Biting more than i can chew. How can i do better?

[Agbamoni]

I am a young man who is not married. I have made some mistakes in how I use money and the resources I obtain. So, I have come to share this problem with everyone in the hope of finding help and changing the way I misuse money. I have a psychological memory from my upbringing that money is earned and should be spent as long as you keep earning. I see money as something that needs to be spent. If I see something I like or desire, I buy it without minding the cost as long as I really like it. Yep. Many years of self-employment with varying monthly income were like a blessing to me since I started designing and building websites. This little money made me a bit proud of myself and where I've come. I made a lot of friends, and whenever they asked me for anything, if I had the money in my possession, I'd disburse it to them. I was happy to receive praise that I was the best friend a person could ever have. I won't forget when I started going to clubs and spending money on luxurious clothes and booking rides from one city to another.

All of a sudden, everything changed. I lost one of my most loyal clients due to a car accident. I started getting fewer job opportunities. My monthly earnings were so low that I could hardly afford anything. All the friends I had left me, with only a few remaining. That's when I realized that I could do better. It's been over five months now, and things are still not completely okay for me. But I want to change and plan for myself.

The main reason I'm sharing this topic is to get your own opinions and advice so that I can do better. I believe it's because of poor financial management that I've fallen to this level. I've been doing things that I now realize were not the right things to do because I don't have any financial stability. Last week, I felt ashamed when people see how frustrated i am because I had bitten off more than I could chew. I'm open to opinions and helpful insights to start again, but this time in a more stable and responsible manner.

[joniboini]

Hope things get better for you. Honestly, it is hard for me to comment on your situation since the suggestions seem quite obvious at first glance that it might sound offensive. If you currently lack monthly income, why don't you try to open a service thread to make websites, etc? Or look for a part-time job near your area. For your financial management, I don't think the mindset you had is right. You need to manage money, not always spend it. Luckily you seem to have realized it already.

If you're asking how to save your money, I can only share how I did it. Personally, I will calculate how much monthly spending that I need to pay. I would avoid buying things through credit or lending money to others unless I'm sure I can pay the next 6 months without any problem. I'd allocate most of my money to saving/investment, and avoid buying luxury/unnecessary things. I think it is a matter of habit too. Learning to cook for example is one of the easiest ways to save money.

[Despairo]

All the friends I had left me, with only a few remaining. That's when I realized that I could do better.

This is the lesson, trust no one and don't put any hope to anyone including your best friend or girlfriend/boyfriend.

I think I don't have to give any advice because it's full of motivation and use your common sense, but if you're want to get rich you must get a better job, spend less and always try to become productive by learn a new thing especially a skill that could help you to get a high paying job.

Never spend money because of someone.

[bayu7adi]

Your story is enough to teach you a valuable lesson so you don't repeat the same mistake the next time. You probably can't save money when you have money, and I've experienced the same thing. It's all because earning money feels so easy. But when you earn money in a slightly more difficult way, you will be able to save and refrain from buying something that has no value.

Yes, what you need is the next chance and fix what went wrong the previous time. Maybe your current condition is not the best, but you will find that you will get better as time goes by. Rest assured, your first mistake that you regret will be a lesson that will make you better.

Usually people who have run out of money will have greater enthusiasm to make money. And that will be a better reflection of your economy than before. Keep your enthusiasm and don't give up on circumstances.

[stadus]

You refer to yourself as self-employed, indicating that your income depends on your work. It's an experience that can offer valuable insights into life's realities. I would recommend considering the idea of starting your own business, one that can grow over the long term. This way, you can create a source of income that doesn't rely solely on your personal efforts. It's not always easy to be in that position, but thinking ahead is essential.

While you're currently employed, it's a good idea to explore additional income sources. Over time, you can accumulate capital to invest in the business you desire, which can lead to financial stability. Furthermore, diversifying your income across multiple businesses in different industries is a smart move. It provides a safety net in case one business faces challenges or struggles.

[YUriy1991]

If we have money people will say "that's my brother" and vice versa...that's normal and don't think too much about it. Do it with pleasure and there will be a reward in return for you later without you expecting it. This is the same as the current money market conditions which allow investors to make bets based on the results and past correction moments tend to find support at the resistance line.

Just enjoy it, my friend..

[Poker Player]

You've already taken the first step, getting interested in personal finance. There is a system that is very simple and works very well which is the 7 baby steps by Dave Ramsey, which I recommend you to follow.

