Can you disguise on your real gambling lifestyle just to help a friend/relative?

[EluguHcman]

I beg a pardon if a thread like this has existed here.

I have been around my gambling friends and I have always acted to be 100% sticking to my gambling budgets such as how many times, a specific time and how much to spend on my gambling.
Once awhile I actually breaks that budget but though it does not affect my daily life and my bankrolls.
I literally claim this righteousness on my friends who are running out of their emotional control from gambling and psychologically I expects them to have me as an example whom they should emulate from in other to be recalled and take back control of their emotions while gambling.

Does any of you guys have any negative side of gambling habit in you which literally you advices anyone not to exhibit it?
Or can you afford to hide your real disreputable gambling life just to help an astray gambling friend or relative?

[Oshosondy]

Does any of you guys have any negative side of gambling habit in you which literally you advices anyone not to exhibit it?

When I was so addicted, I still tell my friends to be very careful and not waste money. But they know that I was losing money to gambling, especially the friends that are very close to me.

Or can you afford to hide your real disreputable gambling life just to help an astray gambling friend or relative?

I did not hide it but it would be good if you hide it and tell your friend to gamble responsibly. You also need to stop even as it is not affecting you financially. Set a gambling budget and make sure you do not spend more than it.

[Davidvictorson]

Does any of you guys have any negative side of gambling habit in you which literally you advices anyone not to exhibit it?
Or can you afford to hide your real disreputable gambling life just to help an astray gambling friend or relative?

It is totally normal to have times when you don't stick with your plan. We are humans and not some programmed robots. You should not feel bad about it. Tell your friends the reality of your struggles. We struggle with it too but it is the daily discipline and self control that sets us apart.

My own is that, sometimes I once a week or twice in a month, I bet more than more than I can afford to lose. On some days it favors me while on some weeks , the house wins.

[passwordnow]

Does any of you guys have any negative side of gambling habit in you which literally you advices anyone not to exhibit it?
Or can you afford to hide your real disreputable gambling life just to help an astray gambling friend or relative?

I don't have, I don't advice that I don't do and not happening on me. But if it's a situational talk, probably it's a good thing to advise to our friends that are in danger or bad situation that they're going that far with their gambling addiction. In my opinion, all of us have this side that we tend to be good talkers and advisers but then deep inside, we've got something that others don't know about us.
So, if you're that type of person that hides things towards other people about your gambling mentality. Is it a big deal? I don't think so, there's no need to be guilty about it and if you're just trying to help other people with your experiences and advises, it doesn't matter but if that person you're advicing starts to ask you if you're also a follower of your advice, then you have to be honest on them whether you or not.
Because there is this bias from other people that they only listen to people that are reputable and true to their words not just an all talk and cheap talk guy or gambler but does things on their own and can prove that they're following their advises to the other people.

[moneystery]

on average, gamblers are hypocritical people, because usually what they say is sometimes the opposite of what actually happens, because i have also been like that where i have gambled beyond my means but i advised my friends not to gamble excessively. but even so, sometimes there are words that we need to sweeten to be able to give advice to others, even though it seems like hypocrisy, but they are the most appropriate words at that time and we don't need to think too much about it because of that just ordinary advice.

[Casdinyard]

I beg a pardon if a thread like this has existed here.

I have been around my gambling friends and I have always acted to be 100% sticking to my gambling budgets such as how many times, a specific time and how much to spend on my gambling.
Once awhile I actually breaks that budget but though it does not affect my daily life and my bankrolls.
I literally claim this righteousness on my friends who are running out of their emotional control from gambling and psychologically I expects them to have me as an example whom they should emulate from in other to be recalled and take back control of their emotions while gambling.

Does any of you guys have any negative side of gambling habit in you which literally you advices anyone not to exhibit it?
Or can you afford to hide your real disreputable gambling life just to help an astray gambling friend or relative?

I mean, you could do whatever you link, bring out advices to people when you think they need them and all that shit, but you have to remember that the only person you're really fooling in this situation is yourself. You know for a fact that you go overboard and that you are in no way "a responsible gambler", and yet you go out there thinking you're the perfect example to your friends of how you should really gamble.

