Coping with expectations

[Hewlet]

Expectation from people could be the driving force that keeps us going or the reason why some of us gets depressed because of our inability to meeting those expectations.

Because some children did well while growing up in there preliminary classes, people always expect you to come out of the university with destinction and when you're unable to do so, it could get you depressed because it appears most time as though you've failed big time in life and that no one will even understand you at all. I'm at a cross road where my parent and siblings believe so much in me, academically, because I did well in high school but the reality is that I wasn't my best in the university and no one wants to imagine that its a possibility.

How then do I mange the expectation of people on me such that i don't get into depression when I'm  unable to meet up with it.?

It's almost like everyone knows you're going to succeed but don't even care about what you're passing through while you're striving to make them proud.

[Churchillvv]

Firstly, do you want to make them proud or you want to make yourself proud?

I'm on same condition with you but my concern isn't what people will say about me and that I started by letting my family know my goals that it's not really to be the best in class or grade but to be the best in life by doing what I know how to do best. focusing on what I want not what anyone else wants from me.

But on my own there is nothing really too hard to achieve you can still get the good grades which is expected of you if only you put in more percentage of focus on it. but remember not to impress others and get yourself depressed its simple get the goal at the end, it's all about success so you must succeed in life generally.

[uneng]

Why aren't you having a good time at the university? Are you attending to a course you genuinely chose by yourself, or are you coursing an area just to please your family? What are your genuine dreams and expectations on life?

These are questions you have to ask yourself and share your conclusions with your family. I believe human beings seek for self-realization. However, many of us give up or neglect persuing this path to make people around us self-realized, as we were just an extension of them, and not independant individuals with personal aspirations, dreams and goals.

I'm sure that if your self-realization isn't on this course you are attending to, it must be in another field of work, or even outside university. You just have to seek for it. It's normal youngs feel a bit confused about what path to choose once they finish high school. So, no hurry. Give yourself time to think over it and if your family loves you and cares for your welfare they will understand the phase you are passing through.

[Natsuu]

Try to talk to your family about how you're feeling. Let them know the real deal about your university experience and that it's been tougher than they might think. Share that you're working on it but you need their support rather than extra pressure. Together, set some goals that make sense for you. Don't forget to take care of yourself and remember success isn't just about grades. I know that its easier said than done but remember that youre not alone in this

[Rruchi man]

How then do I mange the expectation of people on me such that i don't get into depression when I'm  unable to meet up with it.?

Sometimes I've noticed that these expectations that we think people expect us to meet are just mental, they are created in your brain and those you really think expect this much from you will accept you any way you are even if you decide to drop out from the university. Why will they accept you? it is because they remain your family. Some family members and friends may act disappointed when you do not meet up to their expectations, but it should not be your problem.

What you should focus on as a person is meeting up with the expectations you have set for yourself, not the expectations of others.

[Spaceman1000$]

Expectation from people could be the driving force that keeps us going or the reason why some of us gets depressed because of our inability to meeting those expectations.

Because some children did well while growing up in there preliminary classes, people always expect you to come out of the university with destinction and when you're unable to do so, it could get you depressed because it appears most time as though you've failed big time in life and that no one will even understand you at all. I'm at a cross road where my parent and siblings believe so much in me, academically, because I did well in high school but the reality is that I wasn't my best in the university and no one wants to imagine that its a possibility.

How then do I mange the expectation of people on me such that i don't get into depression when I'm  unable to meet up with it.?

It's almost like everyone knows you're going to succeed but don't even care about what you're passing through while you're striving to make them proud.

Yes I need you to understand that you need to learn how not to let people expectations get into your head, you don't need to live your life to impress anybody, you need to live your life to suit your own self expectations, More like caring less for what people will say and care more for what you want. There comes a time in a man's life where your expectations and those things you want for yourself makes you to live and shape your life at a certain way so as to be able to achieve your personal goals.

Most times I feel nobody actually thinks about you or have expectations from you,  it's just your own self thought or rational thinking that is making you think about what people are thinking about you. In doing so, you begin to live your life on people's expectation and that is not good for your mental health.

[bussybuddy]

How then do I mange the expectation of people on me such that i don't get into depression when I'm  unable to meet up with it.?

I just want to tell you the truth that if you live without being satisfied with yourself and only rely on satisfaction from others, that life is no different from imprisonment. But views in family and society can impose on your thinking, making you feel stuck because you can't complete it, so simplify it by expressing your view on life, share more with everyone that you should accept the fact that you always try and your previous expectations are just "not yet" and not "impossible".

And one thing that I really feel is, you are not alone, there are many people facing the same problem as you. Be persistent, confident and don't be shy.

