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Author Topic: People keep asking me to borrow money, some of them for betting  (Read 1265 times)
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May 27, 2024, 09:41:22 PM
 #21

It has become increasingly common for friends and not-so-close "friends" to come and ask me to borrow money. I don't usually ask for the purpose, but some ask me because of betting at online houses.

The last time I lent money to a colleague, who I hadn't had much contact with other than at work for a short period, it was with great difficulty that I got the money back.

I don't know where people get the amount of money they think I have, they must think I look like a bank...

Who likes having to borrow money? Unless you are a loan shark and lend with collateral where the risk is almost zero, why lend money where you end up with a loss? 'cause in addition to no one paying you with interest, most never pay you on time, at least you will get your money back after repeated charges.

Some people even go so far as to ask me to borrow money for what? to bet!! What a joke. I answer briefly and bluntly that I don't have the money to lend for these purposes!

And the worst thing is that they ask me for small amounts, like $2, 5, 10$... I think that if the person doesn't have that money now, the chances of them getting that money to pay you are low. If the person is in need, it's easier for them to confess right away to see what I can do, because I'm not a bad person.

Do you usually lend money to relatives, friends, etc.? Have you ever felt bad about it, done it unwillingly?

And when they are female friends, do you lend them?

Just follow the simple rule - don't lend money that you cannot afford to lose. If a close friend asks me for $20, I'll sling it to them and while I expect it to be paid back in some form - would not chase it ever again. If they keep coming back and asking for more money, then I'd probably say no, because I am not here to hand out free cash that I've worked hard for and was not paid back previously. It's a bad cycle for someone to get into if they are relying on friends constantly and there is often some underlying habit that is causing that. People who get addicted, can often start putting their own addiction in front of their friends and in that scenario they are choosing to screw you over, so it may be time to re-evaluate your relationship. Male or female, it makes no difference.

R


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May 27, 2024, 09:41:57 PM
 #22

Welcome to my inbox. Lol.

A lot of people have no shame and feel like others have money they just give away. My advice is to just ignore them otherwise you’ll have a never-ending stream of charity requests. Stick to helping the people in your life or donating to established charities.

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May 27, 2024, 09:42:43 PM
 #23

Do you usually lend money to relatives, friends, etc.? Have you ever felt bad about it, done it unwillingly?
Most of my gambling colleagues are men. They gamble almost every day and spend so much money each month that they have to borrow from others. This habit has been going on for a long time and as a co-worker, I am of course a target for my colleagues who provide loans. I was not responsible for giving him a loan even though I gave it several times, but until I realized it would only burden him at the beginning of the month, I no longer gave him a loan.

A severe level of addiction will make a gambler always look for easy ways to get money. They get loans, work harder, or do something illegal. I also found a case of a village head spending government funds just for gambling. This case was revealed when the village financial audit team found irregularities in his financial reporting.

And when they are female friends, do you lend them?
I have not encountered such a case so far.
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May 27, 2024, 09:49:15 PM
 #24

Only those who suffer from gambling addiction may be led by their behavior to venture into debt in order to continue playing. Borrowing for the sake of gambling means that they have lost all their own money and all that remains for them is to gamble with other people’s money. Some who cannot find a loan, may consider stealing or defrauding to make money.

There is a basic rule in the fields of "trading" and "gambling" that says that you should never risk using money that you can't afford to lose because there is no guarantee that it will achieve returns. I do not consider either of them a real environment of investment because the degree of risk is high and the user may be involved in consequences that he is not able to bear.

R


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May 27, 2024, 09:56:12 PM
 #25

Do you usually lend money to relatives, friends, etc.? Have you ever felt bad about it, done it unwillingly?

And when they are female friends, do you lend them?

Not much but I do it when I think that I have to do it and when I'm sure that they will be able to repay it. I dont really care about the reason, I will not ask them what is their purpose because even if they tell the reason, I do not know whether they are lying or not about the reason. I also do not care about the gender, male or female does not matter. Even if it is female but if I think that she wont be able to repay it, I will not lend her. Usually I follow my own feeling but of course I will also see their track record.
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May 27, 2024, 09:59:17 PM
Last edit: May 27, 2024, 10:12:43 PM by kawetsriyanto
 #26

It has become increasingly common for friends and not-so-close "friends" to come and ask me to borrow money. I don't usually ask for the purpose, but some ask me because of betting at online houses.
It is a bad idea to lend people money without knowing the reasons/purposes. Even they are close people, we must ensure that they money will be used for useful things. If they borrow money for useless things, it is better to refuse them. They will be lazy to work and think too easy to get money from you in that way. Moreover, if they use the money for betting, you need to be more careful because you may be difficult to get back your money.