Nothing wrong about it if your friends end up switching their lifestyles and going for a healthier approach at gambling, but at the end of the day you better be ready for the consequences and the ensuing distrust and clowning once they find out you're not really who you're painting yourself to be. Perhaps a good change of approach is actively assist them in how to achieve a more responsible gambling attitude, so you don't end up looking like the fraud you are to these people and you're also learning how to be responsible as a gambler yourself. Hitting two birds with one stone so to speak.

If you need information and resources on how to do so this forum is a treasure trove of that. Just pick which ones work for your situation and you should be good to go.

[swogerino]

I beg a pardon if a thread like this has existed here.

I have been around my gambling friends and I have always acted to be 100% sticking to my gambling budgets such as how many times, a specific time and how much to spend on my gambling.
Once awhile I actually breaks that budget but though it does not affect my daily life and my bankrolls.
I literally claim this righteousness on my friends who are running out of their emotional control from gambling and psychologically I expects them to have me as an example whom they should emulate from in other to be recalled and take back control of their emotions while gambling.

Does any of you guys have any negative side of gambling habit in you which literally you advices anyone not to exhibit it?
Or can you afford to hide your real disreputable gambling life just to help an astray gambling friend or relative?

If that friend or family relative has gone to far I am glad to hide my real identity and to advice them to stop,in fact it has been long enough I only gamble online and except my wife no one knows I gamble,so in the eyes of the world I am a clean regular guy who happen to go to do his job and go to church on Sundays.I would think that when someone really goes ashtray in such a way because of gambling and it looks like they are having difficulties coming back I would definitely love to help them and bring them real advice from my experience without telling them that I gamble but telling them that I worked in a casino before,in fact many years ago I worked in a small lotto club that had some slots and there I learned gambling,so as I said I am definitely pro helping.

[Dr.Bitcoin_Strange]

Or can you afford to hide your real disreputable gambling life just to help an astray gambling friend or relative?

There's this principle I learned from my parents; they used to tell me that if someone is winning in any form of competition, it's not right to praise or announce your success when your friends are not part of the success. For example, if Mr. P places a bet with his friends and his friends end up losing their bets while Mr. P's is successful, it's not wise for Mr. P to start announcing his huge win in the presence of his friends, who are still feeling unhappy about their loss. 

I have been in a situation where my friend felt so bad for the amount of money they lost, but my own prediction was successful, and I won a little significant amount, so I felt bad for my friend's loss, and I could not share my own successful story with them because they would have felt so unhappy and perhaps disheartened toward my win. 

[Fiatless]

Does any of you guys have any negative side of gambling habit in you which literally you advices anyone not to exhibit it?
Or can you afford to hide your real disreputable gambling life just to help an astray gambling friend or relative?

Parents will always claim to be saints before their children because they don't want the children to exhibit any negative behavior they engage in. Mentors will also want to showcase themselves as superhumans because they want their mentees to always believe them. It is common to lie because it looks like the best way to advise or motivate somebody.

I try as much as possible not to lie to people because I want to look superior. I tell people about my struggle and show them the steps I am taking to overcome it. I can hide some negative behavior from a child but pretending before fellow gamblers that I am not having problems with my gambling budget, when it is a lie is self deception and I wouldn't consider it. You might even get help from others if you expose your own problems. One can help someone who has having gambling disorder without exhibiting a Superman personality.

[Accardo]

Such method works but requires lots of time to heal the addicts, because they won't notice your strategies immediately. Although it works, because, have been around addicted people, not gambling, I tend not to discuss or do those things relating to their addiction in their presence. Because, it could make them feel like I'm in same boat with them, such things I've noticed doesn't work rapidly fast. Sticking to this method shouldn't be the only approach towards helping this people. Having effective conversations with them while exhibiting this attitude is quite very helpful.