[nara1892]

Try to talk to your family about how you're feeling. Let them know the real deal about your university experience and that it's been tougher than they might think. Share that you're working on it but you need their support rather than extra pressure. Together, set some goals that make sense for you. Don't forget to take care of yourself and remember success isn't just about grades. I know that its easier said than done but remember that youre not alone in this

Yes, one solution so that you don't always experience pressure from situations like that is that you have to explain to your family about everything you feel now because I understand that there is pressure that you feel from situations like this, I understand that it doesn't mean it's impossible for anyone, including you can be the best at university but maybe it takes time, I'm sure you can but maybe you need a lot of support from the people closest to you to help increase your enthusiasm in the process to prove to them that you really can be the best which is in line with what the family expected. I think not a few people are also in a situation like this and I see that for problems like this you just have to explain to your family that you need full support to increase your morale, you don't need to promise anything to your family but you just need to say that you I will try my best, I think your family will definitely understand.

[Strongkored]

When you live to fulfill other people's expectations then that is the source of the problem because you will never be able to fulfill them and even if you can fulfill them then you will not be able to enjoy life or live life the way you want.
Today you may be able to fulfill the expectations of those closest to you but tomorrow, next week, next month or next year you may disappoint them so you should live your life according to your expectations not the expectations of others and live a life full of responsibility so that when you are in university you are not as good as when you were in school not because you are irresponsible but because you have difficulties, it could be because your studies are not in accordance with your abilities, and someday those closest to you can understand and accept you as you are today.

[Antotena]

Expectation from people could be the driving force that keeps us going or the reason why some of us gets depressed because of our inability to meeting those expectations.

Because some children did well while growing up in there preliminary classes, people always expect you to come out of the university with destinction and when you're unable to do so, it could get you depressed because it appears most time as though you've failed big time in life and that no one will even understand you at all. I'm at a cross road where my parent and siblings believe so much in me, academically, because I did well in high school but the reality is that I wasn't my best in the university and no one wants to imagine that its a possibility.

How then do I mange the expectation of people on me such that i don't get into depression when I'm  unable to meet up with it.?

It's almost like everyone knows you're going to succeed but don't even care about what you're passing through while you're striving to make them proud.

Just because you believe something is going to happen is not guarantee that it must, even life is not a guarantee, you can be alive today and the next day you gone, that's the sad reality of life. Nothing in life is guaranteed and should never lead you to depression, some people can't just make it in life no matter what.

My life has been parallel in movements with other people and I have accepted that in this life, we can deam but not all or if not all will come to true if you are not born with a silver spoon. People who has there dream comes true are people that has generational wealth, people that their grandparents and parents has done all the struggles of life and has money somewhere for them, these are the people that always has high expectations and do work in their favour.

Average and poor people are just strugglers that fight every day about life, the ones you see succeeded are either lucky with grace but checked them, many of them don't make it through the educational sector, they made it either entertainment, politics and business. Life after university is always tough for many people.

[cabron]

It must be terrible pressure since they expect you to be someone up there climbing the corporate ladder.  But may I ask why you didn't do well in college?
Because if I were you and had the brains to make it, I would have taken a law degree but let me guess you fell in love in college and enjoyed it so much or the degree you pursued wasn't your decision at all but your parents?

I think it's the same pressure in me since my parents have known me to be stupid since grade school, but now I have to keep proving they didn't raise a fool.  

[Sexylizzy2813]

Expectation from people could be the driving force that keeps us going or the reason why some of us gets depressed because of our inability to meeting those expectations.

Because some children did well while growing up in there preliminary classes, people always expect you to come out of the university with destinction and when you're unable to do so, it could get you depressed because it appears most time as though you've failed big time in life and that no one will even understand you at all. I'm at a cross road where my parent and siblings believe so much in me, academically, because I did well in high school but the reality is that I wasn't my best in the university and no one wants to imagine that its a possibility.

How then do I mange the expectation of people on me such that i don't get into depression when I'm  unable to meet up with it.?

It's almost like everyone knows you're going to succeed but don't even care about what you're passing through while you're striving to make them proud.

The thing is that parents in general don't care how their children feel, all they want from their children is go and get me your best, is not bad but the way they go about it is wrong, too much of expectations causes depression and one can lose focus on what he or she is doing.
Not that some children don't know what to do but checking on them to know what they want and all that can let them lose concentrate and another thing or mistake parents make is comparing their children with other people's children when they're not doing well in school or maybe in business too, with that happening it kills their morela. With how some parents are expecting their children to do better like their mates it makes them to look useless in the society, is just bad.

[mindrust]

True that. A person should have realistic expectations from life. It is called "knowing yourself". If you know your limits, what you can do and what you cannot, then you will have a happy life because you will be pursuing the goals which you can accomplish. Would you try to be the president of the United States for example? Only a mad man would try that. (Unless his name is Donald Trump or Elon Musk.) But most people can become dentists, engineers, doctors, accountants etc... These are pretty realistic goals for most people. In a way, this is like seeing the future.You dream of it, you work for it and it becomes reality.

[Cryptomultiplier]

It's almost as if parents these days marry just to have children that would be a financial savior for them in the long run. So when the kids given birth to and invested a lot or so little in, fail to be of value and earn from whatever education or investment they have made in them, they simply just get disappointed and don't even care to think for a second if the said child is happy or perhaps the child could do better in another area.