The last time I lent money to a colleague, who I hadn't had much contact with other than at work for a short period, it was with great difficulty that I got the money back.
This must be an important lesson for you. People may not keep their promises. This is very often happening.
In some cases, people can try to forget the loan or to keep delaying repay the loan many times. I've experienced this several times, just don't easily give people loan money. If it is not very urgent, rather than giving a loan it is better to give them small money to help them a bit.

Do you usually lend money to relatives, friends, etc.? Have you ever felt bad about it, done it unwillingly?
I become rarely to give a loan to anybody now. I've got few bad stories about loaning money. Even they are our close people, it is better to limit the money to lend with them. I ever give a loan to my uncle, but it ends up with a bad story. When I try to ask the money back, he always gives a reason to delay the repayment. Now, I have a bad relationship with him and I still can't get my money fully until now.

And when they are female friends, do you lend them?
It doesn't matter that they are female or male friends, I have the same rules in giving people loan money. I won't give them loan money if it is not an urgent matter, specifically if it is not for useful things. For gambling, I probably will refuse it in a humble way. In my own view, when you want to gamble, you must ensure that you have enough money in your pocket. If you take a loan, it means  you have no enough money.


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May 27, 2024, 10:15:42 PM
 #27

Do you usually lend money to relatives, friends, etc.? Have you ever felt bad about it, done it unwillingly?

And when they are female friends, do you lend them?
Both questions are no. First, I don't always lend money to my relatives or even to my family because I constantly give money, and that's it. Nothing more, nothing less. Lending money is kind of hard for me because I know that I may have a hard time claiming the money or that it might be forgotten, especially if you lend money to a friend or something. No matter what kind of friend I am, I don't always lend money. I always say that I don't have extra, but of course if it's an emergency, I'm willing to help. There was one time that one of my friends who is addicted to gambling borrowed some money from me and said that he would pay double if he won, but later on I noticed that he didn't show up to me, and when I contacted him, he said that he couldn't pay the money he borrowed because he also lost all that money, which made me not want to lend money anymore, especially if they would use it for gambling.

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May 27, 2024, 10:35:04 PM
 #28

Welcome to my inbox. Lol.

A lot of people have no shame and feel like others have money they just give away. My advice is to just ignore them otherwise you’ll have a never-ending stream of charity requests. Stick to helping the people in your life or donating to established charities.
True but Sometimes it may be from those close to you, they will then be acting as if they deserved every right to get what they want from you while even if you choose to give them some part of the money they literally won't feel appreciated about it, seeing you as a greedy fellow whereas you tried all your best especially in scenario were they know you have others to help out .


Just don't lend or lend with interest.

Over here 10% per month is not unusual.

I think some of them are borrowing money from friends because they just wanted to pay the principal only. If they wanted to loan with interest then they should go to a bank. Although lending money to people that you know is tricky, because sometimes they will tell you a lot of excuses or bringing sad stories in their live so that at least you won't hesitate to lend them money.
-Snip-
Even with interest I won't even bother to lend he or she if they're going to use it on gambling while in other case i might he tempted to but still yet I think some ask friends not just because of interest rather just to later on find a way of not paying back especially when things won't go as planned.

Aside from my past experience with others when I lend to them, I will also check how they treat others who lend previously before me, this report will be highly beneficial in giving such loans either big or small, though if I know such person is really bad in paying back loans but are really in need of money for something other than gambling I will gift them some amount from it rather than to give them loans for it.

 While some gamblers who might actually be good at gambling and able to pay back this loan even if they lose I may be magnanimous, I might just gift them some part of it to continue to stand on tge trust we have for each other

R


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May 28, 2024, 04:46:49 AM
 #29

How often do these people ask for a loan though? It sounds like a lot of people come to you regularly to ask for money. Which is weird unless you openly tell people that you can lend them money. Maybe one of your friends or family is spreading the news that you lend people your money easily. It is ridiculous that some of them can openly tell you that they will gamble with your money.

I lent some money to friends and family even to this day. Some of them have yet to pay it after two years of borrowing my money, without even telling me what they're doing with my money. Luckily I never lend them a lot of money, and most of them are for urgent needs like medical bills and stuff like that. I'd deny any request if they are not for emergency purpose.