But you'll have to exercise patience while they adjust towards your own gambling lifestyle. The whole thing depends on the person's will power, how able he is to change his behavior. Other than that whatever we do on their behalf is to be a good example. When the addict thinks of us he could ask himself why be can't behave like his friend. The changes begins the moment be begin to seek for help, on how he could limit his gambling lifestyle and behave like you. It's a good thing, but make sure it doesn't affect you in the process, because as you said it's a disguise that means in their absence you gamble differently.

[robelneo]

Does any of you guys have any negative side of gambling habit in you which literally you advices anyone not to exhibit it?
Or can you afford to hide your real disreputable gambling life just to help an astray gambling friend or relative?

We are not a gambler if we do not experience negative traits, and we don't want to experience these negative traits, so it's just ok to share advice on these negative traits that your friends don't want to experience.

It's ok to be honest it's your friend and your friend or relative will be glad that you shared your experience so they will not get astray, sharing is caring especially for people you care for.

[iBaba]

Does any of you guys have any negative side of gambling habit in you which literally you advices anyone not to exhibit it?
Or can you afford to hide your real disreputable gambling life just to help an astray gambling friend or relative?

I think everyone addicted to gambling today has the level or degree of their gambling as well as their level of self-control which mostly works with the psychological stamina of the person together with the environmental effects. The degree at which someone gets more or less addicted to gambling and the level at which they are able to control it can be as a result of their psychological stamina and environmental factors. You probably have been able to stick more to your gambling schedules, budgets and plans because of your level of psychological stamina which could be stronger than your friends who cannot control themselves. Despite your control level, you still have periods where you don't meet up with your plans and go against your boundaries, this could be as a result of the environment you are. Now, if you can introspect about all of these two characteristics by exercising your mental stamina as well as changing your environment, you could be able to tackle the addiction almost completely if not all. This is the same approach you should take towards advising your friends and relatives who have gone astray in their gambling lifestyles.

[Alphakilo]

There's this principle I learned from my parents; they used to tell me that if someone is winning in any form of competition, it's not right to praise or announce your success when your friends are not part of the success. For example, if Mr. P places a bet with his friends and his friends end up losing their bets while Mr. P's is successful, it's not wise for Mr. P to start announcing his huge win in the presence of his friends, who are still feeling unhappy about their loss. 

Your parents principles are gold. That was them instilling in you moral uprightness from childhood. There are many different variants of this principle that you were taught. The lesson is empathy. If you put yourself in their shoes, you will not want to them to "celebrate" while you are feeling bad from your loss.

It's ok to be honest it's your friend and your friend or relative will be glad that you shared your experience so they will not get astray, sharing is caring especially for people you care for.

My respect for my friends will increase if they are honest and open with me instead of acting like the Messiah. So also should he do. Sharing these experiences helps because the more they are bottled in the more damage it does and it will grow worse.

[coin-investor]

Does any of you guys have any negative side of gambling habit in you which literally you advices anyone not to exhibit it?
Or can you afford to hide your real disreputable gambling life just to help an astray gambling friend or relative?

I used to gamble with money that I couldn't afford to lose I used to chase my losses and I used to take a loan just to gamble these are the traits that you don't want your friends or relatives to experience and you can effectively advise them if it's coming from your experience, so its better to be honest and transparent.

Why would you hold out when it's already in the past and since we experienced how it feels, it's just ok to share your experiences and your bad times in gambling so they will avoid these pitfalls.

[Orpichukwu]

Does any of you guys have any negative side of gambling habit in you which literally you advices anyone not to exhibit it?
Or can you afford to hide your real disreputable gambling life just to help an astray gambling friend or relative?

I don't have any bad gambling habits that I wouldn't want anyone to copy, and even if I do, the best reason I'm fighting that demon is to advise others not to get involved in them.
 
So what you did to hide your bad gambling behaviour is the right thing to do. It's better to show them you are not into it than for you to show them your weak part, which they can take as discouragement. Like, what's the point of trying to fight my gambling habit when there is someone like us who is not even bothered?

