Coping with expectations

[topbitcoin]

Expectation from people could be the driving force that keeps us going or the reason why some of us gets depressed because of our inability to meeting those expectations.

Because some children did well while growing up in there preliminary classes, people always expect you to come out of the university with destinction and when you're unable to do so, it could get you depressed because it appears most time as though you've failed big time in life and that no one will even understand you at all. I'm at a cross road where my parent and siblings believe so much in me, academically, because I did well in high school but the reality is that I wasn't my best in the university and no one wants to imagine that its a possibility.

How then do I mange the expectation of people on me such that i don't get into depression when I'm  unable to meet up with it.?

It's almost like everyone knows you're going to succeed but don't even care about what you're passing through while you're striving to make them proud.

As children, of course we also don't want to disappoint our own parents and other family members. We always try to give the best, which we can do, so that we become a child that both parents can hope for and be proud of. However, along the way, it is certain that there will always be obstacles and difficulties that we have to face, which could make us fail to realize what they hope for us. So they feel disappointed with us and think that we are a child whose parents and family cannot hope for. Their inability to accept and appreciate the results of a process that we have carried out, this causes pressure after pressure that they continue to put on us, which makes us a little depressed.

  And that doesn't mean that I want to teach you to disobey your parents, but after all, we as ordinary humans are only capable of planning and trying, while what determines it is fate itself. and we are not gods who can grant every wish of their servants, we are just ordinary humans who can make mistakes and fail. And they, both families and parents, must be aware of this. So we have to give our parents an understanding of the efforts we are making. And if you have to say that you can't be the person they want and hope for, then say so. because after all, we personally also have goals and hopes that we can achieve and realize, we want to become someone who is successful in a field that we really like without having to have any element of compulsion from family or parents.

[Ryu_Ar1]

How then do I mange the expectation of people on me such that i don't get into depression when I'm  unable to meet up with it.?

It's almost like everyone knows you're going to succeed but don't even care about what you're passing through while you're striving to make them proud.

Making expectations as a target that we must aim for is still a good enough thing to do but in the end in this case we also have to be someone who is realistic so that the expectations we expect do not end in regret and failure.
The situation that happens now is that most people set their expectations too high so that they cannot be achieved which makes them give up halfway.

Expectations can ultimately be a good morale booster but sometimes it actually brings down the mentality that we have so in this case it is important for us to try to be realistic in thinking about expectations so that they are not too high because after all this is quite an important thing in my opinion.
We do have to have sky-high dreams so that we continue to be motivated by what we want to achieve but for the problem of expectations we must be able to distinguish this because after all expectations can be a double-edged sword for ourselves.

[Fortify]

Expectation from people could be the driving force that keeps us going or the reason why some of us gets depressed because of our inability to meeting those expectations.

Because some children did well while growing up in there preliminary classes, people always expect you to come out of the university with destinction and when you're unable to do so, it could get you depressed because it appears most time as though you've failed big time in life and that no one will even understand you at all. I'm at a cross road where my parent and siblings believe so much in me, academically, because I did well in high school but the reality is that I wasn't my best in the university and no one wants to imagine that its a possibility.

How then do I mange the expectation of people on me such that i don't get into depression when I'm  unable to meet up with it.?

It's almost like everyone knows you're going to succeed but don't even care about what you're passing through while you're striving to make them proud.

It seems like a paradox to me, the word "distinction" conjures up definitions of excellence and truly standing out from the crowd - how can everyone, or even a large portion, be standing out from the crowd? They would just become the average in that context. It should be expected that in general most will get average grades, because you don't need to learn beyond the basics or even show that you can apply them, to be worthy of a reasonable university grade. Any other method of looking at it would suggest that uni grades are manipulated or rigged in a way that makes them less worthwhile as qualifications. It's probably related to the large cost that it now takes to attend university in many countries, so people hope they are buying their way towards the top grades and have built up a false picture in that regard.

[arimamib]

How then do I mange the expectation of people on me such that i don't get into depression when I'm  unable to meet up with it.?

It's almost like everyone knows you're going to succeed but don't even care about what you're passing through while you're striving to make them proud.

Making expectations as a target that we must aim for is still a good enough thing to do but in the end in this case we also have to be someone who is realistic so that the expectations we expect do not end in regret and failure.
The situation that happens now is that most people set their expectations too high so that they cannot be achieved which makes them give up halfway.

Expectations can ultimately be a good morale booster but sometimes it actually brings down the mentality that we have so in this case it is important for us to try to be realistic in thinking about expectations so that they are not too high because after all this is quite an important thing in my opinion.
We do have to have sky-high dreams so that we continue to be motivated by what we want to achieve but for the problem of expectations we must be able to distinguish this because after all expectations can be a double-edged sword for ourselves.