It is basically about controlling expenses and income, building an emergency fund for unforeseen events, getting rid of consumer debts, and saving and investing. If you have an unstable income you have to calculate an average and spend based on that. If you have had a good emergency fund of 6 months of expenses, you would have experienced what you say has happened to you in a very different way.

Until now you had a tendency to spend everything you earned but that can change and this thread is proof of that. It's not a thing you're going to change overnight but you'll get there.

[Tytanowy Janusz]

The first thing is to read a few books that will help you expand your horizons and show the shallowness of such a basic need as the need to have a new gadget. I recommend, for example, Harrari (who calls capitalism and consumerism new religions that thies their best to convince people that the source of happiness is spending). Secondly, books about stoicism. Moreover, it might be worth consulting a psychologist, because compulsive shopping is a disorder that can be treated.

[Accardo]

The first thing is to read a few books that will help you expand your horizons and show the shallowness of such a basic need as the need to have a new gadget. I recommend, for example, Harrari (who calls capitalism and consumerism new religions that thies their best to convince people that the source of happiness is spending). Secondly, books about stoicism. Moreover, it might be worth consulting a psychologist, because compulsive shopping is a disorder that can be treated.

You're right, nothing wrong is with OP, he only thinks of himself that way because of his losses. When we have the resources we do what makes us happy. That's what it is to the invisible hands controlling the market. The car owners he booked and clothe sellers also need to sell their products and as well spend it on what makes them happy. A business that needs a website to be happy would run to OP to get it done. These can't be controlled, it's all about how wealth circulates amongst people. I don't think Op needs a psychologist, I was reflecting on something yesterday on money spending. What do we do when we have no money to spend? this could be a good question enough to start a fresh thread, but would love to look into it here for the sake of OP. Sometimes when no money is in our possession we would manage the little funds with us and also think that we were extravagant when we had reasonable sum of money. We'll begin to see opportunities we lost, because of our drive to live a luxurious life. Does these habits change when the money comes right back? In a bit it will, but sooner we'll definitely go back to our previous ways of spending money. Hence, we'll see that the invisible hands operates around those with money and leaves people with no money alone. When we have no money, lesser people ask for our help financially compared to when we do have the funds. I do wonder about, how these people get to know that I just received money few hours back and they're seeking for my financial help. You'd notice that nothing is happening under anyone's control even OP. I can't offer him a direct response, as he's done nothing wrong. It's not his fault he ran out of sales. I know he'll be worrying about, why he didn't use those funds he felt wasted on friends in the club, to promote his business to reach better audience. I'd like to ask OP, if he used all that money to promote his business and never got a single sales from it. Would he think of himself of being irresponsible with his wealth?  Human nature feels vulnerable when restricted to different lifestyles that brings them happiness. And lack of money is the best moderator on such matters. Providing him with answers like you should learn to save next time and all that, will only worsen his private thoughts of himself. Especially, when he mentioned that we should be reasonable with the way we respond to his questions and previous behavior.

I can say OP should do that thing again. What fetched him clients and money. It's always great to notice what we do when we have no money, and things we do when we have money. It can never be similar. These are two different times in a man's life. It'll surprise you to know that, some people don't get bothered when no money is in their account. They still live a great life, due to the kind of friends and family they've got. But, it's important to also know that you can't live the way you think now, you'll live when another wealth traces its way to you. Only few men who can delay gravity. Would have money and still maintain to live their lifestyle like when they had no money. Peace.

[michellee]

After reading your story, there are several things you should change so that you don't feel guilty or you can change things that are not necessary. OK, here we go.

I have a psychological memory from my upbringing that money is earned and should be spent as long as you keep earning. I see money as something that needs to be spent. If I see something I like or desire, I buy it without minding the cost as long as I really like it.

When you have money, you can buy many things you want. But you must also remember to save some of that money for your future. You must have experienced something where you didn't have any money at all and that made it difficult for you to meet your living needs. From now on, if you have it, try to take a few percent to save. That's for your future. Regardless of whether you desire to invest in Bitcoin, make sure you also save.

I made a lot of friends, and whenever they asked me for anything, if I had the money in my possession, I'd disburse it to them. I was happy to receive praise that I was the best friend a person could ever have. I won't forget when I started going to clubs and spending money on luxurious clothes and booking rides from one city to another.

There's nothing wrong with giving what your friends ask for, but you should sort out which friends you should give and which you shouldn't give. You can't treat all friends the same because there will be those who intend to take advantage of you. You have to admit this and start looking for and finding friends who are truly friends as your close friends. We really like receiving praise, but it can make us arrogant and possibly put other friends down. Try learning to save money because it is for your good too.

