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November 11, 2023, 10:45:46 AM |
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I am pleased to announce that I am starting a new company called SpaceSex. For the low cost of $50, you can send a caltrop into space. This caltrop will be designed to shred existing satellites in low Earth orbit and prevent new satellites from entering orbit. Furthermore, this caltrop will also be designed to turn the existing satellites into shrapnel that will be used to shred other satellites. With SpaceSex, we will render low Earth orbit uninhabitable so that we will never again have satellites in orbit. SpaceSex will also send shredder robots that will take the rocket that sends the caltrops up into space and shred that rocket up so that the rocket turns into shrapnel that shreds satellites.
-Joseph Van Name Ph.D.
Disclaimer: These caltrops will not be effective against nuclear ICBMs since ICBMs only stay in space for about 30 minutes. WWIII will still come. You are still in danger.
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