That is the delicate balance between setting expectations and being realistic in our aspirations. While having expectations can provide motivation and direction, Those need to be tempered with a dose of realism to avoid disappointment and frustration. Indeed, setting expectations too high can lead to feelings of inadequacy or failure when they are not met. People need to strike a balance between ambition and pragmatism that ensures our goals are challenging yet attainable given our resources, abilities, and circumstances.

At the same time, it's important not to let the fear of failure or setbacks deter us from dreaming big and pursuing our aspirations. While being realistic about our expectations can help us avoid unnecessary disappointment, we should still strive to push our boundaries and reach for the stars. Navigating the terrain of expectations requires introspection, self-awareness, and a willingness to adjust our goals as needed. By setting realistic expectations, we can maintain a healthy perspective and increase our chances of success while also allowing room for growth and development along the way. Finding the right balance between ambition and realism is a personal journey which is shaped by our experiences, values, and aspirations.

[Assface16678]

How then do I mange the expectation of people on me such that i don't get into depression when I'm  unable to meet up with it.?.

Simple: don't meet their expectations. Are you a people-pleaser? A people-pleaser will do anything that other people expect you to do, or you will make decisions or movements based on what other people expect from you; if not, then why bother about the expectations of other people? In this current world, you should become independent, meaning you should mind your own business and ignore what other people will say about you. Don't let what they say about you go through you, because if yes, then it will only limit you to what other people expect from you. What I mean is, if you want to become an artist but other people or your parents expect you to become a doctor, will you follow them? If yes, then you are limiting yourself to what other people want you to be; you are exchanging what you want for what other people expect from you. Don't please anyone because you will be the only one affected.

[Maslate]

You will only make yourself more upset if you keep dealing with other people’s expectations rather than focus on yourself and value on what you can give and what you can’t. Those expectations might create more motivation for you but in reality, they will just create pressures on you. And you don’t need pressures but family love and support to whatever you’re capable to achieve. Just be honest with your family. The reality won’t hurt them if they will know it earlier rather than pretending you’re okay but you’re not.

[ThePromise]

How then do I mange the expectation of people on me such that i don't get into depression when I'm  unable to meet up with it.?

It's almost like everyone knows you're going to succeed but don't even care about what you're passing through while you're striving to make them proud.

One thing that you must do is just don't mind them, I know that's easy for me to say this but believe me, I've been in that situation and it really kills me whenever I think that I didn't accomplish yet all the things that people expect me to do. I overcome that situation when I started to set aside all the negative comments and pressure because I want to do things on my own timeline, not just because of others expectation. The more you pressure yourself, The more you didn't accomplish everything that you want to have.

[Ryu_Ar1]

Making expectations as a target that we must aim for is still a good enough thing to do but in the end in this case we also have to be someone who is realistic so that the expectations we expect do not end in regret and failure.
The situation that happens now is that most people set their expectations too high so that they cannot be achieved which makes them give up halfway.

Expectations can ultimately be a good morale booster but sometimes it actually brings down the mentality that we have so in this case it is important for us to try to be realistic in thinking about expectations so that they are not too high because after all this is quite an important thing in my opinion.
We do have to have sky-high dreams so that we continue to be motivated by what we want to achieve but for the problem of expectations we must be able to distinguish this because after all expectations can be a double-edged sword for ourselves.

That is the delicate balance between setting expectations and being realistic in our aspirations. While having expectations can provide motivation and direction, Those need to be tempered with a dose of realism to avoid disappointment and frustration. Indeed, setting expectations too high can lead to feelings of inadequacy or failure when they are not met. People need to strike a balance between ambition and pragmatism that ensures our goals are challenging yet attainable given our resources, abilities, and circumstances.

At the same time, it's important not to let the fear of failure or setbacks deter us from dreaming big and pursuing our aspirations. While being realistic about our expectations can help us avoid unnecessary disappointment, we should still strive to push our boundaries and reach for the stars. Navigating the terrain of expectations requires introspection, self-awareness, and a willingness to adjust our goals as needed. By setting realistic expectations, we can maintain a healthy perspective and increase our chances of success while also allowing room for growth and development along the way. Finding the right balance between ambition and realism is a personal journey which is shaped by our experiences, values, and aspirations.

Therefore, when we have expectations, it must be accompanied by the reality that we have because in the end, if our expectations are too high, it could backfire and make you mentally down because it cannot be realized properly. So that something like that does not happen, it would be more appropriate if we are not too grandiose in giving expectations. Expectations are indeed a good thing if you reflect on the positive side and I agree that this will add to your motivation but we also have to compare our realization with our quality so as not to let the expectations you have kill your own character who wants to build a good life.