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May 28, 2024, 05:55:20 AM
 #30

If you're people pleasure, naive, and never spend money for unnecessary thing, people will see you're like a bank since they know you choose to save your money instead of spend it and there's a chance you would lend your money since you will feel bad for rejecting their request.

The solution is never lend your money.

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May 28, 2024, 05:59:53 AM
 #31

Do you usually lend money to relatives, friends, etc.? Have you ever felt bad about it, done it unwillingly?
Everything will depend on the need and who is borrowing it, if it is the people closest to me and for important needs such as meeting life needs or other positive things then I will definitely always try to give it.
But if it is just for gambling capital, even if it is only small amount, I will never give it because this could become bad habit, I know that gambling carries big risk and can make anyone lose large amounts of money.
If they get loan to gamble then when the money runs out they will definitely try to borrow again and recover their losses, this is one of the bad habits that will occur if we lend money to someone for gambling capital.

Quote
And when they are female friends, do you lend them?
Whether it woman or man I don't care, if it just for gambling I won't provide any loan assistance even though they say they can pay it back in multiples.
What I think about is not about money but about the impact and also the bad habits that they can experience, I have had many bad experiences from gambling and I don't want many of the people closest to me to also experience the same thing.

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May 28, 2024, 06:33:00 AM
 #32


Do you usually lend money to relatives, friends, etc.? Have you ever felt bad about it, done it unwillingly?

And when they are female friends, do you lend them?
Firstly I think that you perhaps give your family and friends the impression that you have extra money, you might not do this intentionally but the way you talk about money can give them that impression, otherwise they will not always come to you.

It's easier to borrow money to outsiders than family and friends, you can take drastic actions to recover your money from outsiders, but you can create enemity between family and friends, when you want to forcefully recover your money. With family and friends, it's better to loan them the amount that you can afford to loose, so when they don't pay back, it won't affect your relationship with them. Try to know the purpose of the money that they want to borrow from you, if it's for gambling, you need to bluntly or gently tell then NO. People should never gamble with borrowed money, because you never know whether you'll win or lose.

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May 28, 2024, 06:38:11 AM
 #33

Do you usually lend money to relatives, friends, etc.? Have you ever felt bad about it, done it unwillingly?

And when they are female friends, do you lend them?
Lending money to relatives can cause serious problems. Some of them usually think that it is your responsibility to give them what they need. I have given my relatives money several times willingly and even unwillingly and they failed to return the money. When I asked them about the money, they felt offended, and it led to quarrels. So I have decided to only lend money that I can afford to lose if they refuse to pay back. If you ask for more than what I can afford to forgo, I will offer only what I can afford to lose. This pattern has worked perfectly for me because it has reduced disagreement and misunderstanding because of loans.

Some female friends are trustworthy. As much as you don't have any romantic relationship with them they usually pay back loans. However, I still apply the same strategy by giving what I can afford to lose. But if she is your date, consider the loan gone.

Lending money to someone because he wants to use it for gambling is not good except he is a responsible gambler who just ran out of cash. If he is an addict who wants to use the money to feed his unhealthy gambling habit, he will receive nothing from me.

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May 28, 2024, 06:55:28 AM
 #34

Do you usually lend money to relatives, friends, etc.? Have you ever felt bad about it, done it unwillingly?

And when they are female friends, do you lend them?
Lending money to relatives can cause serious problems. Some of them usually think that it is your responsibility to give them what they need. I have given my relatives money several times willingly and even unwillingly and they failed to return the money. When I asked them about the money, they felt offended, and it led to quarrels. So I have decided to only lend money that I can afford to lose if they refuse to pay back. If you ask for more than what I can afford to forgo, I will offer only what I can afford to lose. This pattern has worked perfectly for me because it has reduced disagreement and misunderstanding because of loans.

Some female friends are trustworthy. As much as you don't have any romantic relationship with them they usually pay back loans. However, I still apply the same strategy by giving what I can afford to lose. But if she is your date, consider the loan gone.

Lending money to someone because he wants to use it for gambling is not good except he is a responsible gambler who just ran out of cash. If he is an addict who wants to use the money to feed his unhealthy gambling habit, he will receive nothing from me.