[crwth]

Isn't that how masking and lying to your friends is? It's trying to show that you don't trust them that they can control themselves. We all know the problems that gambling causes like addiction, depression, and financial issues. It's going to be a task that everyone should accept.

You must be honest with yourself so that the people around you are honest too. Don't let yourselves get tempted and ensure you are taking note of your achievements.

[o48o]

I beg a pardon if a thread like this has existed here.

I have been around my gambling friends and I have always acted to be 100% sticking to my gambling budgets such as how many times, a specific time and how much to spend on my gambling.
Once awhile I actually breaks that budget but though it does not affect my daily life and my bankrolls.
I literally claim this righteousness on my friends who are running out of their emotional control from gambling and psychologically I expects them to have me as an example whom they should emulate from in other to be recalled and take back control of their emotions while gambling.

Does any of you guys have any negative side of gambling habit in you which literally you advices anyone not to exhibit it?
Or can you afford to hide your real disreputable gambling life just to help an astray gambling friend or relative?

Sure. I avoid talking with them about betting opportunities, or big wins. I might mention losses to encourage them. Just like with a friend who is sober, i don't invite them to bars if they don't want to, i won't offer them a loan if they need it for beer, and i don't talk how fun we had last night. I only talk about hangovers and lost money, if i need to talk about that subject. Because i know quitting anything you are addicted to is hard. When i quitted smoking i avoided bars for a year. And few times when i went into them during that year, i felt isolated and alone when everyone went for smoke.

No one wants to feel seperate and left alone in a conversation, especially when they are struggling to avoid the thing.
Eventually you can go back to talking about gambling, but only after someone is clearly changed their routines, have their financial issues in control and are not tempted anymore. When they can handle it, it can actually make them stronger, when they know they can handle it.

[GigaBit]

Does any of you guys have any negative side of gambling habit in you which literally you advices anyone not to exhibit it?
Or can you afford to hide your real disreputable gambling life just to help an astray gambling friend or relative?

Sometimes this type of behavior is often seen where someone presents himself as not being an addicted gambler and is a fairly prudent gambler. But his character is not real. I don't understand the point of doing such a thing but I can assume that the gambler can identify himself as a responsible gambler to his friends. It can be done to show him that he can control any situation. But I didn't do any behavior where I had to pretend to be good. But I don't blame those who act like this to help their friends, because they are trying to bring others back. Because some gamblers are so addicted to gambling that it is difficult to get them back from that position. If such behavior can improve a gambler from gambling it is no less.

[_act_]

We are not a gambler if we do not experience negative traits, and we don't want to experience these negative traits, so it's just ok to share advice on these negative traits that your friends don't want to experience.

It's ok to be honest it's your friend and your friend or relative will be glad that you shared your experience so they will not get astray, sharing is caring especially for people you care for.

That is just it, it is good to be honest. One thing that the OP is experiencing that I noticed is that he is losing more than winning and that is enough to tell friends also to know that they should be careful while gambling and that they should have discipline for them not to lose too much while gambling. There should be no reason to lie and thinking you are helping when you are losing which is a lesson.

[hyudien]

on average, gamblers are hypocritical people, because usually what they say is sometimes the opposite of what actually happens, because i have also been like that where i have gambled beyond my means but i advised my friends not to gamble excessively. but even so, sometimes there are words that we need to sweeten to be able to give advice to others, even though it seems like hypocrisy, but they are the most appropriate words at that time and we don't need to think too much about it because of that just ordinary advice.

I think it has become a thing that is most likely bound to happen, I once cornered my friend when he lost a lot of money from gambling, with him saying no problem with the large amount of money he had lost, but there I kept saying "you must be upset" just like that until he was upset himself, actually my intention like that was just to joke, but indeed I think losing a lot of money in gambling must be upsetting, there is no way everything will be fine.
Or like you said, we ourselves sometimes lose control of gambling excessively, but we ourselves can advise friends or other people not to gamble excessively. That's hypocritical but not unusual, and I don't think it's just in gambling, but in other things as well.