The child having failed to meet such expectations with the investment or because they are supposed to as children of a family become devastated or depressed. That's how it feels to not to meet up with expectations of others mostly when they are family or close friends and associates.

Sincerely I think anyone who puts him or herself in such a scenario of living because of others acceptance are simply just ignorant and it's a disease of much consequences that will lead to much regret in old age or on ones dying bed.

[AbuBhakar]

How then do I mange the expectation of people on me such that i don't get into depression when I'm  unable to meet up with it.?

It's almost like everyone knows you're going to succeed but don't even care about what you're passing through while you're striving to make them proud.

You shouldn’t live base on expectations of other people because you will just feel pressured on your life choices most importantly when you experience failure which you will not bothered if you are free to do whatever you want.

You should remember that the majority of top rich people doesn’t do well on university but they manage to climb the wealth due to their passion. Sometimes people are not good on study because their skills is for actual work. You should find your passion and don’t live on someone expectation.

You should watch this Steve Jobs speech to Stanford because it tackles specifically to your situation. I hope it helped you to boost your confidence.

[Yatsan]

How then do I mange the expectation of people on me such that i don't get into depression when I'm  unable to meet up with it.?

It's almost like everyone knows you're going to succeed but don't even care about what you're passing through while you're striving to make them proud.

Well, it is easy to say to not mind what others are saying or what you feel of your percieved expectations from them but in reality, it is just hard to apply to oneself. It is a combination of self and social awareness which will always be a part of our daily experiences. However you ciuld manage how you would react on those expectancies you view from them. Indeed it could be either positive or negative; to some people it inspires them to prove other people wrong which helps them to strive for the better. But to some people it drags them due to pressure.

What I mean with controlling how you would react in those situations is to try maintaining your composure. We cannot control how others will think and view of us. Focus on what you are doing and follow your plans. Consistencywill always put you to success and that only means keeping your eye on your way despite of distractions.

[electronicash]

all you need to do is tell the truth. coz the truth will set you FREE.  
it's not easy of course but that's just how it is and sometimes you need to convince them, that it's not as easy as it was back then when the economy was way better than now. during their time, less distraction, and people could think clearly without worries. in our time, what matters is that you can live independently. some are even earning online being influencers reading just the newspaper for their audience as a career.  

by the way, let them hold a pint of ice cream when you tell them these. ice cream makes things better.

[tyz]

Expectation from people could be the driving force that keeps us going or the reason why some of us gets depressed because of our inability to meeting those expectations.

In this context, I have to think of two quotes from the movie "Fightclub" that go perfectly with your post.

"We use the money we don't have to buy things we don't need to impress people we don't like."

and

"We are consumers. We are waste products of general lifestyle obsessions!"

Only when you can cut yourself off from the expectations of others are you truly free. Until then, you're just a hamster in an endless hamster wheel.

[Juse14]

To hell with them, in fact life is not as easy as they imagine. It is true that both family and parents want to see us become successful, happy and accomplished people. However, if the expectations they give are too high, this can cause great pressure which can have bad consequences for ourselves. Because we are just ordinary people who are not free from mistakes and are far from perfection. However, they always compare ourselves with other people's success, even though every child develops at a different pace and everyone has their own preferences and desires. However, because their expectations are too high, sometimes they often impose their own will on their children, so that the person's journey does not go according to their wishes, even though every child definitely has interests and talents in certain fields. A child needs space for diaspora so that he can improve his abilities and skills in the field he likes, so that later he will become someone who is successful in the field he is working in.

To overcome this problem, communication is the main key in resolving it, and in creating a healthy family relationship. Therefore, invite our parents and family to talk about our hopes, goals and the process we are doing, say what we are feeling and convey that we also have goals and want to become someone successful in the field we want. .

[bbigtart]

Expectation from people could be the driving force that keeps us going or the reason why some of us gets depressed because of our inability to meeting those expectations.

Because some children did well while growing up in there preliminary classes, people always expect you to come out of the university with destinction and when you're unable to do so, it could get you depressed because it appears most time as though you've failed big time in life and that no one will even understand you at all. I'm at a cross road where my parent and siblings believe so much in me, academically, because I did well in high school but the reality is that I wasn't my best in the university and no one wants to imagine that its a possibility.

How then do I mange the expectation of people on me such that i don't get into depression when I'm  unable to meet up with it.?

It's almost like everyone knows you're going to succeed but don't even care about what you're passing through while you're striving to make them proud.

The first thing you have to do is communicate with yourself, which is very necessary, something that is not the same as expectations, not because Allah wants to weaken you, but Allah wants you to be stronger. Maybe this is the first

For me, it's a way to control expectations so you don't get depressed.
1. Make expectations based on reality
2. Must be willing to compromise
3. Reduce your level of expectations
4. Discuss the expectations you have with other people

Conclusion: In life we cannot control all the variables of life, what we can control is how we respond to them.