing to do since the two of them were once best friends.

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Ndabagi01
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January 07, 2023, 04:28:37 PM
 #42

One or way or the other, he was destined to become a smoker. Even though you never introduced him into it, some one might have already done it by now. His course of action should be blamed on him. At least you tried to stop him from over smoking but he refused. It’s okay if you feel guilty for that, it’s because you still have human feelings. If there’s anyway you can help him, it’ll be better for all. He was once your friend and you guys have spent great memories together, so you can help him. I hope he quits for good this time around.

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Marykeller
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January 07, 2023, 04:52:50 PM
 #43

You are in the present state of being, feeling guilty of the past lifestyle that put someone into his present condition now, is not something to feel guilty of because you didn't force him to join you in smoking. He joined you of his own free will just to feel belonged and he got what he was looking for.

I find it funny how he opened his mouth to blame you for life messed up. Has he forgotten that he was the one that wanted to feel belonged by smoking with you?

You better have your mind at rest, if you can't because he is your friend, then take him to the rehabilitation center that's the only remedy to save him from his adversity.



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January 09, 2023, 06:51:54 AM
 #44

It's not your fault. It's the same smoking. Some people still work smoothly and be happy. But he smokes excessively, has nothing to do every day, and doesn't make progress. This is caused by himself, and you can't blame it on you.
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January 09, 2023, 10:27:37 PM
 #45

I want to tell you in this narrow is that many people live their own lives the way they feel and there's people that have things around the environment can influence so I think it's too don't have to know each direction of life and they know the particular friends that it will follow so without that that particular student who doesn't know about another student that it will follow we end up by following people that will continue to influence him or her to another thing

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January 10, 2023, 01:41:43 PM
 #46

from your story, you are innocent. many of the people here say you are innocent.

 your guilt should not be left too late, because it will only disquiet yourself.

and even if you still feel guilty, then like you said, you're not going to introduce a behavior that will be addictive no matter how mature the person claims to be. I think this is enough to overcome your guilt.
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January 10, 2023, 03:39:11 PM
 #47

Feeling guilty is normal as human being since you have a guilty conscience.you will be the one that won't allow your guilty conscience to weigh you down,cause you didn't force him"according to the story"
he chose the part himself.
If helping him will make you happy and comfortable,you can just do that if opportuned to see him again.
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January 10, 2023, 04:15:54 PM
 #48

My brother, you are not the cause of his predicament. God gave us all the power of choice, and I'm sure he's over 18, which means he knows right from wrong. Free your mind, bro!
While I was a student, my roommate each time he saw me smoking was always disturbing me that he wanted to smoke with me. At first, I rejected his plea but when he persisted we started smoking together. His urge for smoking within a few months grew more than mine. He began to come home with packs of cigarettes and some bottles of beer. I don't drink alcohol but I was sure that it was the introduction to smoking that also attracted him to alcohol.

Recently I met him in a motor park,  he is now a chained smoker and drunkard. He was practically wearing rags and misbehaving. I called him and we started talking, I discovered that he dropped out of school and was now unemployed. When I tried to advise him to quit this destructive character, he began to shout telling everyone that cared to hear that I was the one that introduced him to smoking. He told them that I was responsible for his problems. People on my bus began to ask me if it was true and I shamefully told them; yes!

I have quit smoking a long time ago because of its health consequences. But since I met him, I have felt guilty that I am responsible for my friend's downfall.

I have decided never to introduce anybody to any behavior that can be addictive no matter how mature the person might claim to be. Introducing people to smoking, drinking, sex, gambling or other counterproductive activities might be funny or interesting but it could be destructive. I am considering apologizing to him and taking him to a rehabilitation center if I ever set my eyes on him again.
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January 12, 2023, 02:49:44 PM
 #49

It is natural  to feel guilty it shows that you're still human,

The errors we make growing up is part of who we are,  we shouldn't live in regrets because every bad or good story has got lessons to be learnt,

What is more important now is the way forward,  wallowing in regrets won't change anything,  just as you've decided to act on the positive by wanting to  rehabilitate your friend is a right move but don't just stop there,
 share your story of this incident , it will help save lives for those who have the intentions of sharing habits or informations that might affect  people's lives perhaps  forever ,

Everything happens for a reason  , it is what we make out of it that counts  ,

It was necessary for Judah Iscariot to betray Jesus Christ for the prophesy to be fulfilled  , if he hadn't done it,  the prophecy wouldn't had been fulfilled  , but him committing suicide wasn't part of it,  so it is what you make out of what you think is your errors that matters ,

In life just remember that it is necessary to make errors sometimes
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January 12, 2023, 09:57:48 PM
 #50

I have a younger bro that turned to a smoker overnight, I never believed it myself when I was getting the rumors from close friends not until I had to stumble on him one blessed day while in the very act. That day I felt disappointed not just in him but in myself that maybe I didn't play my role very well in advising him as an elder bro should to a junior. He fell into the wrong peers and was influenced not just into smoking but with hard drugs too.

I have because of him placed some sign posts and write ups around the house on dangers of smoking and hard drugs intake, in my quiet time I give a word of prayer for him and sometimes I talk with him about it and he promises to stop and days later gets back to it. But am somehow convinced someday he will on his own quit.
So OP I understand why the feeling of guilt within you, and I can give you as advise is don't force him to quit, go easy on him and don't fail to pray for him too.