Fear sometimes does always exist but this is one of the stumbling blocks because after all when we do something there is always a process that must be followed and the risks that we must get so that when we try to make a better situation for our lives then we must be sure of what plans we want to build so that there is no alertness when we go through what we are doing.

[jrrsparkles]

Well, you have to express the reality to your closed ones and be transparent with your academic activities than can relieve pressure a bit but this is something that everyone has to go through in their early 20's and how you react to it maybe the deciding factor of how your remaining life is gonna be.

[Ndabagi01]

How then do I mange the expectation of people on me such that i don't get into depression when I'm  unable to meet up with it.?

It's almost like everyone knows you're going to succeed but don't even care about what you're passing through while you're striving to make them proud.

Hey, Buddy. It's normal, and not only have you experienced it, but I've also gone through it before. If you are overly concerned with how others perceive your academic performance at school, you will lose focus and may perform worse than you expected. The reality is that in universities, you will meet many people whose level of knowledge is incomparable to yours, and this is simply their natural gift that you cannot compete with.

When you meet people like that, make friends with them to make yourself better in school and try to pass in the university. When you start to see it as a big competition, you'll lose the most important thing you need from them. Brainstorming is the best thing to do in this situation if you want to succeed like them and ignore what others at home think of you as long as you pass your exams and advance to the next level.

[Cryptoprincess101]

Expectation from people could be the driving force that keeps us going or the reason why some of us gets depressed because of our inability to meeting those expectations.

That's really the mentality of we humans as we always expect things to always go the way it used to be without having that knowledge that change is inevitable in life because as people grows and have more exposure that's how our way of reasoning changes and sometimes the reason why some persons get depressed if they couldn't meet up a standard that they were before is as a result of people trying to let them know about their past life and activities but it is your duty either to listen to them or just live your life the way you can without caring too much on how anyone feels about you whether you are moving forward or not is none of anyone's business.

[johnsaributua]

About the process that you are going through but already imagined with such high results it is annoying, because a person is forced to get results that may be above the ability, if you have tried and done your best I think the final result speaks of time, sincerity and what you have done during the faculty. I think if you look at it from this point of view, it will be a burden for you, and will certainly affect your identity and will even be a worse decline. You can start from today enjoy and master the material from the smallest thing, for me learning is better to repeat than memorize from today, or you can be more intense when going to the end of learning maybe a few months for maturation.

Trust your own pace and find out how your brain and feelings work because every day has free time in it, if you have the easiest way for me the results will be better than you mourning yourself every day, hopefully you can get through and make peace with yourself, spirit.

[Sexylizzy2813]

You will only make yourself more upset if you keep dealing with other people’s expectations rather than focus on yourself and value on what you can give and what you can’t. Those expectations might create more motivation for you but in reality, they will just create pressures on you. And you don’t need pressures but family love and support to whatever you’re capable to achieve. Just be honest with your family. The reality won’t hurt them if they will know it earlier rather than pretending you’re okay but you’re not.

Sometimes it doesn't really work that way by having that focus on yourself but the way they treat you makes it look like you have nothing to offer, they even make you feel so small. Even when you're doing the things you know how to do best it seems like you're going about it the wrong way and ones your mind is divided I don't think you can concentrate on things around you.
Pressure is one crazy thing that families love to give to their children especially the male child (1st born to be precise), when you have that responsibility of taking care of things in the family and you're taking your time to do your thing, the next thing you'll see how they see your efforts as trash, 88% of the family members don't care how their children manage all they want is be at the higher level as your mates and they hardly listen, so sharing your problems with some family members is a waste of time.

[Zanab247]

You will only make yourself more upset if you keep dealing with other people’s expectations rather than focus on yourself and value on what you can give and what you can’t. Those expectations might create more motivation for you but in reality, they will just create pressures on you. And you don’t need pressures but family love and support to whatever you’re capable to achieve. Just be honest with your family. The reality won’t hurt them if they will know it earlier rather than pretending you’re okay but you’re not.

Focusing on other people expectations will make you miss your own expectations because, you will begin to look at your expectations like something that will not bring changes to you and your family which is a negative thoughts you had and it can bring anyone down in the future.

 The most important thing is to make your family to be aware of your correct situation so that they will not be thinking you are who you are in the secondary school because, a lot of things used to happen in the university which it will be difficult for you to explain to your parents for them to believe your poor performance.