I have my own policy in this regard and it is not to lend money to someone who really doesn't need it like if I have to lend money to someone who is addicted to gambling I try to understand if he is telling me the truth but sometimes it is impossible because they make up unlikely excuses that are very imaginative and absolutely untrue as regards giving a loan to girls if they are addicted too they are usually even worse than men because they are more intelligent and know how to cheat you well, it is difficult to understand if he is telling you the truth considering the fact that they know how to hide their vices very well so I usually don't lend anything to anyone unless they really deserve it

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May 28, 2024, 07:34:06 AM
 #35

I would lend out money, but it would depend on where it would be used.
If it would only be used for gambling, isn't emergency and not really important then I wouldn't help them out, I mean I could use that money on something important for me or my family so why would I lend it to others?
It would also depend on a situation, if I know that the person who is asking to borrow money from me spent his/her money on unnecessary then I wouldn't help them, for me they are the problem not the money if I help them then they would just continue to live like it, they wouldn't change.
yes, that's right, I will do as you say, if they really need money for something that is an emergency such as treatment or something else then I can lend it, but if the money is used for gambling I won't lend it because in my opinion it will only Just making them addicted, lending money to them which is intended to be used for gambling is the same as giving them a way to become addicted to gambling. Moreover, there is no guarantee of winning, so I myself am not sure that the person can pay and pay off their debt if they use it for gambling, even if they have income that is used as a bet to pay off, I will not lend it.
In fact, being good is a must, but of course we also have to be able to see in what ways we are helping other people, if helping them finance gambling is not recommended. Apart from that, there are many other things that are more important to do than gambling. with those who are addicted to gambling, of course there will be opportunities for them to take out loans and of course they will not say that if they borrow the money they will use it for gambling, of course they will have other reasons.

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May 28, 2024, 07:35:49 AM
 #36

A lot of people have no shame and feel like others have money they just give away. My advice is to just ignore them otherwise you’ll have a never-ending stream of charity requests. Stick to helping the people in your life or donating to established charities.
But what about someone in someone's life that he gave or borrowed money but the person later found out that he or she is addicted to gambling? Another thing is that a friend can be in someone's life like being helpful and there when needed but I think friends are different as some will be there but disappointed when needed help from his friend. Although I understood your point and it is not wrong. The people that I see that are in my life are my family.

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May 28, 2024, 07:56:04 AM
 #37

When someone asks me for money, I see a nice opportunity to test friendship through this favor. I am the kind of person that always give money to friends, but after a complete explanation what these money are for. If a person is short in money, then I can borrow him without setting any time limit for return. If for some reason that person "forgets" about his debt, I forget this person as a friend. If someone asks money for gambling, I always set time limit to return. I think 3 months is enough to return any debt.

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May 28, 2024, 09:45:49 AM
 #38

If you lend someone money to gamble and that person borrows money to gamble, both parties are at considerable risk after lending the money. That is why the two parties will be in considerable danger because one party will lose money by gambling money by taking a loan for gambling, as a result of which he will not have the money to repay the loan, on the other hand, the person who gives the loan to that person will not get his money back on time. In this case, it can be seen that a relationship between the lender and the borrower is bad for money. So not only the gambler should be careful in this matter but also the person who lends money to the gambler for gambling should also be careful as it can be seen that the gambler tries to borrow money for gambling but he later fails to borrow the money. Money can be loaned or loaned to others for good deeds but money should never be lent for gambling.

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May 28, 2024, 10:35:00 AM
 #39

Some people even go so far as to ask me to borrow money for what? to bet!! What a joke. I answer briefly and bluntly that I don't have the money to lend for these purposes.
If you have positioned yourself in a manner that people see you as someone that always has, they would always be tempted to ask you for financial help. If they notice how receptive you are to their demands, they will make it a habit to always ask you for help even for things that are not necessary.

If you refuse giving money to someone for the purpose of betting, and you make it known to them that you have refused to help because the what they need the money for is a nonsense reason, they may come back again next time with another reason they feel is better even though it is a lie just to make sure that you give them. This is why if you do not want to give, be straightforward and decline and do not give any reason for it.



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May 28, 2024, 10:39:19 AM
 #40

That's the problem when you are lending it to friends because there's a chance they will take advantage of you.
Perhaps you lend some money to someone he knew before and then the "pass the message" happens. You know, there will be friends who will suggest borrowing some money from you because you did it before for them.

That is what is happening to me right now. Most people in my neighborhood will come at me to borrow money although I am not rich. I guess it's because I won't say no unless I don't really have the money.
But I am thankful that they do give it back in time and maybe the reason behind it is I don't put interest in it. 1:1. Also, I know the money is for a good purpose like their salaries are late so they cannot pay their bills or something is delayed so they just need a bit of money to survive the day, and not because of gambling.

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..PLAY NOW..
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