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January 17, 2023, 09:55:25 AM
 #51

While I was a student, my roommate each time he saw me smoking was always disturbing me that he wanted to smoke with me. At first, I rejected his plea but when he persisted we started smoking together. His urge for smoking within a few months grew more than mine. He began to come home with packs of cigarettes and some bottles of beer. I don't drink alcohol but I was sure that it was the introduction to smoking that also attracted him to alcohol.

Recently I met him in a motor park,  he is now a chained smoker and drunkard. He was practically wearing rags and misbehaving. I called him and we started talking, I discovered that he dropped out of school and was now unemployed. When I tried to advise him to quit this destructive character, he began to shout telling everyone that cared to hear that I was the one that introduced him to smoking. He told them that I was responsible for his problems. People on my bus began to ask me if it was true and I shamefully told them; yes!

I have quit smoking a long time ago because of its health consequences. But since I met him, I have felt guilty that I am responsible for my friend's downfall.

I have decided never to introduce anybody to any behavior that can be addictive no matter how mature the person might claim to be. Introducing people to smoking, drinking, sex, gambling or other counterproductive activities might be funny or interesting but it could be destructive. I am considering apologizing to him and taking him to a rehabilitation center if I ever set my eyes on him again.


Do not think about setting your eye on him again; just go and take him to a rehabilitation center. Yes, you had made this mistake, but it doesn't mean you cannot fix the problem caused to him. Just stay strong, ask him to stay strong, and take him to a good rehabilitation center. I am sure that all artificial issues can be resolved. Good luck to you and your friend.

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January 17, 2023, 07:26:57 PM
 #52

I have decided never to introduce anybody to any behavior that can be addictive no matter how mature the person might claim to be. Introducing people to smoking, drinking, sex, gambling or other counterproductive activities might be funny or interesting but it could be destructive. I am considering apologizing to him and taking him to a rehabilitation center if I ever set my eyes on him again.

I really appreciate it, if you really do to take him to the rehabilitation center, moreover, if you apologize beforehand.

as a whole, actually you didn't really do anything wrong or lead him to bad behavior.
IMO, it's actually a matter of attitude. if from the start your friend has a firm stand, he will not be tempted every time you are smoking. based on what you tell, chances are that your friend chose the wrong association other than being friends with you. he is tempted to try other things, which he finds interesting especially at a young age. which in the end, your friend should be responsible for himself.
well, there is a lesson for you to learn to no longer introduce something that can cause bad things in someone's life.

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January 17, 2023, 08:21:22 PM
 #53

<I think you need to get up to some real spin.

Throw some "shit" and see what sticks.
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January 18, 2023, 05:46:22 PM
 #54

Well I will say that been in a guilty state of your self is about the wrong thing you did or you are doing now,living a life of guilty is life you planning to fall someones faith and goals.
I feel guilty when I first gave my girlfriend hard drug to take it but when she started misbehaving I felt so bad because I never wanted her o have the drug but she never stop asking so I told to try one of it and when the reaction came up I was very sad and I thought that was her end,but when all this came over I stop taking drugs and also warn her never to try or hid to take hard drugs any day in her life.

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January 20, 2023, 06:29:18 PM
 #55

While I was a student, my roommate each time he saw me smoking was always disturbing me that he wanted to smoke with me. At first, I rejected his plea but when he persisted we started smoking together. His urge for smoking within a few months grew more than mine. He began to come home with packs of cigarettes and some bottles of beer. I don't drink alcohol but I was sure that it was the introduction to smoking that also attracted him to alcohol.

Recently I met him in a motor park,  he is now a chained smoker and drunkard. He was practically wearing rags and misbehaving. I called him and we started talking, I discovered that he dropped out of school and was now unemployed. When I tried to advise him to quit this destructive character, he began to shout telling everyone that cared to hear that I was the one that introduced him to smoking. He told them that I was responsible for his problems. People on my bus began to ask me if it was true and I shamefully told them; yes!

I have quit smoking a long time ago because of its health consequences. But since I met him, I have felt guilty that I am responsible for my friend's downfall.

I have decided never to introduce anybody to any behavior that can be addictive no matter how mature the person might claim to be. Introducing people to smoking, drinking, sex, gambling or other counterproductive activities might be funny or interesting but it could be destructive. I am considering apologizing to him and taking him to a rehabilitation center if I ever set my eyes on him again.
For me it seems that he was really into it at an early age he just needed someone to help him get into it.
It was all his decision he shouldn't blame it on you,
If a person doesn't really want it or it was just introduce to them they would quit whenever they want.



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January 21, 2023, 06:26:25 AM
 #56

Quit smoking to survive

Once upon a time, there was a young man named Greg who smoked cigarettes every day. He knew it was bad for his health, but he couldn't quit. One day, he went to the doctor for a check-up and found out he had lung cancer. The doctor told him that it was caused by his smoking habit. He was shocked and saddened by the news. He realized that he had to quit smoking if he wanted to have any chance of survival. With the help of his family and friends, he managed to quit smoking and undergo treatment for his cancer. He also started to exercise and eat healthier. His cancer went into remission, and he was able to live a normal life again. He was grateful for the second chance and never smoked again. He also became an advocate for others to quit smoking to avoid the same fate as him.
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