All of a sudden, everything changed. I lost one of my most loyal clients due to a car accident. I started getting fewer job opportunities. My monthly earnings were so low that I could hardly afford anything. All the friends I had left me, with only a few remaining. That's when I realized that I could do better. It's been over five months now, and things are still not completely okay for me. But I want to change and plan for myself.

If you can save your income from the time you start earning, you will not have difficulty surviving. But it has happened and there is no need to regret it.

Only good friends will stay with us when we are experiencing difficulties. They are the ones who will continue to fight with us and help us find solutions. You must value these friends because they are truly your true friends. Such friends are hard to find so don't disappoint them.

The main reason I'm sharing this topic is to get your own opinions and advice so that I can do better. I believe it's because of poor financial management that I've fallen to this level. I've been doing things that I now realize were not the right things to do because I don't have any financial stability. Last week, I felt ashamed when people see how frustrated i am because I had bitten off more than I could chew. I'm open to opinions and helpful insights to start again, but this time in a more stable and responsible manner.

You have to get up, no matter what. You should be able to earn perhaps more income than before. Once you earn income, you should start saving and use some of it to invest in Bitcoin. Try to save on your expenses by buying only daily necessities. Improve your relationship with your close friends because there might be a better business offer. Ignore all the praise from people and assume that you still need to learn to improve yourself so you don't become arrogant.

[Majestic-milf]

 There's the saying that once there's money, you'd have a lot of friends because just like bees are attracted to money, that's the same way they are with one who is an easy spender.
I feel the first step to changing for the better is admitting your faults because it will help speed up the recovery process more than when you choose to shift blame on others. With the current economy status, it would not be advisable to spend out of impulse or a whim but rather, have a budget and stick by it and that way you can save money.
 Being self employed has its perks as it gives you sole authority of not just the profits, but also the decision making but it can be quite telling when you have to brainstorm on ideas alone and as you mentioned you were in an accident which is quite unfortunate, it will also affect your creativity and can put a strain on you which will in turn affect the business as low performance can result to you not getting much gigs, which you pointed out by the way, so for me I'd suggest you either look for someone who you can partner with while you are recuperating so you two could brainstorm ideas together, that way the load doesn't lie on you and when the profit comes, you share fifty fifty. Yeah that's expenses you are trying to avoid but half is better than nothing.

[lovesmayfamilis]

The story is very relatable to all young people who later have to grow up. I can relate your experience to mine. Parents who help and do not deny their child anything can greatly harm him in the future. But you earned your own living, and in this way, you can be respected. Yes, not everyone is given a book on how to lead their own correct life, but if you achieve something once, you will do it again.
Another question is when a person enters life very spoiled and all the problems that he did not expect splash out on him at the moment. This requires self-confidence and strength.
And for you, OP, I think everything will be fine. You have the right to a beautiful life—the one that everyone wants to have. You've seen a few examples and gained some experience, and now, as you grow up, you know that money tends to run out randomly. Therefore, first, create a financial safety net for yourself and continue to enjoy life.

[pinggoki]

You've said that you've grown to believe that as long as you've means to make money, you don't have to worry about spending and given that it's instilled to you at such a young age I assume, you're going to have a hard time being able to change the way you see money and your spending because the habit and mindset is too innate that a change would be difficult, you can probably do it in two days and then you're going to relapse to your old habits, I suggest that you talk this out with a financial expert that can help you in your spending and a psychologist to help you or guide you into rewiring how you think when it comes to money and removing the old habits and mindset that you want to change or remove. Self-help books can be helpful too.

[arwin100]

The main reason I'm sharing this topic is to get your own opinions and advice so that I can do better. I believe it's because of poor financial management that I've fallen to this level. I've been doing things that I now realize were not the right things to do because I don't have any financial stability. Last week, I felt ashamed when people see how frustrated i am because I had bitten off more than I could chew. I'm open to opinions and helpful insights to start again, but this time in a more stable and responsible manner.

That is really unfortunate story man but at least you learn a valuable lesson on your experience so next time try to manage your finances and buy only those things that you really need not those you only want because you like to flex that you are financial capable than those other people since you already know how will you end up if you do similar situation once you get up and start to earn huge again on your online jobs you take. For now try to set aside or totally forget those friends which is not there when you are struggling but focus on those person who's there when you need help because they are the true person who has a concern on you.

Also lastly always stay positive in life since not every time we are full of blessing so let those hardship be a lesson for you to save some money on emergency situation so that you will not struggle in life financially if same case happen and you need to find another good job that can give you more better profits.