[Bushdark]

Expectation from people could be the driving force that keeps us going or the reason why some of us gets depressed because of our inability to meeting those expectations.

Because some children did well while growing up in there preliminary classes, people always expect you to come out of the university with destinction and when you're unable to do so, it could get you depressed because it appears most time as though you've failed big time in life and that no one will even understand you at all. I'm at a cross road where my parent and siblings believe so much in me, academically, because I did well in high school but the reality is that I wasn't my best in the university and no one wants to imagine that its a possibility.

How then do I mange the expectation of people on me such that i don't get into depression when I'm  unable to meet up with it.?

It's almost like everyone knows you're going to succeed but don't even care about what you're passing through while you're striving to make them proud.

Managing higher expectations from people around us need careful intellectual principles on how to deal with them.
Sometime we don't always get what we planned to get or reach where we planned to reach but all, it depends on our focus because of we don't get it now, that would not make us feel depressed and try too hard to satisfy their curiosity. Since we don't determine the outcome of tomorrow we should always adhere to the current status we are now without faking it to please people and make them compare us to others. Very wrong!

[bitterguy28]

Honestly you have no control over other people’s thoughts and expectations. what i suggest is for you to instead work on your own mindset. You have to live your life in a way where you dont feel the need to have others’ approval or validation. You have to start with yourself and accept everything that comes with it.
it might be hard to do but i know it is a step worth taking. you cannot live your life to the fullest if you are always looking back at the people behind you trying to check whether you are going in the right direction. you will be much happier if you did things based on how you like it.

[Zoomic]

Expectation from people could be the driving force that keeps us going or the reason why some of us gets depressed because of our inability to meeting those expectations.

Because some children did well while growing up in there preliminary classes, people always expect you to come out of the university with destinction and when you're unable to do so, it could get you depressed because it appears most time as though you've failed big time in life and that no one will even understand you at all. I'm at a cross road where my parent and siblings believe so much in me, academically, because I did well in high school but the reality is that I wasn't my best in the university and no one wants to imagine that its a possibility.

How then do I mange the expectation of people on me such that i don't get into depression when I'm  unable to meet up with it.?

It's almost like everyone knows you're going to succeed but don't even care about what you're passing through while you're striving to make them proud.

I once allowed the society's expectations from me bother me so much that I Began to displease myself just to be on their good books. Then it occurred to me that I was not helping myself.
I took up a particular course because people felt that was what was best for me
I studied so hard because failure was seen as a taboo
I graduated and people still expected me to get a job immediately and start taking care of the home,  and the few days i had to struggle to earn some money, people felt i was not trying enough. Most times, this pressure drove me crazy that I began to feel like I was  not up to the task.

But right now I am free and happy because i have refused to be pressured by the society's expectations from me. Everyone out there too who is facing such pressure should refuse same too. Allowing the society control your life can be really disastrous as it will be difficult for you to handle real life's situations without validation from people. Be you always.

[OgNasty]

They say that expectation is the seed of disappointment. That’s why you really shouldn’t expect anything from anyone. You’ll be better off if you always prepare for the worst so you can handle anything. Like the old saying goes… The bird on a branch doesn’t trust the tree branch won’t break, it trusts that it’s wings will keep it from hitting the ground.

[Claudeake]

Several years ago, a Political Theorist named Ted Gurr propounded a theory on causes of violent conflicts in the human society as; Expectations - Deprivation - Frustration - Aggression Thesis. This theory explains how failure on expectations lead to violent conflicts.
But the issue being raised here is quiet different, it's the expector and not the expectee that is worried over the disappointment. There is a solution to this situation as;
In a simple logic, the expector must keep the expectee informed in all the stages of development of the said phenomenon. At this moment, the expectee would understand better and also would encourage the expectee never to be disturbed. 

[Sexylizzy2813]

They say that expectation is the seed of disappointment. That’s why you really shouldn’t expect anything from anyone. You’ll be better off if you always prepare for the worst so you can handle anything. Like the old saying goes… The bird on a branch doesn’t trust the tree branch won’t break, it trusts that it’s wings will keep it from hitting the ground.

Not everybody see it that way, getting that results the way they want it is what they care about the most, your feelings the stress you pass through is like your doing things fine to them and you have no right to be depressed.
And I feel we have less people who can over look such act and less of those who can develop thick skin, some expectations can help a person positively but it all depends on how they go about it.
Imagine a person who's managing a business and he's thinking that things would be fine in no time and he's doing poorly, there's a way the next person would say "my expectation for you is to never give up like a some people, continue having that hope that the good times are coming" with that been said I believe it wouldn't kill that person's mindset rather it will boost it, that's how it should be.