[rat03gopoh]

I have a psychological memory from my upbringing that money is earned and should be spent as long as you keep earning.

Yeah, and you can't be sure how long you'll be able to earn stably. And this is actually not a new problem, where when people start earning more they also increase their excessive lifestyle and relationship patterns. And some of the reasons are very silly, just wanting to get recognition in their social environment.

I remember the old message, "too much is not good even if it is a good thing".

[Altryist]

The main reason I'm sharing this topic is to get your own opinions and advice so that I can do better. I believe it's because of poor financial management that I've fallen to this level. I've been doing things that I now realize were not the right things to do because I don't have any financial stability. Last week, I felt ashamed when people see how frustrated i am because I had bitten off more than I could chew. I'm open to opinions and helpful insights to start again, but this time in a more stable and responsible manner.

I think that you all understand what led to this situation and what should be done to change it. What do you want to hear, what advice do you need?

First, learn to live within your means, and make sure to save at least 10% of your income, or even better, 30%. Secondly, when you collect a more or less significant amount, think about making this money start working for you. There are many options for this, but try to figure it out for yourself, determine for yourself where you could invest this money to receive passive income, perhaps this amount should be divided and invested in different assets.

[slapper]

Your story makes it very clear that the uncontrolled happiness you felt when you first made money has come back to haunt you. Your cash plan needs to be completely redone. The way you handle your money (spending what you earn) is a time bomb waiting to go off. Think carefully about what you're doing. Thinking that your self-worth is closely linked to how much you spend and the short-term praise from so-called friends is not a real problem

Now this is a real plan. First, understand how the current economy works. Saving is just as important as earning. Budgeting and smart allocating of funds should be encouraged. Get rid of the idea that short-term ties and club nights are what make you successful. This is a lesson in being strong and managing your resources. Being financially stable doesn't just mean making money; it means making money wisely and saving a lot

[AprilioMP]

You succeeded in bringing me into your story. What's interesting about your story is about how you should make friends and manage your finances well. The phrase and advice that we often get from loved ones is that friends can make you rich and friends can make you suffer.
Money is like magic that can bewitch situations in an instant.
When we have a lot of money which makes it easier for us to have the needs we want, our friends can increase from just a few people.

Here, I want to convey that you have had an extraordinary experience. Hopefully this experience can make you a greater person with the skills you have.
Not all friends you consider friends are really friends. There is only one in ten friends who is a true friend.

Test them one by one and you have done well with them.
Start with new habits and don't give them anger for what they have done for you. On the other hand, you also don't need to feel sad about what you have given them.
Say thank you to those you once considered friends.

There are friends who are allowed to be brought to the fence of the house. There are friends who are only allowed to enter the house. There are friends who can exchange things with each other.
Hopefully you understand what I mean.

[Yamane_Keto]

We cannot give you golden advice, as we may be in different countries, with different income levels, and a different definition of wealth, but in all countries of the world, unless your income is higher than your expenses, you will continue to suffer financially. Reduce your spending to a reasonable amount, leave yourself two days a month for luxuries, buy luxury clothes every 6 months, and calculate your income. If it is equal to your expenses, then look for an additional source of income to invest in. else, then you must change your job or at least reduce your spending.
Your health condition is fine now, but as you get older, you need more money and you may need to start a family, and therefore you should not think about friendships, especially those friends who love you because you have money.

[johnsaributua]

Your condition may be in the context of being intentional, on the basis of your hobby of buying and because of the relationship of friends you do not hesitate to give it, in my opinion it is normal but the option should have a good commitment to yourself or even give loans to friends especially about finances when conditions are good at all, I realize that being self-employed is making money depending on the client who needs our services and every day it will be different income earned especially unexpected conditions like what you experienced can happen at any time for termination of cooperation for any reason sir, if you are still pursuing similar services it could be that the client moves elsewhere, imagine if in the future you experience the same thing, of course you will be wiser to manage money from yesterday, right?.

I am sorry for what you are going through, but now is the time for you to rise up, so that the lost clients can come again from new clients and you can continue your work with a recovered turnover, experience is something valuable and it is medicine to do something to see what the consequences and benefits are before acting.

You may still feel like it's unfair, but believe it or not many people with basic economic skills have just gotten to where you are today, you have valuable skills and experience, start again, renew again and grow again.

There are still many hopes that can be achieved and can run with your current mindset, do not hesitate to reference from other people if you think it's a good idea.